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Inviting only the boys to DS's birthday party?

onetwofreeonetwofree member
in Pre-School and Daycare

DS's birthday party is 2 weeks after school starts. Our venue has a max of 20 kids.  In theory, I would love to invite his entire class of 14.  But we have 10-15 (depending on how many can make it) kids that are family or close family friends that we are inviting already. DS is on the shy side and doesn't do well with huge gatherings, so we don't want to do more than 20 kids.

DS requested a few kids (6) from his class last year that he'd like to be invited. That ends up being almost half of the class since they all happen to also be in his class next year.  Would it be terrible to only invite half?  I really do feel bad and I don't want anyone to feel left out.  I'm hoping that since it's the very beginning of the school year, it won't be as noticeable that they weren't invited.  The other option is that space permitting, I could invite all the boys (the 6 he chose were all boys) in the class since I don't think it's too many more.

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Re: Inviting only the boys to DS's birthday party?

  • EchowyspEchowysp member
    I'm of the "Just invite who you want to birthday parties" camp.  Just invite the kids discreetly and invite the kids your ds requested.   And don't feel bad about it.  The entire class will be celebrating your ds' birthday in class when you bring in snacks.  Parties should be reserved for special friends and family, in my opinion.
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member

    Funny, I'm getting invites now for parties of kids  in their classes this fall.  Meaning we haven't met these kidsor their parents and it seems weird to me.

    I once read in a magazine that the number of years the child turns is the perfect number of kids to invite.  I pretty much use that guideline for who they invite.  Of course we have friends and neighbors that are also invited.  We've attended parties that were huge (20 kids to me is huge- that's bigger than a class they're used to) and were absolutely fine.  But we have definitely not been invited to every classmate's bdays, so I didn't hesitate to keep it small. 

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  • Jen&LenJen&Len
    imageLoveEeyore:

    Funny, I'm getting invites now for parties of kids  in their classes this fall.  Meaning we haven't met these kidsor their parents and it seems weird to me.

    I once read in a magazine that the number of years the child turns is the perfect number of kids to invite.  I pretty much use that guideline for who they invite.  Of course we have friends and neighbors that are also invited.  We've attended parties that were huge (20 kids to me is huge- that's bigger than a class they're used to) and were absolutely fine.  But we have definitely not been invited to every classmate's bdays, so I didn't hesitate to keep it small. 

     This would be our situation.  If I wait until school starts to send them, it would be a little too late since the party is just 1.5 weeks after.  I think I'll just stick to the few kids DS requested.  He grew up with the 10-15 family friends, so he'll be fine with them.  I'm just going to do online invites and i'll still bring in treats for the entire class during the school day.

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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I think it is totally fine to only invite the child wants at their party.  I hate the all class type parties as they are just too big and most kids feel overwhelmed.  If you mail the invites and if the kids have a parent folder or something like that where the invites are not just passed out to the kids or are sitting our for everyone to see, I think its totally fine.  My DD's PreK last year had a rule that the kids were not allowed to discuss parties.  I know its hard to enforce, especially as they get older but I also think that as the kids get older, the parties get smaller and the kids invite a small handful of their friends vs the whole class.  We did 1 whole class party and never again - we did it at a place were we paid for 25 kids regardless of if we had 10 kids or 25 so we just did it.  About 75% of the kids came and my DD hated it.  Way to many people.  This year, for my DD's 6th party - we had 15 kids which included her and her sister plus 2 cousins and the rest friends.  It was perfect size wise and DD invited 6 of her closer friends and she loved helping make the decision.  DH and I have decided that 15 (including our kids) will be the max number but I really can't wait until we start doing smaller parties with just a few girlfriends.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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