Do you ever feel sad about the decision?
DH and I are in complete agreement that we are done, for so many reasons. Heck, our original plan was to only have two kids total! Heehee.
That being said, I can't help but feel so sad about the idea of not having anymore babies. Which is crazy b/c I know stopping is what's best for our family, I don't think I could handle a 3rd high risk pregnancy, I can't go through the newborn phase again, I want my body back someday soon after going on 3 years of nonstop pregnancy or BFing, etc, etc.
But when I put away clothes that are outgrown, knowing their next stop is a yard sale, it just makes me so sad..... I know I'll get over it, and just look forward to my brother and his new wife giving me nieces or nephews, there's probably a lot of hormones affecting me right now....
Did anyone else feel this way?
Re: If you know you are done having kids....
There is an instinctual drive in most people that underlies our conscious will.. as long as you are young enough to be able to bear children, that feeling of regret and stress can follow you around for a little while, whether you have no children or ten. It's a natural biological emotion rooted in survival of the species
But there is nothing on a logical or personal level that you should feel bad about. If you are ready to be done and enjoy the lives of the children you already have now - that's an amazing choice to make and one you should feel proud of. If and when your own children decide to have kids, you can enjoy those babies without risking your own health or sanity.
Having twins gives me one more than I'd really wanted, but I'm getting two sons out of the deal, so despite the health issues I'm going through right now, this last ride is worth it - but between my two girls and my upcoming boys, I am absolutely 100% done. I neither want to, nor do I have any business bringing more kids into this world
I'm sure that I'll feel a bit of animalistic distress over permanently ending my own fertility, but if I decide to keep these ovaries AND get pregnant again, I would be putting my family at risk... not to mention the expenses that I'll already have to work doubly hard to cover without having more children.
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
Thank you! This was so good to read. Lately I've been feeling waves of baby fever, and can't figure out why. While I'm not 100% decided on having another or not, logically it seems impossible right now. So, I've been wondering what the heck is wrong with me!
Yes. I went through clothes last weekend and can't believe my little (now big!) guy is growing out of all his 3 month stuff. I was sad packing it all up for a friend. I told her I have more clothes for her and she said she has sme to give back already. I said keep them for the next baby. She said are you sure?
I still feel sad sometimes knowing I will never breastfeed again or snuggle a tiny newborn of my own. Logically, financially, selfishly, emotionally, I know we are done. We only wanted two so this worked out perfectly for me. Plus, the chance we could have twins again scares the crap out of me. Not that I don't love my babies more than words can say, but this is still hard most days.
Selfishly I am looking forward to getting back to running 1/2's and maybe a full marathon someday, finishing some career goals, and spending some time with just the two of us.
Boy/girl twins born at 37w1d and 37w2d
We are putting off a final decision until they are 1 year old, but we both feel like we're probably done. It's a bit of a surprise because I always wanted 3, but I don't feel sad when I think about not having more, and that's my biggest clue that we're probably done. I feel like our family is already complete and stopping here will give us the chance to really give our all to them - financially and otherwise. And honestly, one trip through pregnancy and the newborn stage was enough for our family. It would absolutely be worth it to do it again if we strongly felt that we wanted more, but at least for the moment we don't feel that way.
I have a feeling this will be me!
This is how I felt when my boys were your LOs' age. We had only planned on having 2. DH wanted another, though. I kept it in the back of my mind and now I am getting kind of excited about the thought of a third... something I never wanted and something I never thought I'd say.
Dx: MFI- 3% morph
IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Yes, but mainly because the twins were my 1 and only pregnancy. I would love to experience having a singleton pregnancy and only 1 baby at a time. Being able to have that easy bonding experience instead of feeling like I may not survive another day of taking care of newborn twins.
I know even a singleton pregnancy and baby can be challenging, but I would love to have the chance. But DH and I agreed it is best for our family to only have the 2 girls. Right now we can afford for me to stay at home with them and put money away for college for them every month. We live comfortably on my DH's salary alone. If we were to have another baby it would totally change our financial outlook. And I just don't feel comfortable putting my family at financial risk because I want to have another baby. Also with a 3rd child I would need to go back to work since I don't see how we could make it on DH's salary alone. I love being home with my girls and I would want to be home with a new baby as well, not putting them all in daycare/before and aftercare for school.
So yes, I do long for another baby. But I am very happy with my family of 4. It will probably get easier in a few more years when they are in school full time, I will never want to go back to the diaper stage again. At least not until I am a grandma.
Same here. I got excited yesterday when we were out shopping and seeing all the back to school clothes. I loved going back to school shopping with my Mom and can't wait to take my DD
I'm even looking forward to next summer when we can do things like family bike rides and take them in the double jogger.
Boy/girl twins born at 37w1d and 37w2d