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Single Parents
Annya26
member
New and a Question
Annya26
member
Hello all!
I posted a few times while I was pregnant but haven't been on since DS was born. 27 and a single mom to one beautiful 7 month old boy. Dad split when I got pregnant and is not involved in any way. (They have never met)
This might be a silly question, but how do you know when the time is right to start dating?
I have mixed feelings on the matter and have no idea how I would meet someone or go on a date since I have LO 24/7 but I'm starting to toy with the idea of having a partner at some point in the future and I'm wondering how others knew the time was right for them....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New and a Question
Do it when it feels right for you. It's pretty much the same thing as dating without kids - you shouldn't rush into anything, only commit when you're feeling something, and never feel obligated to 'go out' with someone. I'm pregnant now, and while I'm not exactly thinking about dating, I'm sure it'll happen some day after LO is born. Dating doesn't mean I have to expose him to these men right away.. just testing the waters, going out on dates to a restaurant or a movie is good enough. Maybe see if your friends/family can set up a blind date? There's also dating sites online for people who don't have time to go out to bars, social activities, etc.
Anyway, good luck.
There is nothing wrong with once a week having family watch LO for a couple hours. The space is good for both of you and in that meantime you can get out to either date or hang with friends...maybe meet people when dating. Dating is hard with a child, you need to find someone that is willing to understand your situation. But start out slow. There is nothing wrong with you trying to date so don't feel so bad about it. If you have a really close friend, she/he might know someone good for you...so have them set you up on a date. Don't do the whole bar scene, its not worth it. Anyways good luck hun. I wish you the best. Your a great mom so always remember that even though you have second thoughts about dating.
It all depends on where you are at in your life. While a single mom I pictured myself raising DS alone, and then maybe finding someone and getting married after DS was off at college. Well, when DS was 2 an amazing guy walked into my life, and after some convincing, I went on a date with him. When dated for a few months, became exclusive, and then a few months later I let him meet DS. He is now an amazing SF to DS and an amazing H to me. The time was right for me because I wasn't LOOKING, and I had the single mom thing down pat. I didn't feel like I NEEDED someone - heck, I didn't even think I wanted someone!
When I first started dating my now DH, I would feel guilty for leaving DS. I would schedule the dates later in the evening so that DS would be in bed the majority of the date, so I didn't feel like I was slighting him as much.
Are you happy without a man? Or do you want one to fill the void? If the latter, wait until you're at a point where the prior is true. Take things slow at first (have a trusted friend or relative watch DS one night a week so you can go out on a date) and then don't rush bringing DS into the relationship.
It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and that you will be smart about things.
Thank you for the replies ladies... Touched on some things that I didn't even realize were bugging me until someone else said it.
I don't think I'm quite there yet. Probably too many unresolved feelings with BD. I AM content just having it by my son and I and can't even picture having anyone else in our lives at some point but I guess a part of my still wants that "cookie cutter" marriage/family type life.