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December 2010 Moms
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Totally petty vent...

jillybean800jillybean800 member
in December 2010 Moms

I'm warning you, this comes across as completely petty, yet it is on my mind!

My H has family 2 hours away from us...one part of the family is 2 hours North, one is 2 hours South. Lots of them have kids, so we have been going to first birthday parties, showers, weddings, etc for them.  I don't mind going, it is his family and it's not really a big deal to go and we have fun.  Often with traffic though, one part of the trip ends up being 3-4 hours.  These are for 3 hour parties! They are difficult trips.

Anyway, my H and I go in our car with A.  But my MIL and FIL always offer to drive my SIL and BIL and their baby in their car.  It strikes me as unfair...why do they always get a ride and can lounge in the back and relax and not have to think about traffic, directions etc? The reason is that my in laws feel that my BIL and SIL aren't that good at driving and would feel safer if they were with them. I'm sorry, but this is infantalizing them (they are 35)  They will get better at driving IF THEY JUST DRIVE.

Anyway, I said to my H, you know we are going to this party tomorrow, let's ask your parents to drive us this time. I'm pregnant, you burned your leg pretty badly (that's a whole other story).  They were like, Oh no, I think you guys won't fit. We will all take our own cars. Ok, fine. But then I was said to my H, you know we should drive your parents. They always take other people and your mom needs a break from driving.  So we call back and my MIL is like, "well...we may be taking your sister and her family."  Aha! I thought so.

I know I shouldn't care that other people are getting a ride and not me. It's not even like I would like to be squished into someone else's car. It's more that I just don't want them to have the ride...petty, I know. 

The other annoying part of this is that my BIL and SIL bought my car in 2008 and they are always acting like I gave them some sort of lemon because they have to make repairs on it.  It's a 2000...there is going to be some maintenance involved! But my FIL had the nerve to say yesterday, well we have to drive them and not you guys because their car is a piece of crap.  I would gladly take it back. I miss my Honda, it's a great car.  Stop acting like I pulled the wool over their eyes by giving them that car!!!

Sorry about the petty vent! They just always treat them like children and it annoys me.

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Re: Totally petty vent...

  • LuckyladyJLuckyladyJ
    yes it sounds annoying,but do you think the reason they don't drive you is because you have lo and you might want to leave earlier?

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  • dee12807dee12807 member
    I would be annoyed too! It not always the act that's annoying, but the unfairness of it.
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  • LuckyladyJLuckyladyJ
    imagedee12807:
    I would be annoyed too! It not always the act that's annoying, but the unfairness of it.

    This too
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  • jillybean800jillybean800 member

    imageLuckyladyJ:
    yes it sounds annoying,but do you think the reason they don't drive you is because you have lo and you might want to leave earlier?

    No, they have a baby too,only 2 months younger than mine!

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  • LuckyladyJLuckyladyJ
    imagejillybean800:

    imageLuckyladyJ:
    yes it sounds annoying,but do you think the reason they don't drive you is because you have lo and you might want to leave earlier?

    No, they have a baby too,only 2 months younger than mine!



    ok I have no answer then.
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  • JLSmith124JLSmith124 member

    imagedee12807:
    I would be annoyed too! It not always the act that's annoying, but the unfairness of it.

    Definitely this. You have a right to be annoyed, as petty as it sounds. 

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  • jillybean800jillybean800 member

    Update:

    Since we offered to come pick them up, my FIL called and asked if he could come with us to give them more room in the car. My H said yes. So now we are not only driving, we are going out of our way to pick him up, my MIL still has to drive AND we gave my BIL and SIL room to spread out in their "limo."

    WTF? How did that happen? 

    I have not slept well all week and I am a raging *** this morning.  Hope my H has fun with that.

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  • sroszcsroszc member
    Super annoying.  I think I would start skipping a few parties, especially as you get further along in the pregnancy and then with the newbie.  You've got plenty of excuses to bail on a few of these parties, sounds like there are a lot!
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  • TMNTgirlTMNTgirl member
    imagesroszc:
    Super annoying.nbsp; I think I would start skipping a few parties, especially as you get further along in the pregnancy and then with the newbie.nbsp; You've got plenty of excuses to bail on a few of these parties, sounds like there are a lot!


    Ditto. Use the pregnancy and newborn excuses while you can!

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  • MrsDe2008MrsDe2008 member
    Yea...I'd be annoyed, but you are a much better person than I am for even saying yes to parties that are 2 hours away. I'd skip them all together. :/
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  • TripMommaTripMomma member

    imagesroszc:
    Super annoying.  I think I would start skipping a few parties, especially as you get further along in the pregnancy and then with the newbie.  You've got plenty of excuses to bail on a few of these parties, sounds like there are a lot!

    I agree totally. Annoying for sure.

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  • smithpaintsmithpaint member
    No you are not being petty.  We deal with a similar situation with DH's family and his youngest brother.  It gets rather aggravating at times.  I guess it's further proof that life is never fair.  I love how somehow your DH's parents don't realize what they are doing even though it is obvious to everyone else which is how it is in our situation as well.

     

     

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  • watermellenswatermellens member

    Not petty at all - this whole thing is really weird! It makes me nervous that your BIL and SIL are driving at all if they're "not good at it" I'm assuming they drive their LO around to the doctors, grocery store, mall, etc right? And they both passed their drivers test?

    Next time, I would just pass on the party and tell your IL's that you just feel too pregnant and burnt out to drive, worry about traffic and directions and keeping a toddler happy. You can casually mention "hey if you'd like to drive us this time instead of BIL/SIL that would be great, but otherwise, we're going to pass" 

    Maybe they'll get the hint?


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