work + unknown outcome = disheartening

rockpaperlove · August 2012

DH owns his own company with 20-30 employees to manage. He works long days (12hrs+) and he has to bring his work home with him most days. You would think he would be the grumpy one about this, but it is me that is frustrated.

Times are still a bit volatile so we want to stay ahead by taking on more than we typically would work wise - and with aaaanother upcoming oop ivf cycle on our shoulders - I am for the most part patient with the amount of time to be dedicated to the business - partly for both of us I am his office mgr.

I suppose my overall whiney selfish gripe is that this work schedule is another way infertility has changed us as individuals and as a couple. If we didn't have the overhead of costly cycling - no one would have to work like a dog, which is ultimately taking away from our care free quality time as a couple.

All I know is that I would have far fewer gripes if the work schedule was paying off with a successful cycle in the end, but we have no way of knowing that we are working hard for something that will "payoff".

Just frustrated and I feel like I selfishly misplace that resentment on DH sometimes. It isn't his fault he has to work night and day to keep ahead - it is just another frustration owed to infertility and I hate it.

Gripe over.

Gregermis · August 2012

hugs

Roxie5739 · August 2012

a gripe that is totally justified. IF gets us all down some way or another. It seems to effect the nicest people in this world and for me, I have accepted it as a challenge that "someone" plopped on my shoulders to make be a better, stonger and more patient person. The process of cycle after cycle is simply unfair, but I know that for you, RPL, it will end in success and you will look back at these days as what was needed to achieve your dream. Once you suceed, you will have a whole set of different challenges, some good, some bad, but that is life sadly.

Chin up, stay strong!

rockpaperlove · August 2012

I think I would have ease..if I knew our extensive efforts were a guarantee, but that is not possible. No crystal ball here. Time is precious and the efforts to pay for these cycles without guaranteed "reward" is stressful. -trying hard to keep my eye on the (hopeful) prize.

NMscubagirl · August 2012

Hugs! Sorry hun

Mitzi Bishi · August 2012

Isn't it incredible how IF seems to permeate into every single nook and cranny? Nothing remains unscathed.

I know the anxiety you are feeling, but I'm sure it's even more since you're having to both run a business and overwork yourselves for the unknown.

One thing I loathe, perhaps unfairly, is that my DH has a lot of young moms at his office who are working part time, which in turn means getting paid 50% salary. They are in no way shape or form working 50% as much as he is. They leave early to pick up their kids and rarely get invested in projects... so he's left picking up the slack. He never complains publicly, because no one wants to be the person who isn't pro moms in the work place, but given our circumstances it's really difficult.

Everyone expects those without children (despite circumstances) to be the ones that should work like dogs, to travel for work, to be away from their spouses because what else do people have to do? No one is there offering extra support for people like us.

Doctors appointments and the like are hard enough to work around... coupled with the heartache, the uncertainty, and the all around emotional tug-o-war it's hell.

Gripe away! We certainly understand.

MBfromBMC · August 2012

Huge hugs. I understand perfectly. I'm always the one who has to pick up the slack for the moms at my job and it makes it hurt even more than it already does...

rockpaperlove · August 2012

Thanks for hearing out my gripe ladies. I know I should be thankful that we are sustaining and able to pay for these cycles, but I just wish our extra hard work was paying toward a baby fund or college fund or anything with child included guarantee. Hugs back to each of you dealing with IF work related frustrations.

emca · August 2012

I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time. IF sucks and it is really unfair how it changes all of us. Good Luck with your CCRM consult. I just had mine and was able to to for my ODWU on Thursday and I am planning to cycle out there soon. I am impressed so far and if you want to talk, etc. about CCRM, feel free to PM me. Tons of hugs.

rockpaperlove · August 2012

emca:
I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time. IF sucks and it is really unfair how it changes all of us. Good Luck with your CCRM consult. I just had mine and was able to to for my ODWU on Thursday and I am planning to cycle out there soon. I am impressed so far and if you want to talk, etc. about CCRM, feel free to PM me. Tons of hugs.

I will def take you up on that! Thanks and best of luck with your cycle!

joules12 · August 2012

Major hugs! Definitely warranted concerns and frustrations. Just echoing PP that it really is awful how many things in our lives are affected by IF -- I hate it!

Jlynn3 · August 2012

big big (((hugs)))

work + unknown outcome = disheartening

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