Hi - and I need recs in North Jersey if anyone can help.

K&J64 · August 2012

I've never posted on TB before, so hello. My wife and I are gearing up to start TTC soonish and trying to figure out what we're doing. Where I'm really stuck is GLMA doesn't have any OB-Gyns listed in NJ, at all. Surely there are lesbian friendly Ob-Gyns in North Jersey though, I hope. Anyone from the area have a doc they love? Perhaps one that works at Holy Name in Teaneck or Valley in Ridgewood?

Also, I'm ignorant, do I go to an ob-gyn for an IUI or a fertility clinic? Any clinic recs? Cryobank recs (we want photos adult and child, medical, etc)?

I know most insurance in NJ has to cover IUI/IVF, but approximate cost for sperm and IUI per cycle in the area would be super helpful. I have a ballpark from friends in CA, but maybe the East Coast is different?

Also feel free to ask me questions since I just barged in here with all my silly questions, I'll try to answer them all.

mrsemily08 · August 2012

We lived in PA when we were TTC so I haven't looked into REs here. I do know one of my friends had some issues getting Aetna to cover her IUIs b/c she hadn't been "trying" for 6 mo first. Sperm costs aren't regional if you order from one of the big banks (we used Fairfax).

We went the RE route b/c my insurance at the time covered most of it, and it ended up being the right choice due to fertility issues. We moved mid-pregnancy, and saw an MFM due to pregnancy complications, so I still need to seek out an OB (and will likely go to one w/ privileges at Valley due to where we live) but to be honest I'm not overly concerned about finding a lesbian friendly doc. NJ has enough protections in place that it shouldn't be an issue, and we never had an issue w/ the MFM, hospital or pedi/other docs since the twins came. I'm much more concerned about the OB's staffing and office hours.

mrsemily08 · August 2012

also, I'd go with Valley (Hackensack if you think for some reason you'll be really high risk) if hospital matters to you. I'd also consider docs out of St Joes (much less "nice" facility, but good NICU and our MFM was out of there and FANTASTIC)

K&J64 · August 2012

Thanks for the tips! Valley is choice #1 then we were thinking Holy Name in Teaneck over Hackensack, do you suggest the other? I have other doctors out of Hackensack and they're perfectly good, I just don't know anyone who's had a baby there, I do at the other two hospitals.

And what's RE? I would hope my insurance would be fine, I don't have Aetna, I have Horizon BC/BS, and my company is very LGBT friendly so hopefully IUIs would be covered, as clearly I can't "try" for 6 months.

Kershnic · August 2012

RE = reproductive endocrinologist.

You need to call your insurance and/or have your chosen doctor's office call your insurance to find out what's covered. It has nothing at all to do with whether your company is gay friendly and everything to do with the insurance policies. Some insurance companies require that you pay out of pocket for a certain number of IUI cycles before any infertility coverage you may or may not have kicks in.

I can't help you with doctors as I go to the city.

Kershnic · August 2012

Also read the board FAQs and back posts a bit, as a lot of your questions are addressed.

Good luck.

mrsemily08 · August 2012

I have Horizon too, but honestly I haven't looked much into the benefits since we're not TTC. Some is insurance company driven and some is driven by the specific plan of your company. My old insurance was fantastic and covered all of our fertility treatment (incl a lifetime cap of 10k in drugs) but only had coverage for 1 IVF (which we didn't do) and did not pay for the actual IUI (which was like $200). When you meet with the doctor, their insurance specialist should be able to go over details.

I don't know anything about Holy Name offhand. I was born there though

K&J64 · August 2012

Thank you for all the info, so helpful. I know I need to call the ins. company, but I'm hoping my company picked their most inclusive plan, they score a 100 on HRC's corporate eqaulity index, so I'm optimistic.

I figure when we finally hopefully get pregnant we can go check out the hospitals. I would prefer a private room, so that will play into my choice for sure.

I'm pretty much excited and terrified about all this at the same time lol.

Thanks again!

ball.and.chain · August 2012

I'll try to answer a few questions that haven't really been addressed...though you may have found answers to some on the FAQ. I can't address NJ stuff, but I think that's been covered.

Also, I'm ignorant, do I go to an ob-gyn for an IUI or a fertility clinic? Any clinic recs? Cryobank recs (we want photos adult and child, medical, etc)?

You have options, probably. In my area (Boston) there is a midwife practice that provides low-intervention (and relatively inexpensive) IUIs to lesbians and single women, a LGBT health center that provides a similar service, and several fertility clinics at which you would see an RE (and those are going to be more intensive treatment but I also think your odds are probably higher, since they are experts at getting women pregnant). I know there are also OBs that will do IUIs, but I have no personal experience with that. So it's worth looking around and seeing what your options are and then figuring out what you're most comfortable with. I originally wanted low intervention and didn't want to be treated like I was infertile when I just lacked sperm, so I started with the midwife practice. After 4 failed IUIs, I realized I wanted testing to make sure nothing was wrong and to increase my odds, and I happily switched to an RE -- which is good because I never did get pregnant via IUI, despite never receiving an infertility diagnosis.

I know most insurance in NJ has to cover IUI/IVF, but approximate cost for sperm and IUI per cycle in the area would be super helpful. I have a ballpark from friends in CA, but maybe the East Coast is different?

I don't think there's much variation coast-to-coast -- partly because you and your bank are not necessarily on the same coast. I use California Cryobank and we pay $715 per vial for open donors (willing to be contacted when child is 18 -- truly anonymous donors are cheaper). When I compared their prices to other major cryobanks, I found there wasn't a lot of difference, though I think there are smaller cryobanks that are cheaper. CCB's sperm is stored in LA, so we have to pay shipping from LA, which is expensive (at least $100 per shipment, because you're doing overnight or 2-day and the nitrogen tank is big). A local bank can be cheaper if your sperm can be delivered to you/your doctor via courier rather than shipping, but we did not find a donor we liked at our local bank.

K&J64 · August 2012

Thanks for the additional info, it helps frame things in my mind as we start planning.

Hi - and I need recs in North Jersey if anyone can help.

Re: Hi - and I need recs in North Jersey if anyone can help.

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