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Working Moms
KathrynMD
member
slightly deep Q for a Friday, but why do daycares get such a bad rap?
KathrynMD
member
in Working Moms
And, more importantly, why aren't daycare owners doing a better job advertising themselves and how good they are?
Many people (me included) had incorrect views of daycares before I started going to one. I've really enjoyed our time there and even my mom and MIL who were both very skeptical (because they were so ignorant about them) are big fans and tell all the younger, STB new mothers and fathers they know about the great experiences we've had and how positive its been for DD.
I don't knwo why daycares and specifically their industry organization, doesn't run some kind of PR campaign about how good daycares can be - for kids, families, etc. Its like a dirty secret that daycares don't suck or something.
(this is not to say there aren't daycare that do suck and neglect kids, etc.) but that's not the norm and providing a little more context to how good daycare can be would mitigate the fallout when those things do happen.
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Re: slightly deep Q for a Friday, but why do daycares get such a bad rap?
That said, my center does PLENTY of PR; for instance, we get weekly notices to vote for it as "Parents' Choice for Top Daycare" leading up to a local parenting magazine competition.
And lastly, I'm 100 percent sure their industry organization does PR. But I work in the media; no one wants to cover the feel good daycare is so awesome story.
I agree with pp; we use Bright Horizons and I think they market themselves pretty effectively. It is not hard to find out about them and what their philosophy/curriculum is all about.
That said, I think there is still a societal/cultural/media bias that SAHM is best and family care is next best if you "have to" work, so nobody wants to talk about the benefits of day care. It is assumed that it's a subpar choice. I can only speak for myself, but I can guarantee that my kids are better off (like 1,000x over) at Bright Horizons than they would be if watched by my family. Just my opinion.
I think the issue stems from mommy wars, deep down. Women love to say how terrible day cares are, because they think it makes them look better if they are able to stay at home with their LOs. "I want to raise my own children" is one of the most irritating statements to me, and is really at the heart of the issue. Some people don't understand wanting to pay other people for child care. That said, I love my DCP, and I love what going there does for my son.
I think it is because the vocal majority only gripe about problems, never talk about the good things. And this (common) propensity is exaggerated because that vocal majority is made up of parents who are more likely to overreact than your average mom and dad.
So you've got the 'helicopter' type parent who nitpicks every.little.thing who is also kind of a mouthpiece. The result is an exponential rise in complaints relative to the actual standard of care.
Are there some problems in some daycares? Sure. But overall I think most daycares do a good job and have good people working there with the best interest of the child at heart.
I love my daycare. I have no doubt in my mind they do a fantastic job day in and day out. And they are paid miserably for one of the most important jobs a person could have.
I think this is 100% spot on.
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
Yes, exactly!
The story isn't "daycares are so great;" it's "daycares are so great COMPARED TO WHAT."
And I bet the answer is that it really doesn't matter who watches your kids as long as it's a nurturing environment, and in fact, I believe those studies have already been done. If there were new data, it would be worth touting but I bet daycares would rank as a perfectly adequate choice on par with a nanny and a SAHP after you control for selection bias.
because there are so many human interest stories, and 20/20 or dateline episodes about horrible daycares. teachers verbabally and physically abusing kids, encouraging them to fight and posting the videos on youtube, being too lax and having kids get injured, etc.
I think it is this to some extent, but I also just think it is scary to place your child in someone else's hands. Imaginations run wild and horror stories proliferate, true or not. One of my professors used to talk about the "routine atrocities" of war. You think of the worst things your enemy could do and accuse them of them--- "the enemy defiles our holy places, steals our goods, rapes our women, eats babies and sodomizes old people!" Some of these things are probably true but the others are absurd or extremely limited. In the context of daycare it becomes "there are too many babies and not enough adults, they feed them processed food, let them watch tv, leave them in bouncers all day long and drop them on their heads!"
Really? I get both subtle and not-so-subtle comments from family members, friends, co-workers, acquaintances...
Me too. I get some pretty interesting attitudes from both male and female coworkers. I just roll my eyes inside and think about how awesome my four year old is after four years in a center.
I think the issues are
1. The only time we ever hear about daycare having a bad rap is in the media when something bad happens
2. The mommy wars. Like putting a child in daycare is a last resort and that you should try and sah first, followed by family and last if all else then use daycare. https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/68265239.aspx
I had to laugh at some of these responses.
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
honestly, that's kinda what I thought too - not having had ANY exposure to daycares before DD started attending one. I remember (very seriously) asking on my tour of the infant room (before DD was born) if they spend all their time in the cribs. OMG - the laughed at me and were like "no, unless they are asleep, they are never in their cribs" they are on floor, playing, lookng at books, in exersaucers, bouncy chairs, etc." and I was so relieved.
Call me cynical, but I think if we get too excited publicly about how much we love our daycares, the parents who choose to stay at home will feel like it's an attack and an insult to their parenting choices. I don't think that would ever be anyone's intention, but we live in a powder keg regarding family decisions any more.
I'm content with letting how much I love daycare be my own little secret.
This
I feel like it dates back a long time--- when many of our mothers were having kids (esp those of us with parents in their 60s & 70s), many women didn't work & I think (this is just my impression, not based on major knowledge) daycares were very institutional in design, in that there was not structured curriculum, it was really just about watching the kids during the day, the environment was not especially warm, a lot of them were government sponsored (which brings up a lot of other stereotypes for ppl) etc, - those who did work in a lot of communities used family, friends or sitters to watch their kids as a 'better' option, b/c it probably was in a lot of places in the 60s & 70s. I think those views of daycares as a sort of cold institutional type of environment, babysitting factory, kids just sitting around drooling, whatever, has just continued over time for some people, whether true or not, coupled w/ some of the news stories (though I feel like there are just as many bad nanny news stories, Louise Woodward was front page news for what seemed like forever, but ppl don't seem to be as struck by those stories). The sickness stuff probably doesn't help w/ that image & while we know it just comes w/ childhood, I think for a lot of ppl that is a big negative.
Like pp, my mom was VERY anti daycare as well...when she visited our DC a few times, she admitted to me that she was so surprised, and that she was very glad we went that way instead of a nanny & that she was also telling all her friends about what a wonderful environment it is. She happens to have a friend who had the same experience, but another friend who would never permit (so to speak, I dont know that she has uttered that word) her son to send his kid(s) to DC and watches him a few days a week instead... when they finally did send him somewhere a day or two a week b/c they wanted him to have socialization, her friend kept saying it was a 'school', I think to make herself feel better that it wasn't a 'daycare' (eek), since it was in a home & there were only like 5 or 6 two yr olds there. LOL.
So that was long, sorry. I just think it is very historical & stereotypes passed on over generations.
I used to work in DC centers (a long time ago) and that colored my view of them in a very bad way. I worked at "high end" and "low end" centers and they were all the same.
It was all a numbers game, moving children to different classrooms to have the lest amount of staff . Ratio was 1:4 so if you had 5 kids in one room and 6 kids in another, instead of having two teachers in each room they would move one child (usually either the oldest or youngest) to the room with 6 kids so they could only use 3 teachers. Moving children to a room they don't belong is not cool (esp since parents weren't notified and it was CLEAR that the management didn't want the parents to know).
They all served food and it was never what was on the schedule. It was frozen and canned food witch I thought was gross (and still do). Parents complained and of course it was the teachers that got the brunt of it.
I was working towards my education degree and made $8 an hour (even in my last year of school), if I remember correctly. I had to buy all of the supplies for my room (decorations, art supplies etc) because I felt that the kids needed more than what they were providing. I always pushed for my kids to do more things and instead of thanks for the great ideas it was "do the minimum, the kids will be fine".
Unfortunately it generally ends up being a thankless job and people get burned out (like I did) which results in a high turnover rate, and lack of consistency.
As I said it was a long time ago, and I think centers have improved much since then, but I can't get what I experienced out of my head.
I've always wanted to build and run the perfect day care center. As a class project we were given $30,000 to furnish a center and I have to say I did and awesome job... now if I can just find that money lying around somewhere...
I don't know why but this rubbed me the wrong way. Just like there are pros and cons to centers, there are pros and cons to nannies or having a family member babysit. There are PLENTY of posts on here expressing concerns about nanny care or family members who think they can overrule a parent's wishes.
If you work, there are compromises, period. I don't necessarily agree with the PP you're quoting either but it's wrong to paint all centers with a broad brush and say, "They all have issues," as if there aren't issues with other forms of care. If you're not with your kids 24/7 then you give up some control to the person you put in charge.
And if you want to spout anecdata, I've used two centers, including while I EBFed, and had absolutely no issues whatsoever.