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Oh BD...

twister22twister22 member
in Blended Families

Background: BD has DS(4) with me and DD(1) with XGF. BD and XGF recently broke up a few months ago and she went from allowing him to have DD EOW (Every Other Week) to E3W (Every 3rd Week). BD has DS EOWE (Every Other WeekEnd.)

BD actually requested to have DS every 3 weeks for 3 days instead of EOWE so that he would have his visits with DS and DD coincide. I told him that was fine, but he would need to take DS to gymnastics on those Thursdays. He said that would be great because then he would get to watch him. I told him he was welcome to come to any of them, it didn't have to be his time...

So he takes DS today and actually got there really early. As soon as I get there he stands up and says he has to run to the store but he'll be back before it's over and heads out with DD. Seriously? You're not even going to watch DS?

Luckily he got back with enough time to watch the last half of it. After class he says they'll be going to the local water park, and then asked if I wanted to take DS out to lunch, take him home to get a swim suit and sunscreen on, and then drop him off at the water park. Of course I said sure, and then he says "Great, now I won't have to pay for lunch!" Oh. Goodness.

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Re: Oh BD...

  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imagetwister22:

    Background: BD has DS(4) with me and DD(1) with XGF. BD and XGF recently broke up a few months ago and she went from allowing him to have DD EOW (Every Other Week) to E3W (Every 3rd Week). BD has DS EOWE (Every Other WeekEnd.)

    BD actually requested to have DS every 3 weeks for 3 days instead of EOWE so that he would have his visits with DS and DD coincide. I told him that was fine, but he would need to take DS to gymnastics on those Thursdays. He said that would be great because then he would get to watch him. I told him he was welcome to come to any of them, it didn't have to be his time...

    So he takes DS today and actually got there really early. As soon as I get there he stands up and says he has to run to the store but he'll be back before it's over and heads out with DD. Seriously? You're not even going to watch DS?

    Luckily he got back with enough time to watch the last half of it. After class he says they'll be going to the local water park, and then asked if I wanted to take DS out to lunch, take him home to get a swim suit and sunscreen on, and then drop him off at the water park. Of course I said sure, and then he says "Great, now I won't have to pay for lunch!" Oh. Goodness.

    wow. It is one thing to think it and another to actually say it.

    Is there a reason you feel the need to "help" BD while DS is with him? I'm not meaning to sound snarky, I'm just curious.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • twister22twister22 member
    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    imagetwister22:

    Background: BD has DS(4) with me and DD(1) with XGF. BD and XGF recently broke up a few months ago and she went from allowing him to have DD EOW (Every Other Week) to E3W (Every 3rd Week). BD has DS EOWE (Every Other WeekEnd.)

    BD actually requested to have DS every 3 weeks for 3 days instead of EOWE so that he would have his visits with DS and DD coincide. I told him that was fine, but he would need to take DS to gymnastics on those Thursdays. He said that would be great because then he would get to watch him. I told him he was welcome to come to any of them, it didn't have to be his time...

    So he takes DS today and actually got there really early. As soon as I get there he stands up and says he has to run to the store but he'll be back before it's over and heads out with DD. Seriously? You're not even going to watch DS?

    Luckily he got back with enough time to watch the last half of it. After class he says they'll be going to the local water park, and then asked if I wanted to take DS out to lunch, take him home to get a swim suit and sunscreen on, and then drop him off at the water park. Of course I said sure, and then he says "Great, now I won't have to pay for lunch!" Oh. Goodness.

    wow. It is one thing to think it and another to actually say it.

    Is there a reason you feel the need to "help" BD while DS is with him? I'm not meaning to sound snarky, I'm just curious.

    BD typically has DS 2 days at a time, but now he's doing 3 days. (Yes, I know, they're longer apart now too.) It's harder for me when he's gone longer. I know, I should probably just suck it up, but BD OFFERED the time and I wasn't going to say no! I don't feel a "need" to help BD, but, sadly, me giving DS lunch & putting sunscreen on him was the only way it was going to happen. I also took the opportunity to brush DS's teeth while I had him because his breath was awful and DS told me he hadn't brushed his teeth at BD's.. BD didn't give his DD lunch (I wish I was kidding..) and when I dropped DS off he asked to borrow my sunscreen so he could put some on his DD. He just doesn't know how to be a parent without help. I definitely don't go out of my way to do things for him, but when he does ask for things, I usually help. 

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  • ldmessingldmessing member
    my advice is to let the BD, be the BD, step back.  he won't let his kid starve or get seriously hurt. 
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    imageldmessing:
    my advice is to let the BD, be the BD, step back.  he won't let his kid starve or get seriously hurt. 

    He didn't feed his other kid.  Or go get sunscreen for her. Confused

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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