Pushing question

skyejo · August 2012

I had a natural labor with DD and I had a very hard, painful time during the pushing phase. When I was dilated to 9.5 my MW told me it was time to start pushing. I didn't feel the urge to push but was so disoriented that I went with her suggestion.

I tried a couple different positions (on my hands and knees and on my side) and finally ended up on my back. I pushed with my entire might and after 30 minutes DD was birthed.

Am I delusional to think that pushing should have been easier? Hypnobirthing made me feel like I could breath my baby down and not use a ton of force and energy to birth her but I had the complete opposite experience. I'm wondering if this was because I pushed before I felt the urge to or perhaps because of the position I was in.

I have a MW appointment next week and am going to bring it up then but wanted to hear some words of wisdom from you ladies first. TIA!

sschwege · August 2012

I did Hypnobirthing as well and had a wonderful experience. The only thing that didn't seem to work for me was the 'Birth Breathing.' I found that I either had to relax through the surges or all out push, I found the 'Birth Breathing' to be highly uncomfortable. Maybe I was just doing it wrong, I honestly don't know. But I guess my point is trust your body. I never felt a strong urge to push (my water never broke and that's probably part of the reason) so instead I labored DD down for 1.5+ hours instead of pushing. Then I finally decided I was ready to meet our baby so I started pushing. That was a lot of work, but felt good and right to me. I never did the 'purple pushing' so many women experience. I started pushing when I was ready & stopped when I was done. The only thing they asked was that I not push more than three times in a single surge.

So I guess I would just say do what feels right at the time.

Celyn · August 2012

Do you know what station the baby was at when you started pushing? Sometimes when the baby is up super high, then you don't feel an urge to push. In which case, you want to do some things to get the baby to come down. Pushing could be that, but there are other things that are easier. Most first time moms push for an hour or 2 (or 3 or 4). Birth breathing about patience and letting the uterus do the work, not racing to be done. If the nurse was urging you to get on with it, then birth breathing was not what she wanted you to do.

bandwife · August 2012

With DS I never consciously pushed. My body just took over and it happened in 3 or 4 contractions and very quickly. Probably too quickly. Wish I had had the time/wherewithal to slow it down.

About 40 mins prior I had a dilation check and they said I was complete. But my midwives didn't say start pushing, they said to just keep working through contractions and that the pushing would happen when it was ready to happen.

robyn2201 · August 2012

I never really felt like I had a strong urge to push. When I got to 10, my nurse said DD was still high and I could try and push her down. I just wanted to be done at the point and didn't want to wait so I pushed for about 30 min and got her down. That's when my Ob came in and it was another 30 min getting her fully out. It was hard but not really painful per say. We did the Bradley Method.

aylafsu88 · August 2012

skyejo:
Am I delusional to think that pushing should have been easier? Hypnobirthing made me feel like I could breath my baby down and not use a ton of force and energy to birth her but I had the complete opposite experience. I'm wondering if this was because I pushed before I felt the urge to or perhaps because of the position I was in.

I have a MW appointment next week and am going to bring it up then but wanted to hear some words of wisdom from you ladies first. TIA!

I had the same misconception that pushing would be alot easier than it really was (per our Bradley classes). In my labor I felt the urge to push and it was intense! I called the nurse in and she checked that I was fully dilated and the baby was very low. However, it was hard work! For some reason I thought the baby would easily descend into the birth canal and I would easily pop her out. In no way did this happen. I strained and it was really hard work. I delivered in the side position and did get a pretty bad tear because she had her hands on her face. I think that pushing is more work than we realize and sometimes these classes make it seem easier than it really is!

00jennifer00 · August 2012

I think it's quite possible that you just weren't ready to push. The baby might have been slightly misaligned, or up a little too high, or if you water was intact, it may have made it harder.

With my first, my water broke pre-labor. It was a mess of a hospital birth with an epi, so I couldn't really feel anything (except for a while when it felt like a sledgehammer was pounding on my right hip...I'm guessing that was him getting into position). When they checked me 4 hours after I was 2cm, I was complete. Gave a test push and was told to stop because he was coming OUT. It only took a few pushes for him to be born, and I think it's because he got to move all the way down without anyone telling me to push too soon.

With my second, I hit transition (and begged dh to take me for an epi...it was a homebirth). I decided to start pushing, but it was hard with the bag, so I pinched the bubble that was protruding and it gave such immense relief. She was out after just a few pushes. This time I was on hands and knees.

With my third, the little monster was posterior with a nuchal hand. Around 6cm (and 4 days into labor) I was desperate to be done, so I broke the bubble of water that was protruding and again, it helped some...but it also made the pain worse this time. He was born about 2h later, but after only a few pushes again. This time I pushed in a squat.

With my fourth, my water broke pre-labor again. Contractions came 20 hours later, and she was born 4 hours after that with just a few pushes (again, a nuchal hand! My kids hate me). I pushed leaning over the counter this time. It was different each time because I had to find the least uncomfortable position.

My bff's 3rd baby was an interesting labor. She labored to 10cm, but she didn't feel the urge to push. She waited it out, and prayed it out, and finally after 6h got the urge to push. He came out in just a few pushes. He was 9lb12oz and had a 15" head! She is confident that he just needed the time to maneuver and get lined up just right.

ridesbuttons · August 2012

Pushing was hard for me with DS1. Took 2 hours.

Pushing DS2 out took 3 pushes.

It'll likely be easier this time around.

hillbug1 · August 2012

I was 10 cm with a bulging bag of waters and little urge to push, I only remember "bearing down" one time, and it seemed mostly invouluntary. My son's head was out with the next contraction and all the way out on the next. I feel like I had it super easy, hoping to have as good of an expeiriance this time around.

barnwife · August 2012

Well, with J. I pushed for about 3 hours. It was tough work. As long as I was pushing I didn't notice the contractions though. It turned out his hand was by his face, which probably made him descending a little difficult. It took forever for me to develop the urge to push.

With A. I had a contraction that felt like a pushing contraction only at the end. The next contraction was definitely a pushing contraction. I told my MW I wanted to push. She said to go ahead. And 15 minutes later I was holding A.

BriDaily · August 2012

I definitely feel like you should have waited longer to push. You weren't even fully dilated yet! Don't get me wrong, that last stretch after transition can be tough. But I definitely do not think you needed to start pushing when you did. You should have been allowed to listen to your body and do what it told you to do, not listen to your midwife.

What kind of midwife did you have? Was it a nurse midwife or a CPM? I feel like they often treat the birthing process differently. Definitely keep in mind that nobody is perfect, maybe she was just really excited about your baby coming out soon and tried to rush things? But do not hesitate to let her know you felt rushed and you didn't feel the need to push when she was telling you to. In fact, I do not think the word "push" should even be used around a birthing woman. Your body will do what it needs to do and nobody saying "push" is going to help it! You should challenge your midwife to not use the word "push" any longer... if she does, she has to do a push-up!

perplexed59 · August 2012

I had the strong urge to push. I wasn't ready for it yet and I tried to cover it up hahaha. My midwife was trying to get some drugs into me (GBS+) and had been trying to get the iv started for at least an hour. I didn't want her to stress and to know how far along we were. I couldn't stop myself I had to push. It was hard work and it was hard for me to figure out how to push effectively and it took 45 mins of pushing for me. Once I had figured out an effective push she was out in under 10 mins. A lot of learning goes on during that phase.

laurack · August 2012

hmm wait, so pushing is not supposed to be hard?! I'm sorry I don't know anything about hynobirthing but I certainly wasn't "breathing" my baby down,lol ... I found pushing gruelling work and it took 3+ hours to get her out.

So I'd say from my perspective, it's normal to have a hard time pushing them out! But I've only had one so I'm not an expert.

skyejo · August 2012

Thanks for all the awesome stories. My water hadn't broken yet and I'm not sure what station the baby was at when I started to push. I was so ready to be done at that point that I think part of me was relieved when my MW said to push so I didn't even think to question it. Live and learn and hopefully I'll be able to listen to my body more this time around.

Nechie122 · August 2012

Pushing was worse than transition for me. I screamed with each push. It was horrible. Even though I'd do it again, it's the part that scares me most. And I barely tore!

So I think the bottom line is that everyone's experience is different.

goldene · August 2012

laurack:
hmm wait, so pushing is not supposed to be hard?! I'm sorry I don't know anything about hynobirthing but I certainly wasn't "breathing" my baby down,lol ... I found pushing gruelling work and it took 3+ hours to get her out.

So I'd say from my perspective, it's normal to have a hard time pushing them out! But I've only had one so I'm not an expert.

Lol, thank you. With my first I labored until 10 cm and had a cesarean birth (baby was a surprise breech). Just had a vbac three weeks ago and everyone had been telling me throughout pregnancy how pushing's not a big deal, it feels like a relief, etc. I thought it was going to be the easiest part. HA! The pain of contractions stopped but the intense feeling of being ripped open begins! I pushed for 1.5 hrs and it was work.

That said, I agree with those who say it's individual. Both times I went from water breaking to fully dilated in 4 hrs, so although my labors are intense, they're quick. This baby was also right occiput transverse and came out that way, which I'm learning is not the easiest.

CurbsideProphet · August 2012

I did not find pushing to be a relief. I also never had an overwhelming urge to push, so maybe I started pushing too soon. My midwife said I was completely dilated and could push if I wanted to. No one was really pressuring me to push though. I pushed for a little under two hours and did not tear. My doula seemed to think under two hours was pretty good for a FTM. I think pushing was the hardest part of the whole experience, but I only labor for 12 hours, including the time spent pushing.

annabelle.27 · August 2012

With DS2 (who was ideally positioned), I pushed only with the urge, let my body take control, and pushed in what position felt natural to me (which ended up being on my knees). I pushed for over an hour. This is typical for first-time moms (DS2 was my first vaginal birth)- 30 minutes seems fast, to me. It makes sense, to me, that it would be hard. You are shoving something the size of a watermelon through a hole used to accommodating a banana. Honestly, I'm surprised it happens at all, lol.

laurack · August 2012

easiest part my ass! The easy part was none of it, hahaha.

maddiemoon43 · August 2012

I pushed when I felt I needed to, and I certainly had no doubts when that was...and I pushed for 2.5 hours, in various positions, until I couldn't maintain them anymore and finished on my back.

nosoup4u · August 2012

I pushed 2.5 hours with my second son, and no, it wasn't easy. It was a relief to do something than sit through transition, but it was hard freaking work!

Waiting until the urge to push is stronger is a good plan, but I don't know if it'll make things seem "easier". Maybe Hypnobirthing gave you a false sense of how easy it was going to be, too (I'm not a Hypnobirther, though!). hth

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