Do you feel your local MoMs club is worth it?

lmydogally · August 2012

I'm not feel in my local MoM club. I feel like it's a constant solicitation for money or food or charity work. Every week there's a new post or two or three about sending someone food, money, help. I'm all for helping but I'm still in the trenches myself and really just have the energy to keep my household running smoothly. They host a few events a year but I have only been able to go to one. I also can't go to any meetings because they don't allow babies and my H works out of town most weeks. There is also a few queen bee's who run the club and I'm quickly getting the feeling that if you don't help one of them with her charity, you might as well not be in the club.

For those of you that belong to a local group, is this normal? What do you think you enjoy the most about your group?

I'm wondering if it's better once the multiples are older?

Kelli&Jed · August 2012

This sounds EXACTLY like my MoMs club. They meet monthly, I only went twice. I went when the boys were 12wks and again at 16wks but haven't been back since. Did not like the group at all. All I was looking for at that time was reassurance that it gets better, they do STTN eventually, you won't lose your mind...you know generally the kind of things you want to hear from other MoMs who have done it befoe you. Instead when I introduced myself to the group..."Hi I'm Kelli, my boys are 12weeks and I look forward to sleeping more than 2hrs at a time one day." a mom litterally said, "You think you have it hard now? Wait until they are 4yrs old." Seriously wanted to strangle a b!tch. Obviously forgot what the baby age was all about with twins...and every age has its challenges but the months of no sleep has got to be hands down the worst. Everyone in my group was very clicky, had a ton of queen bees,most of the ladies treated the MoMs club as ladies night out and they focused heavily on donations/charity/etc. I'm all about giving $ to worthy causes but they made you feel awful for not giving $. Seriously?! At the time we were going through about 30 +/- diapers a day...that adds up especially on one income!! Funny thing I noticed was that of the MoMs that were there their kids were 3 or older. I'm curious to hear what the MoMs of older twins have to say. I might give my group another chance now that I can sleep through the night but if I go I will FOR SURE try to talk to any MoMs with tiny babies to let them know they will survive the first year.

lmydogally · August 2012

So similar. That's what I noticed too, all the activities they put on that include kids are for ages 3-6. I think that's because when all the queen bees joined they had babies and now their kids are all about the same age. I keep thinking I should try and host infant activities or get more involved so I get more out of it but then I'm like "meh, I'm doing just fine on my own."

lmydogally · August 2012

I also find it weird that a MoM would pressure other MoMs to give money or even time when they have been there. Changing all these diapers, spending and arm and a leg on formula...I promise to never forget how hard the first months or year are.

arenglan · August 2012

*lurker*

I found a website called meetup.com and found local moms groups in my areas that are not the MoMs clubs. I've joined several and they range from $5 - $10 a year for dues. No one has solicited me for money, food, etc. and the events they hold are meeting at a children's museum, park, splash pad...places like that where my 1 and 2 year old kids have fun.

You should search meetup.com for groups in your area. Most of them are free the first month.

lmydogally · August 2012

yeah. no. but thanks.

MrsLnt · August 2012

lmydogally:
So similar. That's what I noticed too, all the activities they put on that include kids are for ages 3-6. I think that's because when all the queen bees joined they had babies and now their kids are all about the same age. I keep thinking I should try and host infant activities or get more involved so I get more out of it but then I'm like "meh, I'm doing just fine on my own."

This was my experience. Nothing for the under 2 set, and when I tried to go to things and keep the babies in the stroller, just so I could get out of the house, nobody showed up!. However, instead of charity solicitations, it was all about multi-level marketing pitches. No, thank you.

lmydogally · August 2012

MrsLnt:
lmydogally:
So similar. That's what I noticed too, all the activities they put on that include kids are for ages 3-6. I think that's because when all the queen bees joined they had babies and now their kids are all about the same age. I keep thinking I should try and host infant activities or get more involved so I get more out of it but then I'm like "meh, I'm doing just fine on my own."
This was my experience. Nothing for the under 2 set, and when I tried to go to things and keep the babies in the stroller, just so I could get out of the house, nobody showed up!. However, instead of charity solicitations, it was all about multi-level marketing pitches. No, thank you.

what no Body by Vi shakes for you?

MrsLnt · August 2012

lmydogally:
MrsLnt:
lmydogally:
So similar. That's what I noticed too, all the activities they put on that include kids are for ages 3-6. I think that's because when all the queen bees joined they had babies and now their kids are all about the same age. I keep thinking I should try and host infant activities or get more involved so I get more out of it but then I'm like "meh, I'm doing just fine on my own."
This was my experience. Nothing for the under 2 set, and when I tried to go to things and keep the babies in the stroller, just so I could get out of the house, nobody showed up!. However, instead of charity solicitations, it was all about multi-level marketing pitches. No, thank you.
what no Body by Vi shakes for you?

It was pitched as "I know we all have some of the leftover multiples weight..." No, sorry. I don't. I fear I'm going to get emails about this sort of thing for the rest of my life.

MelleTX · August 2012

lmydogally:
MrsLnt:
lmydogally:
So similar. That's what I noticed too, all the activities they put on that include kids are for ages 3-6. I think that's because when all the queen bees joined they had babies and now their kids are all about the same age. I keep thinking I should try and host infant activities or get more involved so I get more out of it but then I'm like "meh, I'm doing just fine on my own."
This was my experience. Nothing for the under 2 set, and when I tried to go to things and keep the babies in the stroller, just so I could get out of the house, nobody showed up!. However, instead of charity solicitations, it was all about multi-level marketing pitches. No, thank you.
what no Body by Vi shakes for you?

OMG. One of my friends is a Vi seller now and earned her BMW. Now she has two more of my friends working under her. I am about to die. I have had to block her facebook posts because that is all she ever posts about. I think I am safe while still pregnant, but I know that once these babies are a few months old, she will start the hard sell to me. And I do really need to lose a lot of weight, but NO.

Personally, I sell Mary Kay, but only for the discount because I use the products. I don't recruit and don't host parties. I pretty much feel like a "dealer" for all my friends who use it too. LOL.

Temp6313048411121614 · August 2012

Mine is worth it for the sale only. The sale is absolutely wonderful, but I've gotten absolutely NO support through my group. Nobody's interested in playdates, nobody want to "chat", it's very business-y, not personal at all in my experience.

brandonsarah · August 2012

I thought all the groups were like ours! So far, I've been really impressed. They have offered alot of support, I haven't been solicited for donations, etc and there seems to be a wide variety of activities.....

BuckeyeNut05 · August 2012

Oh, no! I quite literally emailed to request information on my local mothers of twins club yesterday afternoon before reading this. I hope this is not what it will be like. That is my nightmare.

amd1982 · August 2012

I just joined mine and haven't been to a meeting or anything yet because they take July and August off. It was $25 for the year which I was ok with. I guess the only thing that bugged me is that a friend of mine in Boston said that her MoM group only asked for dues from women who actually had their twins already, vs. those that are pregnant right now (usually join first year for free). But oh well, it's 25 bucks. no biggie. The other thing though was they only had two boxes to check - one for twins over age 5, and one for those under 5. Uhh, what about those being gestated? haha.

hopefully it will be a positive experience, but i'm not really one for groups. we'll see - everyone including my mom kept badgering me about it, so for 25 bucks and getting them off my back, it was worth it!

LuvWIfootball · August 2012

This post if freaking me out a little. I have my membership application and check in the mailbox right now. Fx that my local group is better than what has been mentioned.

macchiatto · August 2012

I've always been kind of on the fringes with mine. They do bring meals for new MoMs, and have a "New and Expecting Moms Night Out" once a month (though I think that's changed to just MNO) and I think they are fairly supportive BUT I've only been able to go to some of the peripheral activities like the MOM sale (and I have signed up to work the sale several times and consigned once or twice, and I always shop and spend lots of $$ ), the Fall Festival, and the My Gym play dates they used to do. So I've gradually gotten to know some members but I've never made it to one of the monthly meetings b/c of church activities that night. So sometimes when I go to something--especially the MoM sale--I get this distinct "Who are YOU?" vibe from a lot of the members rather than people coming up and trying to welcome the new person. Not a fan.

I am FB friends with several of them and we've gotten to know each other better from that so I'm hoping next time I go to something it'll be a little better. A lot of their stuff is kind of far from me since a lot of the members live on the opposite side of town so that doesn't help either.

macchiatto · August 2012

BuckeyeNut05:
Oh, no! I quite literally emailed to request information on my local mothers of twins club yesterday afternoon before reading this. I hope this is not what it will be like. That is my nightmare.

All groups are different so I'd say it's definitely worth a try. See if you can attend a meeting or two before paying dues. I think if I went to our monthly meetings I'd have a good experience; there are some really wonderful women in the group and a lot of support. (I can tell from talking to people who are more involved and also from being FB friends with some of them.) The Fall Festival and the My Gym play dates were wonderful; it was SO nice (especially that first year) to go to an event where my twins were totally the norm instead of the unusual ones, where double strollers abounded, especially since most of my mom friends at the time just had one baby so I always felt frazzled by comparison.

I remember a MoM on here explaining once that her group gets wary of people who basically just "use" the club for the sale and don't participate otherwise and I think that might be part of the dynamic with my group.

Breezy8407 · August 2012

I joined mine back in July because one of my neighbors with twin girls joined and said she found it helpful. So far I've only made a few posts on the message board. I haven't been to a meeting nor will I probably have time to make it to one anytime soon. They have had a lot of events that again, haven't been able to make it to.

I haven't gotten the impression that I will be solicited or annoyed with the queen bees ( i love that term) yet...but it's hard to get a feel for things over the 'net.

Eriksgal · August 2012

I liked the one I was in when I lived in TX-it was small and they were nice and welcoming and had a extra meeting for new moms which was nice to ask questions and trade advice. I joined the Denver MoMs group when I moved here and hated it. I went to one meeting and they were not welcoming at all. It only seemed to be about the two annual sales they have and was pretty cliquey. I decided not to renew my membership and instead joined a group for higher order multiples another triplet mom told me about...much nicer group and they still have sales if I want to participate in that.

chickaboo1974 · August 2012

My club is nothing like this. While yes children are not encouraged at the monthly meetings- since it is really a chance for most to get away atleast once a month. We are a non for profit- but our fundraising is thru our resale, a bake sale, and a couple of other outings that are first of all fun. This past year we donated over $7000 to children's charities in our area. This is not hey donate to this cause- it is more we are having a Candlelight Bowl- want to attend? Or the club receives 20% from your resale profits.

Monthly meetings are social, a small busines meeting, and then a guest speaker or another educational activity.

Most of my club are MOMs of under 5 year olds. We also have rules about how long someone can hold a position- 2 years. So that keeps people from being the Queen Bee. My club has been around since 1974- it is associated with the state and national MOTC. We also do not charge dues for stork moms- until their twins are 3 months old.

I am lucky that there are several clubs in the area that I live in- I think I chose the best fit for me.

kiwi443 · August 2012

I didn't even join mine because what I gathered from the website didn't impress me. They meet one evening a month and kids aren't welcome. To become a full-fledged member you need to participate in fundraising.

I've started my own unofficial MoMs club instead. I've gotten to know two ladies with toddlers and twin babies. We get together once a month (with all of our kids) and vent, laugh and sometimes cry. It's great.

lmydogally · August 2012

kiwi443:
I didn't even join mine because what I gathered from the website didn't impress me. They meet one evening a month and kids aren't welcome. To become a full-fledged member you need to participate in fundraising.

I've started my own unofficial MoMs club instead. I've gotten to know two ladies with toddlers and twin babies. We get together once a month (with all of our kids) and vent, laugh and sometimes cry. It's great.

I have bees debating doing the same.

Fancy3Face · August 2012

Ours isn't like that. We just moved to NC from CO and I never joined in Denver because I was afraid of what you are describing. Our local group is brand new and so we're all trying to get it up and running. I think working together is making most of us a lot closer than we might be in an established group with hundreds of members.

CER+MEL · August 2012

You might want to voice your concerns to one of those "queen bees" at some point. If your club wants newer members (which they should), your opinion could make a difference. Our club has been trying to make meetings more enjoyable with themed food and activities, more mom-to-mom conversation time, and so on. We've gotten a lot of younger members over the last year, so as one of the younger ones myself, I find it's been getting more and more fun and valuable. I love mine for the mom-to-mom sales, playdates, and parties, and think it's totally worth the dues.

CER+MEL · August 2012

I just want to add that I think a club not allowing kids or at least babies at meetings is ridiculous. We very rarely have any at our meetings because getting away is half the point, but it's totally acceptable. I love when new moms bring their babies!

MuseumMaven · August 2012

Our local club (New Mexico) is really great. Very active, very supportive, and strict rules about soliciting members with your at-home businesses.

We have tons of activities. We try to have a mix of playdates for different ages - for example, a zoo trip is great for any age, a trip to the local bouncy castle place is better for older ones.

We have monthly meetings, and babies are always welcome. We try to keep older (read disruptive) kids at home, but if they have to come they have to come. It's no big deal. We have special meetings for new MoMs (pregnant or young babies) before the monthly meetings.

Most of my local friends are people I met through the club, since I was pregnant when we moved here.

I'm really sorry that your club is a disappointment. Maybe you should get on the board and shake things up!

nikinikinine · August 2012

In my experience all "clubs" MoM or mom are a bit off. The people I met either were really clique-y or had wild, dirty, ill-mannered kids. They show up to free events and destroy other people's houses. Or they meet up and complain. It just wasn't for me.

The moms that I met that I regularly do play dates with/get together with are women I met at activities that I paid to bring my kids to -- mommy and me type classes. In each of these activities there has always been at least one mom that I connected with and we'd exchange info and meet up outside of class.

Anyway, my point is (if I even have one) don't feel bad if a club isn't for you. There are other ways to make mom friends!

groovygrl · August 2012

I didn't read them all but here's my take. I have belonged to 3 of them- 2 were in the same place but there was a large metro area one & a smaller regional one, then I moved & belong to a new one in my new location.

1. I don't do well at consignment sales (shopping or selling)but many ppl join purely for that reason & I can totally understand that (both to sell & to buy, seems like a great deal).

2. At all of mine, the most involved ppl (officers, coordinating things, participating in various activities) are those with kids over 3 or 4 yrs.

3. It is kind of nice during pregnancy if they have a pregnant mom subgroup jsut to talk twin pg stuff and maybe keep in touch after they're born.

4. Most ppl fall off the radar at those clubs once they have their twins until like a year and at that point, it is hit or miss depending on how it's going, etc.

5. I have only ever been to two meetings. I didn't find them helpful in the old place and haven' been in the new place. Like many organizations, I felt it was very clique-ish (not necessarily in some snobby way, just that there are groups of ppl who know each other well and tend to just hang out with each other).

6. The moms nights out where I live now are kind of nice- I met some ppl, gave me an excuse to go out to dinner & have a glass of wine...this would not have happened when my kids were babies though, nighttime was too crazy.

7. If yours has a really active internet presence/forums then it can be great- in my old location, that was the best thing for me out of joining, by far- I could ask twin, baby & non kid related things & always got quick & lots of answers. Where I live now, the message boards are minimally used & it is kind of disappointing. I don't know that I'll rejoin next year.

8. Where I have lived it is not very working mom friendly, a lot of weekday activities. I did occasionally do weekend holiday events and always thought surely we'd go & meet some people with kids around our kids' age & hit it off, etc and it never happened b/c you're just chasing your kid around or whatever. Old location or new. Oh well.

I know this sounds negative and I do think in theory they're a great idea & I'm sure a great support for those who have hte ability to get really involved, but it is not for everyone & each one will be different.

GL!

Want a personalized experience?

Do you feel your local MoMs club is worth it?

Re: Do you feel your local MoMs club is worth it?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards