Weaning a toddler (long)

barnwife · August 2012

I am coming out of lurking on this board because I have a question about weaning a toddler.

J. is turned 2 this month. He still nurses at least twice a day. He always asks to nurse immediately when he wakes up (both when he wakes in the morning and after his nap in the afternoon). He often asks to nurse at various other random times throughout the day. When he does, I try to distract him with cuddles or a snack or whatever.

When I say he asks, I mean he signs for nursing. J. still doesn't talk. Anyway, that's the sign he uses most consistently.

If I say no or try to distract him from nursing when he wakes up, he melts down. Even if DH gets him up, he will ask to nurse as soon as he sees me.

He's even been coming to me, pretending to sleep, and then wake up to sign for nursing.

I don't want to nurse more than twice a day anymore. Especially because I also BF A.

I am ready to stop nursing him. I am over tandem nursing. It's been wonderful, but I am starting to hate it. So I know I need to do something so I get back to enjoying BF. But the meltdowns when I say no to those 2 nursing sessions are epic.

If anyone has any ideas for how to go about dropping the last 2 nursing sessions of a toddler without tears or if there is a better place to post this, I'd love to hear it.

Thanks!

TiffanyBerry · August 2012

Well, you first said "I don't want to nurse more than twice a day any more". That would be the easiest way to go - let him nurse *only* after he sleeps. (I don't know about your LO, but the transition to waking up for my DD, especially from naps, is the hardest transition she deals with. It can easily take half an hour until she's ready to not be clingy. Nursing is really helpful for her to manage this transition more easily.)

But then you say you're ready to stop nursing him. And I think that will be harder. If you think he's having transitioning from sleeping to waking, you might drop which ever feed comes during the time that transition is easiest. Leave the other one for a while, and let him get used to the transition without nursing. And talk to him about it! My two year old doesn't like it when I say no (especially when she wants to nurse a second time in the middle of the night!), and she does cry some, but it's gotten better with time. I mean, she's sad. She'll cry. They cry over lots of things that make them sad, and sometimes that means melting down too. Not that I want her to do that, but sometimes they're so distraught, there isn't much you can do to help them except break the rules you've set, which isn't a good idea at all!

Good luck! I hope you can find a happy medium and a not-too-hard way out!

ncbelle · August 2012

I think it helps to remind yourself that he is going to be mad but that's different than being scared - sometimes tears can't be helped. I think it can also help to talk to him about what's going to happen - explain why you aren't nursing him anymore and what you are going to do instead.

I would cut out which ever session seems least important to him first. You can also limit the amount of time he nurses. Tell him "ok, two minutes" (or whatever amount you want) and then remind him when that time is almost up. Then offer some fun activity when time is up.

Callum weaned pretty easily (I think t helped that I was pregnant and didn't have much milk) but night weaning definitely involved angry tears - a few nights in though and he was totally fine. It's no fun to see them angry but it helps to remember that you are replacing nursing with another loving activity.

rosiemomma · August 2012

ncbelle:
You can also limit the amount of time he nurses. Tell him "ok, two minutes" (or whatever amount you want) and then remind him when that time is almost up. Then offer some fun activity when time is up.

This, you can sing a song or count but give plenty of warning when nursing is done. This would be the easiest in your situation, not to mention if his nursing cut down time you may be more comfortable with it... but if you don't cut the time down shorter and shorter until it is almost gone... don't expect this to happen in a week not likely even a month...

Want a personalized experience?

Weaning a toddler (long)

Re: Weaning a toddler (long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards