Throwing in the towel...already (EBFing)

HoneyBeeMel · August 2012

Babies are a week old tomorrow and I already feel like throwing in the towel on breast feeding. I have been tandem nursing since day one in the hospital without any problems. Now that we are home both babies are having latch issues. They cry to nurse all night long. I will nurse for hours at a time and they are not satisfied. I have been averaging about an hour of sleep a night since we have been home. On top of that I feel like I have no time for my toddler, who incidentally has coxsackie now (just something to add to it all). I BFed my daughter for a year and loved the bonding. I am so torn...

amye84 · August 2012

I just want to reach through this computer and give you a giant hug!! You are in the trenches mama and it WILL get better! Those first couple of weeks were the absolute worst and I didn't have another LO to run after. So give yourself a huge pat on the back for managing chaos Big Smile

I'm not going to tell you you have to BF, if quitting is what's best for you and your family (and your sanity!) then I support that decision 100%! However, I am going to encourage you to not quit on a bad day! I referred back to this advice too many times to count in the beginning when I thought about quitting approximately 1003848284 times per day. You have had a successful BFing relationship so you know the benefits. If you keep powering through this time it will be SO worth it! Do you have any friends/family who could take shifts and help out with holding/soothing babies? Nurse, swaddle tight, binky, and hand off to the standby person so you can get at least a couple hours of sleep! Newborns just want to be on the boob all the time. But you can do this!!

I hope it gets better quickly for you! You are an awesome mama not matter what!

HisBelovedPrincess · August 2012

what she ^ said!:) whatever you decide is best for your family, is the best decision....if it's to keep at it, then Hold tight, it's a bumpy ride at first..but it does get more manageable!:)

MrsOjoButtons · August 2012

The first couple weeks are SO hard with babies who haven't reached their due dates yet. One of mine was just like yours and he stopped latching. I pumped for him and after his due date, it all just clicked and he figured it out. I would encourage you to keep at it to see if they get it as they come closer to their due date, but if you and your babies are happier and calmer bottle feeding, then there's no harm in that. Many hugs to you. I know it's tough.

HoneyBeeMel · August 2012

Thank you all for your encouraging/supportive words. They mean so much right now.

KnithappyMama · August 2012

Wow, twins and a toddler, you are super mom! I've never nursed twins, but I successfully nursed 6 children, separately. I know it's not the same at all, but, well, nursing is hard, no matter how many you are working with, in the beginning. You do have resources at your disposal, a lactation specialist with your hospital or health department would be a first good start, or maybe find your local LeLeche league or an experienced nursing mom, to watch you nurse and give you tips. Sometimes just changing holds will help. Don't go through this alone.

Every baby is different. My first refused, I was sick and so we gave up, 2nd came out like he knew what he was doing, 3rd had to have breast in the mouth 24/7 or she screamed, #4 would only nurse 5 minutes at a time every 2 hours even at 6 months, (he was a chunky monkey, so he was well fed), #5 had to have a chiropractor adjustment, just so he could nurse without pain, #6 refused to suck and I had to pump the first 3 months, but then went on to nurse til 24 months and #7 was easy going the whole way through. What really matters right now, is how committed you are to the task. I was determined, because several of mine had milk allergies, one had both a milk and soy allergy, so formula was a big risk for us. #6 took all my time for the first 3 months,because he even had problems sucking from a bottle. I don't know that I could have made that same commitment with twins, you really just have to do what you can live with and let that be enough. I just wish I had known what I did with #'s 5 when I had #1. Five minutes with a chiropractor and we may have been successful. I didn't know where to turn and my health made ff the best answer at the time. It may be the best for you, but at least know you have somewhere to turn if you are determined to press on.

emilyec1 · August 2012

You totally have my support either way, but I wanted to ask have you used nipple shields? They helped my boys latch, otherwise there is no way I could have BF them coming home from the hospital. Just a thought! Hang in there!

tarajayne · August 2012

I don't have too many words of wisdom for you but I just wanted to say, I have been there and it is sooo hard. I threw in the towel after 6 weeks and really I was ready to after 1 also. Nipple shields did help us some but I could only do 1 at a time and never mastered tandem. Have you seen a LC at all? It may be worth a try to see if they can help with a latch and do a weigh and feed to see how much they are getting since they don't seem satisfied. Good luck, hang in there and either way like pp said, do what is best for you and your family! It is OK to quit.

brookith · August 2012

Just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are doing a great job! My boys are 8 weeks and we are still working on breastfeeding. It is not an easy road with twins and I give you so much credit for sticking it out with twins and another little one at home! Keep up the good work whatever path you choose.

Colorado Babies 12 · August 2012

I totally know how you feel! I have 2 other kids and then had the twins 4 months ago. I never had tandem nursing down but let me tell you what I did. I would painfully nurse one baby for 15 minutes and then give him formula right after and then feed the other baby on the other side and then supplement for him. Feedings were taking like 1.5 hrs! I went to the bf consult and we found out that both babies were tongue tied. We had that taken care of and bf became much easier because they could latch. However, because I didn't have all day to sit and nurse and build this huge supply, I had to change up the feedings.

I would nurse one baby at a feeding and supplement the other baby with formula or breast milk in a bottle that I pumped and then at the next feeding nurse the other baby and supplement the other. Always just swapping the baby at each feeding so I could still nurse both. This literally cut the time in half. I still pumped as much as I could and was able to make time for my older 2 kids. It was just impossible for me to nurse both babies all the time. If they were my only ones then maybe. I feel like with twins sometimes it's just an assembly line...feedings, diapers, baths. It's all very routine with small amounts of bonding.

I went back to work a few weeks ago and now my supply is way down. I stopped nursing and started on formula.

Don't be afraid to change it up and make things work for you. Breastfeeding is totally ideal but not always easy/convenient to make life work. Good luck.

ColleenS629 · August 2012

Love PPs advice and I totally agree! Have you thought about having an LC come out? I had different issues in the beginning, with one refusing to latch, but the LC helped me tremendously (much more than the ones I saw in the hospital). I had to use nipple shields for a little while but it helped us keep BFing through the hardest parts in the beginning. Good luck and know that you're doing what's best for your family either way.

GenieBK · August 2012

I'm right there with you! My girls are 5 weeks and we are just now getting somewhere with breastfeeding (born at 37 weeks, so 2 weeks after their due date). I've been pumping 24/7 and was about ready to just give up on breastfeeding and EP. Just this week they are FINALLY getting the hang of latching on. We're still having issues so I'm nursing and pumping and it's way harder than I ever thought. We tried nipple shields and it did help give them the ability to "latch", but I just didn't love using it. So we continued to bottle feed expressed breast milk while trying to put them to the breast and work on latching without the shield. I was SO happy this week when my littlest girl hopped right on the breast and sucked! I was convinced it wasn't going to happen. I think I'm still going to have a LC come out next week cause even though they nurse for awhile- they are still hungry after. Give it time! But don't feel guilty if it's not working out for you- happy/sane mom=happy babies and toddler! I can't imagine having another child to care for while having the twins...you really are a super mom!! good luck and you're not alone!

D&HMom · August 2012

I didn't ever attempt to nurse my twins. It was a choice I made and it worked 100% for us. But I do have a friend who did and she ff and bf and switched them up everyday so had an alternating schedule. it was important to her to nurse but she just couldn't get them both to do it. And her son was hungry all.the.time. He eventually preferred the bottle and then she just bf her daughter.

I know that bfing circles this kind of practice is not really accepted or encouraged but it worked for her. Just thought I would throw this out there if it is something that might help if bfing is really important to you.

bunny731 · August 2012

The bf bonding I had with my singleton I loved. The bf'ing I did with my twins I loathed-simply because it was eternally time consuming. In the beginning there were even times I was angered by the monotony (not at the children) of sitting on the couch and feeding, yet again.

All I can say is...I wish you the best of luck. These are hard times.

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