Need a bit of help here.... — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Need a bit of help here....

I don't post on here often, but am concerned. 

I picked DD up from school today (kindergarten)  and she was talking about another little girl not letting her sit next to her new friend in class. As the story progresses I hear dd say "white girls aren't allowed to come to my party". I asked her to repeat what she said, but she wouldn't. Yes, we are white. We are not a discriminating family and my children play with all kids.

Do I bring this up with her teacher? What do I do? I don't want my kids saying things like that.  

Re: Need a bit of help here....

  • I would. I would tell her you only got bits and pieces but wanted to see if she knew what happened and II she did not to make her aware in case anything was brewing. Obviously in a tone so she knows you want to resolve anything that can occur, not blame and that no matter what has happened in the past your DD could have come up with this on her own. Do you know if her friend is white or if the other kids are? Is it possible her friend is not white and the mean girl is? Could also mean the mean girl was wearing white. And who knows what happened, maybe the girl was not even trying to be mean.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Be careful here.  Sometimes 5 year olds aren't the most reliable reporters of what they saw, heard, did, or said during the day.  You might want to wait until you have more facts or more of a pattern to go on.

    Also, I found that in Kdg, my daughter had little awareness of racial difference and did not know that the terms "black" and "white" meant anything more than different colors of crayon.   

    Anyway, don't jump to conclusions that there's something to be concerned about.  This seems like a case of classic kindergarten social confusion, which is totally normal for kids this time of year.

    Maybe gently question your DD about what she means, then remind her that it's good to be friends with all different people. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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