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Adoption
Update on my crazy BM situation!
So, the first BM we talked to (the one from Arizona that wanted to move in with us)..her mom called us last night. I couldn't deal with it anymore so I let DH handle it. He talked to her for 30 minutes. BM's mom was very nice and you could tell she was trying to "clear things up" so that we will still consider adopting the baby. She said she'd look into some of the Native American stuff for us. Apparently she didn't know the BM had asked to move in with us. I thought she'd be stunned but though she seemed surprised, she made excuses for why she did that (their living situation is not great). The way DH left it was, "let's just take some time, you can explore other APs and we're going to continue exploring other BPs, but when she gets further along, maybe we can reconnect." So we'll see; I still don't think it feels right.
The second possible match, the one that is 8 months pregnant and only an hour away finally got back to us. She sent us an e-mail with more detail about her situation and asking us some questions. Everything truly sounds perfect, except one thing..she doesn't have insurance through her job and she makes just a little over the allowance to be eligible for Medicaid. I did a ton of research (even though I'm not even sure if she'll pick us) and found out there are quite a few great programs but none will be effective by her due date. I also got some costs from local hospitals and they do 30% discounts in situations like this so I think this is doable. I just hope BM is more on the ball with communicating with us so we can determine as quickly as possible if we're going to match..she's due in a few weeks!
Any advice for people who have experienced insurance/coverage issues when adopting in NC, feel free to send my way. Thanks!
Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010
DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal
3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs
IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN 
Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN
Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12!
Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12!
Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13!
Our Angel through Adoption
Our Little Miracle
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update on my crazy BM situation!
Near Raleigh.
No advice. Glad to hear the 1st situation will hopefully calm down.
FYI: I sent you a PM!!
How exciting for #2. FWIW, I think 30% off is high for a cash payor in a hospital. I think you should be able to negotiate a lower cash rate..... and that's fantastic if that could fit into your financials.
I do think I'd be blunt w/BM#2 and say that if you do work together, you'll need some time to figure out paying for her medical. She may not realize that waiting until the last minute may complicate her choicein PAPs. Some PAPs might not be willing to engage w/sorting through medical so close in.
Good luck.
PS- If you can, you may want to choose the title of your post. I am sure your intent isn't to call any birth mom crazy.... and with this being a public forum, it would suck if the any expectant mom read this and thought PAPs called BMs crazy.