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2nd Trimester
dande2129
member
well this is awkward....
dande2129
member
Classes started back up yesterday, and I attend a very large, mostly traditional university. (i.e, not many online classes, a lot of students 18-22) I'm slightly older than most, but look younger in general.
That being said... being obviously pregnant on campus is awkward. I wish that it wasn't, and I wish I didn't feel that way but when I pass people, I see them instantly looking down at my belly. I don't know if I'm being judged simply because I'm a pregnant student, or if they think I should be on Teen Mom or something of the like. It's like no one has seen an expectant mother.
I know I shouldn't care what they think, or care in general, but it still just kind of sucks. And granted, it's not EVERYONE. It's not like I'm a walking freak show, but there's the handful that do the above mentioned and that's enough. It's also back to being 90, so no sweatshirts to cover it up either.
Suggestions on how to mentally block them out?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: well this is awkward....
Oh man, I can relate. I'm not a student at a university, but I work at one as an advisor and I look pretty young for my age also. I swear though, walking across campus you'd think they'd never seen a pregnant person before. Honestly, I just have to remind myself that a lot of these kids are still kind of ignorant when it comes to common courtesy. I know that sounds terrible, but it just reminds me to raise my child not to be like that.
I'm sorry it's rough though. You can also buy a t-shirt that says, "Yes I'm pregnant, no, I'm not 16, and yes, it was intentional. Now please stop staring."
No suggestions, just empathy.
I am 26 but I guess I look younger, because I always feel like people see me toting a toddler around and having a pregnant belly and judge me (especially when I'm not with my husband). My engagement ring and one of my anniversary bands don't fit anymore (fingers swelling), so I only have one anniversary band that still fits and I can wear. I always feel like people are looking at my fingers and belly. It sounds so silly, but I can't help it. I just want to scream and say, "I'm an adult! A married adult! And I get to stay home! Quit judging!" Ha!
This is also a good idea.
I am 29, but have been told I look younger. Sometimes when I am out and forgot to put on my wedding ring, I see people look at my belly then to my empty left hand. It makes me feel weird for like a second, but then I remember that I don't know these people and they will probably forget all about me in a minute.
You know your situation and I would say, go about your business, work hard and graduate for your kids and don't worry about the stares.
lol...That would work too
Bahahaha!
This is true too! Or some of the girls will look at my horrified and think, "Oh dear God... she probably got KTFU at some party when she was super wasted. I hope that doesn't happen to ME!" As if the only possible reason for a college student to be pregnant is if it were a total accident and I had to wrestle with whether to get an abortion or not.
...but that's also me judging their reactions, so hi, I'm Pot.
I saw another pregnant girl when I was walking, and I thought quickly to myself, "A fellow bumpie!" There were two guys walking in front of me that saw her first and I literally heard them whisper under their breath, "Is she PREGNANT?"
I searched their necks for the pearls they were clutching.
Ignore it. It's their problem not yours. You're going to be a great mother of a happy, healthy baby.
I am 30 but look about 18 in real life so I get the looks too. It does get on my nerves but there's nothing to do about it. I just look fwd to the future and meeting my first baby in November.
Hang in there!
Also my wedding right doesn't fit anymore. I bought a good looking cheapie one but it's getting tight now too! I just keep in my lots of pregnant women cannot wear their rings and it's no one's business!
Oh the scandal of someone being KU and in college.
How ever will they be able to focus on the task at hand?!
Ugh, I feel ya. I had DD as a sophomore in college, so I WAS young and unmarried. I did feel sometimes that people were staring, but I went to Ohio State (about 50,000 students) so pregnant students weren't all that uncommon. I seemed to get the most looks from girls who were my same age and obviously in the party stage of life (nothing wrong with that, just not where I was at the time).
Be proud of who you are. Even if you WERE a young mom still in college - so? I'd think more of a woman who kept on that track. Maybe they're thinking good things, like, "Wow, look at her! She's pregnant and still going to school - that must be tiring!"
FWIW, I still feel like people stare now that I'm in my 30s, married, and pregnant. I think pregnant women in general are just stared at more than the average woman.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
I remember being in college and it's true, when I saw a pregnant student I was a bit taken aback because it wasn't all that common, even in my very diverse school of Umass Boston. I will admit that I was looking A) because how can you not when it's just so obvious
I was SOO jealous !! C) I was wondering what they're doing still in school when they could pop at any second lol.
But in terms of ignoring it, you really just need to be like, well, I'm an adult, I don't know these people and they can buzz off. I'm not big enough yet where I'm getting the belly stares but I was TOTALLY a belly starer because I've always been so jealous and now it's me so yay!
But anyway, there's nothing you can do about it but change your perspective of the situation and maybe it gives you a slight glimpse into the lives of special needs people and things like that where you can just be grateful for being so blessed in so many ways.
Wow, judgmental. Maybe they just weren't sure whether she was pregnant or fat.
Why is everyone assuming that they are being judged when someone looks at their belly? Is it hormones racing out of control????
For the most part YOU ARE NOT BEING JUDGED. People just look. It's not something they see everyday. Get over it.
I think too that sometimes, people's automatic reaction when they see a pregnant person is to look at the bump. I notice people at work who know that I am pregnant, of a "socially appropriate" age to have a child, and married looking at my bump too when they talk to me. I think it just kind of fascinates people.
Repeat after me:
I am fit and fabulous and getting my education on. FUCKUM
Hysterical!
So if they thought she was fat and not pregnant, it would have been ok t stare at her?
Neither of these are acceptable reasons to stare at or guess about any woman in any situation.
Do you regularly hear men ask each other whether the girl was pregnant or just fat?
And in a sense, asking the question "pregnant or fat" is them judging, either way. But okay.
Obviously, per my previous response, this is what I agree with.
I don't think that everyone girl/guy who looks at my belly is judging me. Sometimes I get the sense that they may just very well be curious, but have the class to not stop me and ask about the fetus currently occupying my uterus. In a different setting (i.e, maybe in the classroom) I wouldn't be offended if someone were to ask me a question. It's the side eye that gets me.