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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
can I have just one minute to myself?
I know this is an unrealistic question when your a mom,wife,lover,teacher,house keeper,chef,laundry lady and do everything else under the sun. But seriously, I'm about to pull my freaking hair out.
DD follows me into the bathroom, If i close the door she'll scream. I try to sneak away while shes playing and its like she had a radar in the bathroom comes crawling/screaming.
She is always at my feet, pulling on my legs for me to pick her up. Pulling my pants down in the process.
When shes playing on the floor, I HAVE to sit on the floor with her. She doesn't even need me to play with her, she just wants me to sit there. Not saying that I dont play with here but she could care less if I did or not. I just have to be on the floor.
She only sleeps for 30mins and that's my only time to wash bottles or start a load of laundry and do other thing just to maintain my house.
By the time DH gets home shes getting out of the bath and then bed time.. So its not even like I can get a min. while he's home. We have tried having him do bed time routine but she wont have it. Daddy's just for play..
I know shes cutting another tooth but this was happening before the teething..She is starting to learn to walk, so maybe the new independence has something to do with it?
Please tell me this is just a phase..
I'm having medical issues and am very stressed about that and with her being so needy I find myself very frustrated and dont want to to take it out on her. If I could understand why she's being like this I would be able to deal with it better..
Any suggestions on why? or how to get her to not be at my feet 24/7 ?
TIA
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Re: can I have just one minute to myself?
Wow, that sounds really tough! I don't have any kind of miracle cure for you, but a few suggestions you could try:
- Play "separation" games, like peek a boo from behind a sheet. She'll learn that you're there, even if she can't see you. Then start to make it more distance, until you can play from around the corner, or from another room.
- Have some sort of safe place for her to play when you do need to be out of sight - I have a pack and play set up with ball pit balls for him. I give him his bink, and he'll stand and throw the balls out, one by one. It can usually buy me anywhere from 10-20 minutes. I don't like to use the crib because he associates it with sleeping, not playing.
I would try to work on only one or two things at a time, like you HAVING to be on the floor with her. Have a pile of toys up on the couch where you're sitting, and give her each one as she comes for it.
If she only naps for 30 minutes, I wouldn't use that time for bottles or laundry - that could be done while DH plays with her when he's home, or after she's in bed. I would need a break to myself then! I would also really work with her on having daddy do the bedtime routine, at least the diaper, lotion, pajamas, story aspect of it, and maybe you come in to nurse or for the bottle (that would give you around 15 mins or so).
9 months is when separation anxiety tends to kick in hard core. It's just a phase. I'd be patient. They become more and more independent without any encouragement from you.
I'd also work on getting those naps to be longer. 30 minutes isn't really even a full sleep cycle, so she's probably overtired which would make her clingier.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
Sorry that this is happening. For some this is a phase.
If you want Dad to do the bedtime routine have him there with you for a week or longer. During that time have him do more and more so that she gets use to him doing it.Towards the end disappear to the next room for a short time (a few seconds to start then longer.)
As for her playing on her own, you can try putting distance between you and reassure her that yes you are still there. This too will take time.
I still have my kids hanging out in the kitchen when I cook. If nothing else place her in her highchair with a toy or two.
I agree with all of this. Exactly what I would have suggested.
I do try to do some chores while DS is awake so I can sometimes take a little break while he naps.
Maybe try putting the pack n play right next to you while your are washing bottles/doing dishes/cleaning in kitchen and still interact with her. Also I bring DS into the laundry room with me. He likes looking into the dryer while I pull stuff out and put stuff in. Then sometimes I'll just fold the laundry on the floor next to him while he 'helps' me.
If your DH doesn't get home too late have him at least do the bath, that will give you a few minutes to yourself. Then you can finish up the bedtime routine if she isn't having it with daddy.