Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
hlke
member
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
My online involvement isn't restricted to LGBT families but K welcomes it. At first she thought I was crazy but she has met all of the local ladies now and has met all of the ladies on this board that I've met IRL. She has no issue with, it's just not her thing. And she trusts me and knows what sorts of boundaries I set for my online life.
My parents are in town visiting until the end of the week (from Arizona). And my parents, especially my mom got sick. At first it was a cold but now it's developed into laryngitis.
I have been so careful to keep little K away, while still visiting with them. Meaning my parents haven't held him in days... I feel bad but I'm afraid he will get sick and at not quite 6 weeks old - that wouldn't be good. Not sure how to best parent here - I just found out about the laryngitis this morning... My mom offered to bring by lunch and to pick up things to make dinner at our house... K and I will be on our own the rest of the day.
I'm EBF so I think that helps with providing antibodies... Right now I'm Googling how to protect him... Then again maybe I'm totally blowing this out of proportion....
PCP = I am dealing with this heart thing and it just compounding my want to have a biological child even more now. I suppose the whole thought of my life flashing before me thing is kicking me real good- however, it has not change my thought of BIRTHING. Kinda odd eh !
TTC = i could rob a bank... thne we could go forward but I had a crazy dream where i asked a Male couple we know who want another baby as well and the plan went like this : we could harvest my eggs give them hald and M will surrogate for them - WIN WIN so now I am just obsessing over this !
ATP = OMG - these girls are KILLING US ... KILLING US .. so bad ok not so bad but the not knowing what they want and their gruntd and frusteration with lack of communication and baby signs are not working and the teeth HUGE HUGE TEETH these kids are growing is even making my head spin. M and I need a break the kids LOVE THEM but honest BEAST - ok maybe not that bad.. I always feel horrible when i say i think they are horrible .. does that go away -
QOTD: What does your spouse/partner think of your involvement in an online community for other LGBT families?
She I think secretly wishes she was more active and more extrovert-y. She loves that I do it - so i dont have to spaz out on her. i just update her on what i post but she checks and post occasionally.
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
Still working on sleep issues - it is getting better, and now that we are letting them sleep for as long as they want after the 10pm feeding they seem to be happier in the morning, which is awesome. (They usually are back down between 10:30 and 10:45p and sleep until 2:45-3:15a.) Late afternoon/early evening is still grumpy time, we're going to try (again) to move their bedtime back. It didn't work last time but they are a little older now, so maybe. Still having fun watching them be engaged with books and really look at the pictures - that is great. I wish they could sit up on their own, they both want to sooooo badly and we spend a lot of time holding them upright in our laps since they love it.
QOTD: She likes the advice and funny stories I get from it. In general she's less concerned about online privacy than I am, so that isn't an issue.
Ky's arm was given the clear and she is being her crazy two year old self. It amazes me that I can actually carry on a conversation with her and it is legitimate not just one or two words or me prompting her. She has also started singing to herself randomly. It goes something like this, "twinkle twinkle little star now I know I know my a b c next time sing with me". She tells me everything is green which drives me crazy since we have been working on colors for months now lol. She did surprise me the other day by coming up, pointing to the print on my pj pants and telling me I had pretty stars on. Come on kid you cannot tell me circle or square but you have star down?
QOTD: My ex thought I was a little weird. She has no problems making friends and talking to people IRL though. I, however, am a terrible introvert but I am ok online talking to people...
C thought(/thinks?) it's a bit odd, but she knows I value community of tlal types and this is just one form for me. She knows that I've "known" many of you for about 6 years (!!!). Also, the fact that I we got a wedding gift from the group (back in the knot days) and that I've met up with folks makes it less weird.
PCP: The other night we talked about TTC timeline. I'll be 30 in 6 months, so I'd like to start before/on/around my birthday. This will depend on a few factors though. C wants/needs to increase to FT (right now she's doing PT work and freelance) and I'd like to have something a bit more stable (maybe PT work and no on-call). There's also a chance I may go back to DC for more clinical hours, in which case that would most likely be January, or late March-May, which would interfere with ttc those months. So still up in the air, but we have an idea of when might work and some goals between now and then.
TTC - first at home insem for me - rec'd confirmation that we failed this time around today. Decided to try again at home next cycle, and if we fail once again we'll explore other options.
ATP - i rec'd the ladybug rocker that i'd ordered for P's bday today - im in love with it, she seems quite fond a the tag that came on it
QOTD - D loves my involvement. we both look online for answers to questions, support etc. our lgbt community base here in boston is pretty much non existent so sources like these are much appreciated
I'm not really sure where I fall in the PCP/TTC/ATP terms but right now we are just waiting until our next appointment on Sept 10th. I will be a little over 16 weeks so we may be able to find out what these little buggers are! We are almost done with our registries!
QOTD - I think M hates it. I make sure when she is home the computer is off and I also don't talk about the board much. She is an incredibly private person and very introverted. I really want to get involved with our local LGBT parenting group and so far that has been a no go as she won't know anyone. I know on some level she thinks of this board differently as we are such as small group and LGBT group. On the flip side I finally got her to be involved in one of my FB groups my bff invited me to that is parenting focused. I am hoping one day she will become involved here with me but until then she will be referred to as M and I will be very careful of the personal information I share about her.
06/12 - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 15dpo - 256
Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
EDD 02/21/13
09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks.
PCP: With our move, we are slowly saving money... and I mean sllloooowwwlllyy! Tomorrow is H's birthday so I set a little aside for that. I got her an angry birds cake (complete with sling shot) and a video game she's been begging for forever. Her last pool leagues is tomorrow night, so I took the night off to celebrate with her.
The little 8month old I watch yelled "MAMA!" at me today... cutest thing ever! She is pulling herself up on the furniture and crawls fastest than I've ever seen.
QOTD: H thinks a board like this is cool. Even though we are not TTC yet, it is nice to hear about people who are going through what we will be. I show H some of the posts on here and sometimes we both say "that's how we feel!" I'm so glad there are ladies that are so open about their journeys!
PCP: We have our first RE appointment on Sept 5th, extremely nervous for some reason. Maybe just the idea of actually getting closer to the goal gives me butterflies. DH has been looking at baby stuff when we were shopping, kinda newish for him to look past the "getting a baby" to "having a baby".
QOTD: DH doesn't mind, because I've taken advice from the boards and it's gotten us to where we are. A few months ago when we decided sometimes this year we wanted to try I hit the boards, asked questions and prepared as much as I could. With the advice, I've gotten as far as I can without an RE so now were moving onto that step.
Me: Witty Comical Southern Girly,Relocated To Wonderful Seattle.
DH: Charming Introvert, Perfect father material.
9/5 First Re Appointment: Good to go on next cycle!
Waiting October IUI, Wish me luck!
Causes I support: GLBT Rights, Children Rights, Animal rights.
TTC:- I took my last two Femara/Letrozole pills today. I have acupuncture on Friday, an ultrasound on Tuesday morning, and hopefully on Thursday or Friday next week we'll be doing our 4th IUI. Very exciting times
QOTD:- I think she likes that it means that I get my neuroses out somewhere else. She's not a talker and doesn't understand talking about things. This board is a great outlet for me in that sense. I am far more careful than she is with online privacy, so that isn't a concern for her. The only thing that irritates her is that I have a habit of showing her all the cute baby pictures - and her response is normally, 'Only our baby will be interesting to me'. She's a funny old fish
ATP - it has been a good week in our house! The kids are wrapping up camp and we are ready to go on vacation before school starts. Everyone has generally had good behavior and things are just rolling along.
QOTD: L is fine with it. She's met a few people from various boards I am on (both LGBT and non-LGBT) and realized that normal people do go on boards to socialize.
She would never do it, but I think it has more to do with her crazy busy schedule/lack of free time, her age, and that she is a total introvert.
Cycle is chugging along. The RE we happened to hit on Monday wanted to delay IUI until follicles were bigger than usual. We're nervous about it, but going with it.
QOTD: You guys are not my first online friends, so it's no surprise to her. She reads here sometimes but doesn't post because it's "my thing," but she also has online communities she follows.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
What size are they typically looking for? Our always told us that 16 is mature, I'm just curious what other RE's use.
IUI #2 (100 mg clomid and HCG trigger) - BFN
IUI #3 (Gonal-f and HCG trigger) - BFN
IVF #1 - 21 retrieved, 20 mature, 15 fertilized (ICSI), 2 d5 blasts transferred, 8 frozen - c/p
FET #1 - BFFN
FET #2 - BFN? c/p? Either way no baby
FET #3 - No shock...BFN
FET #4 - BFN :-(
Surgery and TTC cancelled - pursuing surrogacy
7/31/12 Surrogate got a +HPT!!!!
It makes a difference whether it's a natural cycle, oral med cycle, or injectible cycle. Most REs (from what I've read on the internet and several I've interacted with at our RE practice) will trigger after oral meds around 18-20mm or so. From what I've read women usually ovulate on a natural cycle in the lower 20's. Injectible cycles you're mature in the upper teens. (Keeping in mind of course that your follies keep growing between trigger and ovulation.) Clomid apparently is known to cause ovulation without trigger a bit larger than in natural cycles. The RE we saw this week felt we should wait until closer to what would be my natural LH surge post-Clomid - i.e. mid or even high 20's.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
ATP: One week of Zucchini here full time and I cleaned for two hours after the kids went to bed, and then we fist-bumped. It feels pretty normal. Mood swings, (all three of them) but they are doing great.
Pumpkin has terrible allergies and his not-great sleep has been terrible. Feeds twice/night on a good night, then up a ton more. And he's been doing 2 or 3 half hour naps all day. That's it.
QOTD: She likes that I have somewhere else to go and have adult conversation, and after many years, views you all as "real people" now.
fantastic!!
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
This.
Also, she has her own on-line communities that she is a part of, so I think she gets the value. I would anticipate that as we get farther down this road, and the actual human baby shows up and is in our house, she may reach out to a similar (or maybe the same) group as well.
Today I have a lime-sized being in my uterus. I'm pretty stoked about that!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!