Twins + 3 year old toddler

sbg · August 2012

I am expecting twins in December, and I am very anxious about how I am going to take care of a 3 year old and 2 newborns. Realistically, how much help will I need in the beginning? My son will be in school 3 mornings a week. My husband can take off work for the first 2 weeks. I didn't deal with lack of sleep very well when my son was born.

Thanks!

neckrcx2 · August 2012

my DD was 2.5 years old when my boys were born and I still sent her to the babysitter for the whole day and then i would go and pick her up around 3pm. Is that an option? i know you said he would be in school in the mornings but could someone else watch him after school let out? i would have went crazy if i had to have all 3 home by myself in the beginning plus my boys were in the nicu for 18 days so it was so nice to have someone watch her while i was at the hospital all day everyday. my husband only got 1 week off so he wasnt there when we finally brought the babies home. Good Luck to you!!

WhiteysWifey · August 2012

DD was 2 when our triplets were born. I had help sometimes, but mostly it was just me. If you're having to get the babies and your LO out of the house and someplace in the morning, then you might want help on those days, just so that you're not getting stressed.

Jen0204 · August 2012

A friend of mine had twins in March and her DD just turned 3. The twins had about a month of NICU time so she was very stressed with trying to spend enough time in the NICU and at home. Her mom came out for a couple of weeks when they were born, went home for a couple of weeks, and was back for a couple of weeks when they were able to go home. Her H took off for a week when her mom went home. Her DD goes to preschool 3 mornings a week.

It definitely was stressful for her in the beginning but now she's got a good routine down. She even goes to the store and out with all 3 a lot, which is more then I can say!

tootlebug · August 2012

I got and still have a nanny 3x a week. Best money ever spent

GypsyEsq · August 2012

Our oldest is three...honestly it's not been easy. My husband is a SAHD so while I'm on leave we're both here with all three kiddos and even so we've needed my parents around almost daily to help with older DD and manage the house. It's just not feasible to EBF the twins and also pay enough attention to my daughter without parking her in front of the TV all day long. She gets so bored and then starts acting out - which I totally understand - so we have my parents take her to inside play places (bounce house, McDs, etc...) as often as possible. I'm also able to feed the babies and then have my parents sit with them while we take DD for an ice cream treat, or lunch, or something fun just one on one.

Rangergal9 · August 2012

My older DD was 21 months when the twins were born. Things would have been a lot easier if she were older at that time, but we managed. We kept her in daycare full time and that really helped because I was able to nap while the twins napped. My DH was off the first two weeks and then I had my MIL help the week after. The biggest help my MIL did was picking up DD and taking her to and from daycare for me. Having the twins home by myself was actually pretty easy since all they did was eat and sleep. I managed fine after 3 weeks, you just have to get into a good routine!

bellewife1028 · August 2012

My dd just turned 4 when the girls were born. I was taking them with me to drop her off at school and gymnastics since they were 2 weeks. You get used to it, just make sure they are fed before you leave the house. I have to leave the house everyday or else my 4 yr old and I will pull each others hair out. I also get up with the twins throughout the night, so I am very sleep deprived. That makes me even more impatient and short tempered with my DD. sorry wish I had answers. Good luck!

bellewife1028 · August 2012

Oh and I was on bed rest for three weeks before they were born so my mom and mil did everything cook, clean, take dd to school, give her baths. So after they were born I was so happy to be off bed rest and felt bad asking for more help. I needed it more after they were born.

kiwi443 · August 2012

My son was 2y4m when the girls were born. It was a rough transition for him. I think having your older child at preschool 3x a week will be really, really helpful (for both of you). I would accept any and all offers of help for the first month after the babies arrive.

MrsCali_Bride · August 2012

Our son was 4.5 when the twins were born. My husband took the first 2 weeks off and then I was home with them by myself after that. I've never had any extra help. Would it be nice to have someone to help? Sure, but it isn't a necessity.

ougrad1 · August 2012

Honestly, the first several weeks when they are sleeping is when you are going to need the least help, IMO. It's when they start waking and stay awake a bit is when you're going to need the most help.

Can you get your mom, dad, brother, sister, MIL to come over during the day the first several weeks to a month and let your H take a week off after that and then maybe around two or three months old, he take the second week off?

You will need help. I had my housekeeper come and sit with me from about five pm until seven because that was the hardest part of the day for me.

Spread out anybody that asks to help. Don't let everyone come over at once and only in the beginning.

ETA-I also had Emerson in school from 8:30 to 2:45 everyday for the first six months.

You have to allow yourself some down time to sleep while the babies are sleeping. You won't be able to do that with you toddler wanting your attention while the babies are napping.

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