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Adoption
greenteabee
member
Hmm
greenteabee
member
in Adoption
I called the other couple that I liked at first glance, and they automatically wanted to set up an appointment for tomorrow, and I don't know, it seemed a little, sudden, I guess? Don't couples like to think about it at all? I don't know if I just feel a little off right now or what... I'm just not sure what to think right now!
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Re: Hmm
I don't think it is odd or sudden, but I can see why it would seem that way. From their perspective, they have probably been waiting awhile to get this kind of phone call and are just really excited at the possibility.
I would reserve judgment until you meet them, if you feel okay going that far. It seems as though you are making this decision very carefully and not rushing into anything, and I am praying for you! GL!
Sorry - having trouble with my post. Are you working with an agency or are you searching for waiting couples on your own? I'm asking because in our case, our agency would work with expectant parents and encourage them to choose an adoptive couple later on in the pregnancy. In our case dd's birthmom chose our profile when she was about 6 months along. We got "the call" and that meant that she had chosen us/our profile. It meant that we were matched with her.
If you are calling adoptive parents, I would think that they might be thinking it's "the call" as well. And if they are getting the call, they are going to want to meet you as soon as possible (in most cases.) They may be extremely anxious and I'm guessing super excited and want to meet up as soon as they can. If they are a 'match' for what you are looking for andyou are a match for what they are looking for, they are not going to want to wait for long, kwim?
I would meet them or talk with them if you want to, but be up front with them that you are still considering other couples.
If you can think of it in a different light... like...
Ah, imagine your birthday is coming up, maybe a month away and you're going to have a big party: cake, all your friends, presents, lots of fun. And then you're given the choice to have your birthday tomorrow... Wouldn't you want to have it tomorrow?
That's a really imperfect illustration since who knows how long they've been waiting for a call like that, and who knows when they will actually get to adopt.
I know it's kind of scary to be in this process - you don't want someone to fake a relationship with you just to "get your baby." But you'd want LOs' parents to be excited about parenting them, right?
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
I agree it's up to the original poster if she wants to meet up with them. I would definitely tell them what you would like to happen -- if you just want to talk more on the phone at this point, if you want to talk/email, or if you want to meet up. You can get to know them whatever way you choose.
From a PAPs perspective, we are waiting and hoping and probably praying for an expectant mom to want ot meet with us... so to get a call is so exciting... and to have to wait is torture
I think it's a great sign for a couple to be overly ambitious and excited to meet.
That said, if they made you uncomfortable w/the way they asked or if they seemed pushy about it, do take note. That's part of their personality that you'd have to live with in an open adoption. Not sure if thats the case... but when things don't sit well with you, jot it down. A face to face meeting will help you know if there personality is right for you or not.
The whole process is so strange... and know that your choice is valid no matter what... you want an open arrangement so choose accordingly. Find people that gel with you.
And here's hoping you found them and your meeting goes well!!
*This* Our agency worked the same way, Birthparents picked us when she was 32 weeks pregnant but we didn't get "the call" until she was 34 weeks. That gave them a couple of weeks to sit with their desicion before getting our hopes up. I appreciated that.