My Cousin's Baby (pretty long)

Bridgarn · April 2012

So my cousin and his wife have a little girl. She is almost exactly 1 month younger than my son. Anyways, after my cousin cut his arms, his wife left him for a known drug addict (both of them do drugs as well). My cousin began dating this girl (barely 18) who is calling herself "mama" in front of the baby. Well, the mom decided to keep the baby away from her dad. Dhs has been called on her numerous times for multiple reasons. Well, the dad finally got to see her and found drugs in the baby's carseat. He tried to get custody (pretty much to hurt the mom). They were given joint custody.Well, the mom is harassing the dad and his gf on facebook and is having her bf's friends follow him around town, stalking him. Honestly, I don't care what they do. I just care about the baby. My husband and I have already talked about it, and we've decided that we want custody of her. We really just don't know how to go about it or who to talk to. I really need advice. I know that if we go through with this, its going to split my family. And, I'm not saying that we have the perfect set-up or anything, but we can offer her a stable and loving family. Help, please!

Cristine · April 2012

Call Child protective services. Drugs in the carseat is terrifying. If they take the little girl into custody you can let them know that you're willing to do family care. Keep in mind though that grandparents and aunts and uncles will probably be looked at first. They'll also be given every opportunity to get them back, and they'll be given regular visitation in the meantime. It's a tough road. I hope they get the baby in a safe environment quickly.

Dr.Loretta · April 2012

Ditto Cristine. Call CPS, and contact a lawyer. GL to you

Bridgarn · August 2012

Sorry I haven't been on in a while. Just wanted to give you guys an update. Dhs has been called on them so many times. Unfortunately, the dhs officials call hours in advance before making home visits or doing drug tests. As you can expect, they make their living arrangements look acceptable and take stuff to pass the tests its easy to get and affordable. But, we were told that dhs is going to really start watching them and doing more to "catch" them. Now, we are just waiting. Its become very obvious that they don't really care about that baby and it breaks my heart. I've thought about just asking them for custody of her but i know how they would react. And they would of course say no. They are more interested in getting high, having fun, and looking like they care about their daughter. Ugh, its driving me crazy because i know that if she was with us, she would be so loved and so spoiled and she would have everything she ever needed. So I'm forced to wait in the hopes that dcs will see that that little girl needs to get out of that environment.

reenie83 · August 2012

Yikes! Well the next time that you know one of them is high or that drugs are currently around the baby, call DHS again to report it and then call the police. The police will respond immediately so you can cut out having to wait for DHS to get around to it. We do that at work occasionally when such a safety risk is at hand and child services says that they won't get out there that day.

Bridgarn · August 2012

I would report them in a heart beat! Thats just the thing, though. I actually live an hour and a half from them. Everything I find out, I find out through relatives that do live closer and know whats going on. But, big news. They have court tomorrow and its looking like they will lose custody of her. I've been told not to be there, that it would look better if I wasn't there. Its killing me to wait. And i will have to wait until they get out of court to know anything. My grandmother, who has been pretty much the only one really taking care of that baby, will be in court. And, if all goes well, she is going to tell them that I want custody. She's an amazing woman. She is the one that always talks to any government involved in their case, and she is the one who has really gotten dhs more actively involved in their case. Wish us luck. I know that this will most likely be temporary. But, maybe this is what they need to realize what a precious gift they have. Or maybe they will realize she might be better off with someone else.

Courtneyluff · August 2012

YGPM

Bridgarn · August 2012

I cannot believe this! Apparently, dhs is a joke where they live. They had court today. My cousin and his wife lied and told them everything they wanted to hear, like they have job interviews they don't. Their mediator had actually put in their file that she recommended very frequent home visits because she was worried about the baby. The judge decided that they would have split custody of her them alternating weeks, they didn't need to be drug tested, no more home visits, and that they didn't need to be in court again until December. My cousin's house hasn't had electricity in a couple of months because he doesn't have a job to pay the bills or anything. And his wife has been bouncing around from boyfriend to boyfriend, shacking up with them. The judge knows all of this! I don't understand how a sane person could think all that is okay and safe for a baby. Ugh! I don't know what to do now. I mean, it obviously doesn't do any good to call the authorities down there because they don't care. Any suggestions? I've asked the mom if i can babysit every once in a while. That way i know the baby will be safe every once in a while. She hasn't gotten back to me on that. I'm trying to stay positive and hope that it will all work out for the best, but its difficult when you know that the people who can do something won't.

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