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November 2012 Moms
How to help my husband (NBR)
Hey Ladies, my husband is having a hard time, and I am not sure how to help him, other than just being there for him. His father has been having memory issues for a little while now. He was finally able to get into a specialist. The diagnosis was MCI (mild cognitive impairment). Which I guess is a precursor to dementia/alzheimer's. Peter is very close with his father, and this breaks his heart. From what my MIL says, it seems he is losing his memory pretty quickly. He was just put on meds, so I am hoping once it builds into his system, it will slow it down.
I don't know how to console my husband. All these things are floating around in his mind... like is it going to happen to him. How long will he have with his dad before he forgets him. His dad is so young, I don't know why its happening.... I don't know the answers to his questions. I can see the hurt in his eyes, and it just breaks me. Other than being there for him, I don't know what to do for him. I know he would not go see a councelor. We aren't religious, so the whole prayer thing is out. Any other suggestions?
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Re: How to help my husband (NBR)
Wow, this sounds like me and my husband a few years back. His mother, whom he is very close to since he doesn't know his father, was diagnosed with a brain disease called Frontal Lobe Dementia. He was so devistated I didn't know what to do for him. He had all the questions and no one to answer them, and we are no religious either, nor would he see a therapist.
What I did find that helped was educaton, and alot of it. The more he understood about the condition, and not just what family told him it was, the better off he felt. It almost gave him a sence of power over it after a while. It took some time and alot of backing off, but it worked. Try to find whatever you can about what is happening to his dad, and all the medications, and over time it will help. Its the not knowing that makes him feel bad. He needs his wquestons answered and time to greeve.
Just be patient. Try to listen if he wants to talk and don't press him if he doesn't. We went through something similar and it became a test of how much I could give, do and take off of his plate. The best thing I could do was try to relieve some stress around the house and let him check out from time to time.
I'm so sorry for you both. This is one of those impossible situations where there isn't anything to say. The only way out of it is to just love him.