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Thanks Meegs

nevr2amazinnevr2amazin
in LGBT Parenting
imageMeegs10.13.06:
image2moms2twins:

10 ) a friend of ours has  sister who has a baby that is 10 mo and weights 20+ lbs and said her Pediatrician said a front facing car seat was ok .. THIS IS NOT OK ... WTF .. I am so annoyed and well - I was a intern at a CORONERS BUREAU and I am PISSED that a DR would even suggest it and on what ground and HOW can I get my friend s sister to listen to me ... WTF WTF... and then a another friend ask about co-sleeping - so i did my spiel and sent them this link  :  https://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/135775/mom_convicted_for_not_heeding

I agree with you on the carseat, that is way way way way too early to front face! 

However, I'm curious about your co-sleeping "spiel." I have to say that the co-sleeping (actually bedsharing is what is mentioned in the article) article you posted is just a blog post, on cafe mom, not an informed article. It talks about one tragic situation, and doesn't even go into details about what other factors might have been at play. Bedsharing, where the baby is in the bed with the parents, when done correctly (and there are very simple rules to follow), can be perfectly safe. No one can predict SIDs, but bedsharing/co-sleeping actually lowers the risk of it. Baby will align its breathing with the mother, cutting the risk of apnea. (And co-sleeping refers to the baby being in the room, but not in the bed.)

I agree with you Meegs. Many may remember our son stopped breathing at 10-days old when he was asleep in his own bed. After a stint in the hospital and a whole lot of fear later, we took to co-sleeping with the twins. Meegs you are correct, there are simple rules to follow and the breathing does align.

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Re: Thanks Meegs

  • hlkehlke member
    I think it is a very personal choice for each family.  Many families are not able to follow the most important rules - no alcohol, sedating rx meds, illegal drugs, or cigarette smoking - and I don't think it is the right choice for those families.  I grew up with attachment parenting and a family bed, and the idea of doing it any other way is difficult for me.  But we are leaning towards the use of a co-sleeper attached to the bed on C's side of the bed.  I have sleep apnea, which is one of the things that can make bedsharing categorically unsafe, since I don't breathe normally when I sleep.  Not being able to share that experience with my (theoretical) child makes me very sad, even though I know the risks and the recommendations and usually lean towards the safest option.
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  • KershnicKershnic member
    This is something I struggle with, and agree with h1ke that it's a very personal choice.  There's evidence on both sides that one way or the other is "safer".  Professionally I am supposed to consider bed sharing dangerous.  Shelter staff are actually required to go into clients rooms and monitor whether families are utilizing cribs for babies, and the local child welfare agency has a big campaign against bed sharing.  When I get a referral it is noted as a concern, along with things like truancy and excessive corporal punishment.  In reality I will never tell a family not to bed share, though I will counsel on ways to reduce risk and legitimate reasons for concern regarding bed sharing - smoking, alcohol use, sleep apnea, obesity.  Personally, I know many families (including my sister, close friends, and of course many here) who have had a lot of success with bed sharing.  For various reasons my wife and I expect that having baby in the room with us but not in the bed will be what's right for us, but of course we will see how life pans out.
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  • JoySeattleJoySeattle member

    Why do we have three threads on this topics?! LOL.

    I just responded to the last one, but I wanted to say that I appreciate hearing others thoughts and personal conflicts about this topic. We will most likely do a combination of bed-sharing, co-sleeping and separate sleep based on time of day, baby's age, etc. I was raised by bed-sharing parents who went on to have more children. I know how to do it as safely as possible and feel confident with my understanding of the benefits and risks. Now our biggest concerns are that we should have gotten a king-size bed and that our little dog has always slept with us.

    Met 07/07/05, Wedding 07/07/07, Legal Marriage Ceremony 12/9/12, Baby Boy Born 08/09/13 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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