SO and Doctor's appts....just wondering

lucreciac · August 2012

Just wondering - how often do your SO's actually go to dr appointments with you? I've had a bit of a strange situation, because due to a scare around 19 weeks I've had to go for an u/s every two weeks. Because of my DH's job (we both work in the city, about an hour from where our dr is), he's only come to two or three appointments. These have been basically the big ones, like the first, the 20 week, etc. I know I am being over-sensitive and a big fat whiner, but I just wish he would have come to more.... so just curious - how often does your SO come to your appointments?

JoNi2010 · August 2012

DH only initially came to the first midwife appointment, then the 13week ultrasound, and then the 21 week anatomy scan. I was not able to take off during the day and had to rush from work to the midwife office so since everything was fine he let me go alone. Now that I'm in between jobs, I can schedule appointments around DH's work so he can come more often. I don't think it's a huge deal if there are no complications and you go alone, but I understand how you feel especially if this is your first or if you have complications - you want to share everything with DH!

daronsmommy · August 2012

DH came to the a/s, but that has been it both times. My first appointment with DS, my BFF came with me. My stepmom will be going to an appointment with me in the next couple weeks. I'm really not bothered that DH can't come, I don't think normal doc appointments are that "fun" for DH.

SouthernBellaKS · August 2012

DH has been to every single one of them. I couldn't handle the possibility of having another loss and finding out without him there. But it works out for us because my office is 10 minutes from our house, and he works from the house, and then our OB's office is also on the same side of town.

baeluevano · August 2012

DH & DD1 came to the dating U/S, the NT scan, the 2 different A/S's we had done. Basically he come to the ultrasounds & anything big like that. He didn't come to the first because we wanted to be sure of everything before telling everyone & so he had to stay home with DD1.

The 1st time around he came to the 1st apt, all the ultrasounds, & a few apts at the end()maybe 3), then the non-stress tests.

irish city girl · August 2012

DH is probably the exception, but he has been to every appointment except for one when we didn't have childcare and my appointment was during naptime. DH works from home and has very flexible hours so it's not a big deal for him to go. If he had a more rigid schedule and/or worked farther away, I'm sure he wouldn't go to as many appointments.

Ruthie04 · August 2012

SouthernBellaKS:
DH has been to every single one of them. I couldn't handle the possibility of having another loss and finding out without him there.

Same for us. Loss and IF messed with my head and I appreciate the extra support since appointments make me so nervous. Plus, he really likes to come and talk to the OBs and MFMs. I get ultrasounds every 2-3 weeks, so he loves to see the babies on those. Now that I am so big, it is getting hard for me to fit behind the wheel. I think he has to come to my weekly NSTs, as they are 40 minutes away.

Dana327 · August 2012

DH hasn't been to any of my appoitments with me. He is the only one working and in order for him to come we would loose a day of pay (he gets no sick days). My sister has been my buddy the whole time.

Mrs. Guthrie · August 2012

DH has only been to the anatomy scan, no other appointments.

projectbaby2012 · August 2012

DH will come to as many appointments with me as his work schedule allows. Thus I would say he's attended about 50% of them.

Joeypnut · August 2012

Mrs. Guthrie:
DH has only been to the anatomy scan, no other appointments.

This. If I felt like he should be there, he would come with me, but I don't think it's a big deal that he's not there. He works and it would require him to take a half day and it just doesn't make sense to do that. I'd rather have him home with us after the baby comes.

cubberss · August 2012

We're really lucky that DH has a very flexible job, and he's come to every MW appointment, and every u/s (we have u/s every three weeks due to some health issues with LO).

ETA: Now that I think about it, he's only missed two appointments in all three pregnancies... haha.

danienross · August 2012

DH has been at all of them, all but the very first one have taken place in our home. My appointment next week will most likely be the last one he is present for though because he's deploying.

gracefullywild · August 2012

My DH has been to every appointment of mine but maybe two or three. He's been there for all three u/s and some of my regular appointments, I have GD though so he likes to go to see what the doctor says most of the time. I like that he's really into it.

Nineoceans · August 2012

It's more convenient for my schedule to make all my appointments super early in the morning which means Dh can't come because he has to wrangle my SS alone in the morning. The appointments just feel like doc appointments, nothing special or that would help him with bonding so I've been selfishly scheduling them around my convenience

mrsmklynch · August 2012

I always schedule my appointments at the very end of the day so I can use as little time off as possible. Because of that, DH comes to most of the appointments - it's also a really good excuse to keep his boss from working him 12+ hours a day. I usually get my parents to pick DS1 up from summer camp and keep him overnight on those days and DD comes with me. (I learned very quickly that taking them both would drive me to drink.) DH likes to be there to help wrangle DD and he also loves getting to hear the heartbeat. Now that we're transitioning into bi-weekly appointments, I doubt he'll be at as many though.

For the record, my DH coming to all the appointments seems to be a rarity in our group of friends. Most of the other husbands don't go to any appointments, and some don't even go to the ultrasounds.

DanielleH910 · August 2012

At the beginning I was going by myself a lot. The first appointment he was able to attend was the a/s. Since then I have been able to make appointments at times where he either had off or could cut out a little early. He works 2 jobs, one at a special ed school and the second job is an outreach like job where he goes to student's houses and helps them do daily living things, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. It's easier for him to move around his outreach schedule than take off from school.

Mrs.RockyM · August 2012

With DD#1, DH came to my first appointment, all U/S and towards the end of my pregnancy (when I started having to go weekly) he came for a few of them because I wanted him to meet all the doctors. Turns out the only 2 he didn't meet were the ones on call when I delivered (csection) and then when I was discharged.

This time around, he's met all the doctors so I'm not as concerned. He came to the first appointment and all u/s appointments and that's it. No need for him to take off work too to watch me get weighed, have my BP taken, have them use the doppler, and measure my bump.

NerdHerder29 · August 2012

DH came to my first appointment (just pregnancy verification) and the anatomy scan. That's it so far. He might come to some of these later ones when the internal exams start, but I'm not sure.

LBoogeyBride · August 2012

DH has been to all three (dating, NT, A/S) ultrasounds, but he has never been to a regular visit and has not met my OB. I will probably have him come to one appointment so that he can meet the doctor. For the amount of time I sit in the waiting room and how short my regular check ups are, I'm glad he isn't taking time off work to tag along.