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I feel so liberated

careyaliscareyalis member
in Late Term and Child Loss

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 My 2nd graders were presenting their "me bags" this morning, which are brown paper bags with stuff that represents them.  I always present one in the beginning to model what they should be doing. 

I showed them a picture of my family--all three of us.  I was really hesitant to show them a picture of Avery, but I am so glad that I did.  I chose one that just showed her little face while she was still living with Jeff and I looking down at her.  The kids all knew about her because I was extremely pregnant last school year and the counselor explained what had happened to the whole school.

It just felt really good to be able to talk about her with my students.  I obviously kept it very age appropriate and just said "this is a picture of my family.  This is my husband, this is me, and this is our daughter Avery.  I know that Mrs. Pittman told you about Avery last year, but she was sick and was not able to live very long.  This picture was taken during the time that we got to spend with her right after she was born."

I also shared her pictures on Facebook yesterday for the first time.  It just made me feel so good to share her with people.  I hate that it feels taboo to talk about a dead child.  They are still our babies and we are proud of them just like any other parents.




My angel Avery- 2/16/12, My rainbow Blake= 3/4/13, Joyfully awaiting #3 5/11/15
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Re: I feel so liberated

  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    This is so wonderful, Carey. I cried reading it! I am thankful to have some beautiful photos of Patricia and I love sharing them. She will always be our precious first child!


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member

    imagecareyalis:
    I hate that it feels taboo to talk about a dead child.  They are still our babies and we are proud of them just like any other parents.

    I couldn't agree more. This is so wonderful! It really brought a smile to my face.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Bread09Bread09 member
    Such a wonderful post--thanks for sharing!!!
    TTC #1 since 4/09
    2/21/11: IVF #1 Begins and results in TWINS!
    11/4/11: The twins are born at 36w4d!
    11/5/11: We said goodbye to our sweet baby girl as she was born with multiple complications and a severe heart defect, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • medblaismedblais
    I am so glad that you got to share your pictures of your baby girl! I love sharing my pictures of DD, and really do it as often as I can. I feel like it validates her life, like other people get to see her for the beautiful baby she was, not just a "loss".
    Genevieve Rose died at 37 days old, meningitis Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFetus Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • BronwynJaedeBronwynJaede
    I am so glad you shared photos of your daughter!  I haven't shown anyone photos of Jack - I'm too scared of their reactions - but you have inspired me. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Bayberry12Bayberry12 member

    This is so beautiful.  

    "I also shared her pictures on Facebook yesterday for the first time.  It just made me feel so good to share her with people.  I hate that it feels taboo to talk about a dead child.  They are still our babies and we are proud of them just like any other parents." 

    I feel the same way.  

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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  • nuttycoconutnuttycoconut member

    This is fantastic! I think about how my family never got to see pictures of Max & Molly and it makes me sad that they never knew my firstborn babies. I love that you could share with your class and FB friends. 

    Ps. I start school tomorrow but not with the kids. So bummed summer is over! When did you start?  

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • johnnys junejohnnys june member
    Girl, I got teary eyed too!  This is so awesome.  I remember that moment too, when I shared Logan's pictures.  It gets easier and even more liberating each time.  Although it is "taboo" to the mass public, I've reasoned that it only bothers them because they're afraid of the reality.  If sharing her pictures makes you happy, then do it.  This is about you, your family, and her...no one else!  *hugs*  So happy you experienced this.
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  • careyaliscareyalis member

     Thanks everyone!  

    imagenuttycoconut:

    This is fantastic! I think about how my family never got to see pictures of Max & Molly and it makes me sad that they never knew my firstborn babies. I love that you could share with your class and FB friends. 

    Ps. I start school tomorrow but not with the kids. So bummed summer is over! When did you start?  

    Ugh!  My first day with kids was last Wednesday. We are starting to get into a routine, but the beginning of the year is always so crazy. I am actually missing 7 days for a trip to Europe and that is really stressing me out. I am super excited though.  Fortunately, my principal sees the value in international travel and was very supportive of the trip.  




    My angel Avery- 2/16/12, My rainbow Blake= 3/4/13, Joyfully awaiting #3 5/11/15
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