VBAC
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32 weeks and starting to feel anxious
I have really enjoyed reading posts here and need some advice from others. I don't know anyone who has VBACed and I had a bit of a breakdown at my OB's yesterday. We scheduled our RCS just to have it on the books and now I am a bit stressed. I do really want to VBAC. I feel cheated from my csection and have a few concerns/worries.
1 is that I will try the VBAC and end up in a csection and feel like I failed again. I worry this will make me feel worse than just doing the RCS.
2. I do the RCS and feel like I should have tried for the VBAC. Even if it is a better experience than the first I know I will always wonder.
3. Successful VBAC but don't have the "wow this was the experience I always wanted!" feeling.
4. Successful VBAC and feel positive obviously hope for this one.
Of course there is no way to predict how I will feel after any of these scenarios. I guess it is all starting to finally hit me that this birth is soon.
Thanks for your thoughts in advance!
1 is that I will try the VBAC and end up in a csection and feel like I failed again. I worry this will make me feel worse than just doing the RCS.
2. I do the RCS and feel like I should have tried for the VBAC. Even if it is a better experience than the first I know I will always wonder.
3. Successful VBAC but don't have the "wow this was the experience I always wanted!" feeling.
4. Successful VBAC and feel positive obviously hope for this one.
Of course there is no way to predict how I will feel after any of these scenarios. I guess it is all starting to finally hit me that this birth is soon.
Thanks for your thoughts in advance!
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Re: 32 weeks and starting to feel anxious
I remember feeling a little anxious before my VBAC. That is normal, so don't worry.
For me, I wanted to VBAC because I didn't want to have a major surgery that I didn't need. I did not schedule a c/s to "have it on the books" because I felt like that might mess with me mentally. I made it clear to my midwife that I would only consent to a c/s if medically necessary- not because I didn't have the baby within the timeline the hospital felt the baby should come on.
Right now- don't worry about how you might feel afterward. Work toward the birth you want and then you have to let go a little and let the birth take it's course. If you try for a VBAC and it doesn't work out, know that you did your best but this baby wasn't meant to come that way. And if you don't get the "birth I always wanted feeling" don't worry about that either! That baby will make you feel like a million dollars and you really won't be thinking about the list you posted above.
Good luck these last few weeks!
I really like the way you put this! I just wanted to say you did a great job of replying to this post.
Your hopes and dreams for your birth DO matter- don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But life has a way of happening how it wants:-) But you can't stress over things you can't control. So work toward that birth but enjoy yourself too!