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"Of course YOU can tell them apart, you're their mother!"

Mrs.GregMrs.Greg member
in Multiples

Yeah, some woman actually said this to me. And it was with so much attitude, I was a little taken aback.  And that doesn't normally happen to me, I am a little bit of a spitfire.  But I honestly didn't even know what to say to her.  Before she said this, she TOLD me that my babies are identical.  Now, we aren't positive but we're pretty sure they are fraternal. So I correct her and say this.  Then she gives me a look and makes this comment.  Confused

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Re: "Of course YOU can tell them apart, you're their mother!"

  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    Ugh. The attitude was certainly rude! If she had said it nicely I wouldn't think much of it since they do look quite similar, but the attitude was really unnecessary.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member

    That is annoying. I agree that the tone of voice was the worst thing. I get that comment all the time, but it's not said rudely. 

     

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member
    People were so set in their opinions on whether or not they were fraternal or identical that I got annoyed and got the test done (it was only around $100, which is much less then I expected).  Even now that we know for sure, we still get some people saying "oh, I can definitely tell the difference" and others wondering how we can tell them apart.  Now the easiest way to tell them apart is by their personalities, which is awesome :)
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member

    imageJen0204:
    People were so set in their opinions on whether or not they were fraternal or identical that I got annoyed and got the test done (it was only around $100, which is much less then I expected).  Even now that we know for sure, we still get some people saying "oh, I can definitely tell the difference" and others wondering how we can tell them apart.  Now the easiest way to tell them apart is by their personalities, which is awesome :)

    Funny! My boys are clearly fraternal--different hair color, different noses and general facial structure, etc.--and yet until they were around 1, so many people would say, "I don't know how you tell them apart!" After their hair grew in more then it switched to, "Oh, they're twins? But they look so different!"

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member
    imagemacchiatto:


    Funny! My boys are clearly fraternal--different hair color, different noses and general facial structure, etc.--and yet until they were around 1, so many people would say, "I don't know how you tell them apart!" After their hair grew in more then it switched to, "Oh, they're twins? But they look so different!"

    Two of my friends have sets of fraternal twin girls and they look very different from each other but I don't know who is who because we don't see them enough.  One of my friends seems to get annoyed that I can't tell them apart.  It's not that they look alike, I just don't know which look goes to which name but I don't know how to say that without it coming across wrong.  That kind of sounds like "I can't be bothered to learn your kid's name".  The next time we see them I think I'm going to go through all of her pictures on FB and try to get it down.

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member

    Yeah, that's understandable for LOs you don't see often! I have had some people say that they are trying to remember which name goes with which face and it doesn't bother me if they haven't spent a lot of time w/my boys. I have a couple mnemonics that help them remember though (e.g. one son and I have the same hair color and same first initial).

    ETA: Yesterday in the church nursery we had 4-month-old twin girls (I was excited; the other twins at our church are all much older than my boys). Conveniently their dark-haired one has the same first initial as my dark-haired twin so it was easy for me to remember which name went with which baby. ;)

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member
    My dad and brother can't tell mine apart, which annoys me to no end.  They see them every single weekday morning!  They're identical, but I think they look very different.  My dad can tell them apart if they're next to each other, but on their own he might as well just flip a coin.  When my brother talks to them he says "hi cute girl who's name I don't know!".  It was cute at first, now it's a little annoying.  Especially since H's family - who see them once a week - can all tell them apart.
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  • selenamarinoselenamarino member

    My twins are b/g.  My son has blonde hair and blue eyes and my daughter has darker brown hair and her eyes are a darker blue (turning brown) and we get asked all the time if they are identical and that they look "so much alike".  Now, I know there is a resemblance but come on, really.

     And my husbands response is always the same.  "no, they were just born really close together". 

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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member

    imageJen0204:
    My dad and brother can't tell mine apart, which annoys me to no end.  They see them every single weekday morning!  They're identical, but I think they look very different.  My dad can tell them apart if they're next to each other, but on their own he might as well just flip a coin.  When my brother talks to them he says "hi cute girl who's name I don't know!".  It was cute at first, now it's a little annoying.  Especially since H's family - who see them once a week - can all tell them apart.

    Same thing here! None of their grandparents can tell them apart unless they are next to each other and even then they sometimes get it wrong. I'm getting over it, but it does bug me. MIL sees them all the time and she still mixes them up. I think she feels badly about it too. I guess I need to start doing nametags or something.

    It is so interesting to me that most mamas of ID multiples swear that their kids don't look the same (me included - my girls' head shapes are completely different). Yet, when I look at pics here, including yours, I really can't see the "obvious" differences :).

     

     

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • kelandspence2012kelandspence2012
    People always ask how I can tell my booys apart lol duh I'm their mother! Lol the look completely different! My dad calls one hairy and the other baldy because he still has a hard time remembering their names!
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    imagekiwi443:

    It is so interesting to me that most mamas of ID multiples swear that their kids don't look the same (me included - my girls' head shapes are completely different). Yet, when I look at pics here, including yours, I really can't see the "obvious" differences :).

    I have noticed this, too. :)

    And I'm sorry that some of your (plural) family members don't really try to tell your IDs apart. That stinks. :( Hopefully they'll get better about it as your multiples get older.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    Haha... my boys are so clearly fraternal and we still get comments all the time about how they're identical. When I correct people they ask me how in the world I can tell them apart. My answer is always "Um, well because they look completely different." I don't think they even look related, let alone exactly alike.
    m/c 7/17/10
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    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

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  • mirnbmirnb member

    I love it when people try to argue with you about if your kids are frat or id....we haven't had our boys tested but are 99% sure they are frat.....but people are constantly saying "no they must be identical........I find it so annoying! Some of my family members can't tell them apart still.....it boggles my mind because I think they look so different! 

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1904ea.aspx[/img][/url] 

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  • macchiattomacchiatto member

    imageColleenS629:
    Haha... my boys are so clearly fraternal and we still get comments all the time about how they're identical. When I correct people they ask me how in the world I can tell them apart. My answer is always "Um, well because they look completely different." I don't think they even look related, let alone exactly alike.

    LOL, I could've written this post word for word about 3 years ago. :) It really should get better as they get older; the differences become a lot more obvious once their hair grows in, etc.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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