Should I tell my aunt?

Lilywildcat · August 2012

We had some family (aunts, uncles and cousins, age 17 and 12) come from Portugal and stayed with my parents for about 5 weeks. I lent them our laptop while they were here and got it back on Thursday. I was using it earlier today and I got pop-ups from a porn site. I asked my hubby if he knew anything about it and said no, but he got pop ups earlier today too and he mentioned that checked the history and there are many visits to porno sites specifically in the time my cousins had my laptop. A while back, my aunt mentioned to me in a conversation that she had found porn sites in her home computer's web history too. It was her son (the 12 yr old) that had gone on the sites. She had a long talk with him and took away his computer privileges for a while and she upped her parental controls.

Should i tell her what i found on my web history? He shouldn't be looking at stuff like that at all!!! His parents should know so they could have a talk with him again and to be a more vigilant about what their kids access online. I also think he needs to be reminded about treating other people's stuff with extra care. He broke the connector tip for the power supply. Luckily my sister had a power supply from her old laptop which was compatible and gave it to me, so i didn't make a big deal about it. my aunt knew because his older sister ratted him out. I'm pissed because I got my freaking laptop back and now a rubber pad missing from a button and i find porn on my laptop and i am getting pop ups.

Should i tell my aunt about all this?

persephonerose · August 2012

I would mention the porn sites since it seems to be a reoccurring issue that the parents have talked about with you.

I would not go out of my way to mention the pop ups and the missing rubber pad from a button. But I have a policy of not lending anything that I would be upset if it got damaged or destroyed. Accidents happen.

tarebear9891 · August 2012

Yes. Because at the very least he needs to be held accountable for returning your property in worse shape than he got it. aside from the broken cord you likely have a virus from the porn sites He owes you an apology and I think that the embarrassment will be a bit of a life lesson for him.

ShellShockedMama · August 2012

I would, especially since it was an issue your aunt specifically brought up. It's also obvious he's probably watching that stuff elsewhere, out of your aunt's ability to monitor him. He's probably watching it at friends houses and such.

I would tell her.

smerka · August 2012

I would want to know if my kid did that. I would tell her.

ASmallWonder · August 2012

I would tell her but make it clear you aren't saying it was definitely him but because you know the history, you thought she'd want to know that it was possible. Was your browsing history clear when you got it back as if someone was trying to hide something? If not, I would lean more toward it being something someone stumbled onto or a virus.

Side story: I worked for a christian catalog company years back and because I was part time, I shard a desk and computer with another coworker. I came in one night and my supervisor was all embarrassed and mentioned that the coworker had porn pop ups earlier in the day. She didn't even ask me if I had anything to do with it because she KNEW I didn't and we knew the other woman absolutely didn't either. We have no idea how they got on there but it absolutely was NOT because either of us had looked at porn at work. At the christian place :-p

shakes · August 2012

tarebear9891:
Yes. Because at the very least he needs to be held accountable for returning your property in worse shape than he got it. aside from the broken cord you likely have a virus from the porn sites He owes you an apology and I think that the embarrassment will be a bit of a life lesson for him.

I was going to say no, but I agree with this post. I don't think a 12 year old boy looking at porn is a big deal but if it's an ongoing issue then that's different. But the borrowing of your laptop and not taking care of it is unacceptable.

klondikebar · August 2012

I would since it's a recurring issue that your aunt is dealing with.

mejane123 · August 2012

Since she mentioned the porn specifically as being a prior issue, I would mention it. She can't monitor him everywhere he goes, obviously, but if it's an issue in her home already, then she deserves to know. A 12 year old boy looking at porn isn't exactly a novel thing, but clearly there's been an issue with it before so it should be addressed.

As for the other stuff, yes, she should know that your laptop was returned damaged. He needs to be held responsible for the things he borrows from other people, and that includes family. And in the future, I just wouldn't lend stuff like that out.

Littledeer84 · August 2012

I would tell her, since she mentioned it as an issue previously. Also, besides her concerns about the porn, he needs to know how to treat other people's property.

Kitiara5512 · August 2012

Yes, you should say something for both your cousin's safety and mental health, and also because he should be held responsible for any damages to your computer (I would not include monetary costs, but more that he should have to do extra chores at home or write you an apology letter or something so he doesn't feel he got off scott free because of being in another country).

ppants · August 2012

shakes:
tarebear9891:
Yes. Because at the very least he needs to be held accountable for returning your property in worse shape than he got it. aside from the broken cord you likely have a virus from the porn sites He owes you an apology and I think that the embarrassment will be a bit of a life lesson for him.

I was going to say no, but I agree with this post. I don't think a 12 year old boy looking at porn is a big deal but if it's an ongoing issue then that's different. But the borrowing of your laptop and not taking care of it is unacceptable.

Really shakes? It's a whole different world now. It's not like he found a playboy mag (much more acceptable IMO). It's all hardcore, explicit material. He's 12, if he starts with that stuff at this age, where will he be at 18? I understand kids are curios and it will happen, but it's so extreme for such a young kid.

jw87 · August 2012

smerka:
I would want to know if my kid did that. I would tell her.

This. I would want to know!

jw87 · August 2012

mrs_sexy:
Really shakes? It's a whole different world now. It's not like he found a playboy mag (much more acceptable IMO). It's all hardcore, explicit material. He's 12, if he starts with that stuff at this age, where will he be at 18? I understand kids are curios and it will happen, but it's so extreme for such a young kid.

I agree, a playboy vs. porn is soooo not the same!

delg23 · August 2012

mrs_sexy:
shakes:
tarebear9891:
Yes. Because at the very least he needs to be held accountable for returning your property in worse shape than he got it. aside from the broken cord you likely have a virus from the porn sites He owes you an apology and I think that the embarrassment will be a bit of a life lesson for him.

I was going to say no, but I agree with this post. I don't think a 12 year old boy looking at porn is a big deal but if it's an ongoing issue then that's different. But the borrowing of your laptop and not taking care of it is unacceptable.
Really shakes? It's a whole different world now. It's not like he found a playboy mag (much more acceptable IMO). It's all hardcore, explicit material. He's 12, if he starts with that stuff at this age, where will he be at 18? I understand kids are curios and it will happen, but it's so extreme for such a young kid.

I was just saying this to my husband and then I scrolled to your comment. I'm not very freaked by porn generally speaking but a 12 y/o seeing the crazy porn on the internet today is kind of insane to me.

mrebecca · August 2012

I'd tell. That's definitely something to be upset over.

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