Concerned and need to vent (sorry, a little long) — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Concerned and need to vent (sorry, a little long)

Okay, so I'm not sure what's going on with myself yesterday and today but being a FTM and not too sure where to turn, I thought I'd try here and vent a moment with the hopes of some understanding and advice....

I am about 6.5 weeks PP and for the first 2 weeks I def. had the baby blues. I was mourning my life with my DH prebaby, worried I wouldn't be a good mother...etc.  I was also extremely tired from being in labor for 28 hours, pushing for about 3 hours and then ending in a c-section. By week 3 I was feeling much better.  Weeks 3.5-6 have been wonderful and super enjoyable.  I love going out, visiting with people, doing activities with my LO and getting ourselves set into somewhat of a routine.

These last few days however, I can't stop thinking that my body failed me during labor, by not having the opportunity to go into labor on my own (I was induced due to high BP) and then by not having my desired birth plan and having a c-section.  I got some advice from other boards here and then learned that there could be a possibility of a VBAC for my next birth (won't be until 2-3 years down the road) but I always thought that once a C/S always a C/S.  So this made me feel a bit better and hopeful for getting to experience a vaginal birth.

Then today, I have been extra tired (of course could be because of the whole newborn thing) and extremely emotional and just kind of feeling alone and frustrated with life and myself.  It hasn't stopped me from interacting with LO or wanting to interact with him, I just don't really feel like myself... I kind of feel like I went back to week one of being home with the baby blues, just not constant crying all day.... more like waves of emotions.

I've always gone back on the pill this past week, could that have something to do with my emotions too.... another hormonal shift?

If I'm still feeling like this in a few days I will be calling my doctor, but I thought I would start here and get this off my chest.  Talking on these boards have really helped me get passed my baby blues and anything else I've come across so far.

TIA

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TTC #1: May 2011
BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 35 | DH: 38
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) =  BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP

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Re: Concerned and need to vent (sorry, a little long)

  • Hey sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Adjusting to life with children can always take some time and have ups and downs for sure. I would watch yourself and even ask someone close to you to just kind of see if how you are is 'normal', sometimes others see depression before you. 

    That being said I attempted the pill after my first and was brutally up and down, I went off it and will never go back on! 

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