Nursing to sleep.

BabyALE2012 · August 2012

My daughter is 6 months old and exclusively breast fed. It felt like she never left my boob for the first three months of her life. During late night feeds, we began to develop the habit of nursing to sleep. It worked so well a first...felt like I could actually sleep I would sleep while she ate, and we'd co sleep. Anyways, this tradition moved on over to her naps as well....and now she won't sleep unless nursed down, ever. I am ok with this for now I enjoy the closeness and cuddles, but am starting to worry about the future. Will she ever be able to go to sleep on her own? One day I'll have to return to work, or need a sitter for longer than an hour... Then what? Ive been researching for awhile and a very popular solution to this is to sleep train her using cry it out. I can't. It breaks my heart, leaves me in tears, and is far too stressful on baby and I. I am hoping to get personal experiences here. Did anyone nurse to sleep? Did the "problem" correct itself? At what age did this happen? And finally, did you have to sleep train? Thank you in advance!!!

kami1977 · August 2012

I have a two year old DS and while he still nurses we very rarely nurse to sleep. Both my DH and my sitter are able to put him to sleep. He still wants someone to lay down with him at bed time but nap time we read a story, nurse, give kisses and he goes to sleep all by himself. We don't have to nurse at that time in order for him to nap.

We tried sleep training but it wasn't for our us. DS just escalated and would cry for over an hour and after a couple of different tries we threw in the towel. The only reason, we did was I kept reading and hearing that they have to learn to self sooth and I started to doubt myself. I wish I had trusted myself and DS that he would learn to fall asleep on his own in his own time. I still struggle sometimes with DS's sleep habits but I know eventually he won't need me or DH to fall asleep.

I believe if it isn't broke don't fix it. If you are fine nursing to sleep, then keep doing it. Eventually she'll stop nursing to sleep on her own. If nursing to sleep is causing problems you can sleep train withou cry it out. The No Cry Sleep Solution might be helpful in this case.

I also have a DD whom is two months old and is a fantastic sleeper while DS was/is a horrible sleeper. This just cemented for me that while parenting is important the child's temperament plays a huge role in how they develop and grow.

Sorry for the novel

eav2c · August 2012

I don't have a lot of experience but quite a few mommas on my BMB have said they nursed to sleep. Some needed extra help and others didn't but all said it was worth it in the end if that is what their LO needs at the time. I totally agree that CIO breaks my heart. Your DD is still young and very likely might correct this on her own in due time. There is the No Cry Sleep Solution that I hear works well and might be worth looking into!?

ncbelle · August 2012

Well...I often wish Eleanor would still nurse to sleep if that tells you anything Both she and Callum gave it up on there own. But what I think helped with that was the fact that in addition to nursing to sleep, they were often worn to sleep (i wore them for most naps under 9 months and still wore them to sleep for naps and bedtime after that). Also important was that DH also put them to sleep on a regular basis (he also wore them). In fact, E goes to sleep more easily for him than for me right now I think in part because with me she wants to nurse but doesn't really want to fall asleep nursing.

So my advice would be to have daddy or someone else take over sleep duties some - let him find his own way to get her down. That will make a big difference in the long run I think.

maggielw · August 2012

I still nurse my DD to sleep at night and for naps. If I am around, this is pretty much the only way she will go to sleep. But she will sleep for other people also. At daycare she goes down all by herself on her little cot, and at the grandparents she'll fall asleep with a little back patting. Nursing to sleep is super easy for me, and she usually falls right to sleep, and I can slip away and go about my day/ night. Then when I'm ready for bed I just slip in and we get pretty good sleep that way. I never saw the need to sleep train her, and I do not feel like its a burden to nurse to sleep, so it just works for us.

pixieprincss · August 2012

DS weaned himself off of it with me gradually from 14-18 mo. but long before that, he worked out other ways to go to sleep with other people. With DH, it is cuddling while DS strokes his ear or arm. With my dad, they go on long walks in a stroller and DS sleeps. My step-mom lays with DS and massages him or rocks him. My FIL doesn't have to do anything special for some wacky reason. My MIL lays with him. If there is a situation where you cannot nurse your child down, a gentle caretaker and your child will figure something out. It may mean tears, but crying with a loving caregiver is not CIO or iIt may mean a tired evening where you baby just doesn't sleep until you get home or it may mean that your baby will work out a different pattern with someone else. The unknown is stressful, but something will work out, especially as you get past the EBF days and start to mix in some solids so at least you know the full-belly side of things is taken care of while you are away.

sucredee · August 2012

DD is almost 27 months. I didn't actually start nursing her to sleep for naps until she switched to the crib for naps at 15 months (she napped in the swing prior to that even tough she slept int he crib at night since she was born) and she still does now. She has no trouble falling asleep for nap at daycare 3 x a week or when my friend watches her occasionally.

She stopped nursing to sleep at night around that time too (on her own). I still nurse her before bed but she just doesn't fall asleep anymore while nursing unless she is exhausted. We don't get a babysitter very often but when we do she goes to sleep without much of a fight, probably because she knows she can't have the boob. Currently she actually passes out fairly quickly after nursing. Sometime she will talk for a good 30 minutes before falling asleep. She still wakes up once a night on average to nurse.

kmm2150 · August 2012

Hi, just lurking but wanted to add my experience - DD nurses to sleep with me for bedtime and naps (just on weekends, since she's in daycare M-F) 99% of the time, and I had a period of feeling like you do - will she ever go to sleep on her own? Am I making a mistake, should I be breaking her of this? BUT - she goes to sleep just fine at daycare, with grandma, and with DH if I'm not there, and also can wake up in the night and put herself back to sleep with minimal fussing and usually quicker than I can get to her crib, so I'm confident that this is just something that works for us now and when she's ready, she'll just transition out of it.

boogerbearoriginal · August 2012

Nursing to sleep is a normal thing, there's a reason BM has sleep inducing proteins.

If you/LO are fine with the current routine then don't worry about "fixing" a problem that isn't there. You can always do something different if it becomes an issue.

My LO still nurses to sleep if I'm home, however, Dad/other caregivers can easily get him to sleep by rocking. I don't feel like CIO is right for us, but some people have success using that or other sleep training methods. Honestly I haven't really looked into any of the options because I don't mind nursing to sleep.

From what I've heard from other moms a lot of this is child dependent, some kids will give up nursing to sleep easily, and at a younger age than others. But I don't think you'll be nursing a 6yr old to sleep if you don't sleep train now, kwim?

hey_little_bird · August 2012

ncbelle:
So my advice would be to have daddy or someone else take over sleep duties some - let him find his own way to get her down. That will make a big difference in the long run I think.

this is fantastic, and i never thought about it. i need to try it!

(also, hey, our daughters have the same name!)

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