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Pre-School and Daycare
carmenlarue
member
3 yo "can't sleep"...
carmenlarue
member
Hey ladies, Im now 4 months PG, DD starts Preschool on Sept 4th, so lots of change coming. My 3 y.o has started not being able to sleep at her 8 pm bedtime. We read, we rock and she's usually down within a short time. Now, she plays, she talks, she needs a drink, she needs to poop, her butt hurts, her finger hurts, etc. Last night, she hollered for me for 40 minutes! As soon as I came in, silence and wanting to Rock again. She finally passed out, but she is also waking up several times a night again. It is EXHAUSTING. Has anyone else dealt with this? I went to the library and got books on being a big sister and starting a new school, which she loves to read, but the behavior hasn't changed much. Any ideas?
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Re: 3 yo "can't sleep"...
We did! My DD went through this phase around 3 (and 3.5 actually) but it didn't last too long. We moved (3x), had a baby, started preschool, etc. within a few months. I think their little minds just can't settled down as easily. Hang in there, It will pass!
We did! About the same age. For probably two months, it was so hard for DD to calm down and she was night waking and coming into our room nearly every night. She kept pushing her bedtime back later and later, not being able to settle down. Everything about her life was seemintgly the same, although we did have a new baby, but he was 4 months at the time, and this didn't start until he was 4 months, didn't start before then.
Not sure what was going on, but she was going through something, a growth spurt or something. She has since calmed down and is flat out sleeping every night by 8:15, sometimes earlier.
It's pretty normal to deal with sleep disruptions around age 3ish, even when there's not a new baby on the way and preschool looming.
Kids this age are leaving toddler-hood and becoming more independent in many ways, but they're pretty nervous about this prospect! And nervousness is never more of a factor than at night. So, while they're asking for a drink, a chance to poop, another story, complaining that her finger hurts, etc., the driving force behind this is "I don't want to be on my own."
The trick is, if we give in to the repeated requests, it sends the message that the little person really DOES need us. If we can gently but firmly encourage independence, it's easier to get through this stage without creating any bad habits.
When my son was in this stage, we dealt with it by saying he could call for us just ONE time. When he called for us, we'd stop outside the door and ask, "do you want this to be your 'one time' or do you want to save that for later?" He gradually learned that he could pretty much get through without our help! It took a few weeks.
We've gone though some bouts of this and what seems to help for us is to talk about the expectactions for bedtime all day - not just at bedtime. So, she can mull it over all day - and there's no "surprise" new rule new process at night.
Glad to hear that we aren't the only ones going thru this. My DD will turn 3 next week and just the past few weeks we've gone thru tears, being scared of the dark, having to pee, needing a drink...etc. every night. Before this, she was the easiest kid to get to sleep and we never really had issues. I am prego, but not due until January, so no new baby yet. She will be starting school in about a month, but we haven't hyped that up at all, and she's been before and is really excited about going back. Anyway, I'm not sure what the deal is, but I like the "one time" idea and "bedtime pass" as well. If this continues, we will put those ideas to use. Good luck- it is exhausting (esp when she is a bit grumpier than normal the next day b/c she didn't get enough sleep the night before).
I got this great tip from Parenting with Love and Logic, instead of forcing your child to sleep at a certain time, leave the light on if they aren't sleepy after you have done your normal nighttime routine. Tell them they can read or play or do whatever they want but they need to stay in their rooms.If you wake them at a consistent time for school they will naturally fall asleep at the best time for them with no power struggle. This also sets them up for a lifetime of recognizing their own sleep signals, and self soothing behavior. SInce doing this 90% of the time, when I go back into turn of the light DD is asleep within 15 minutes with a book next to her. Occasionally she stays awake longer but is almost always content to be by herself so I still get time to myself in the evening.