- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
March 2013 Moms
TMWarren85
member
Big brother/sister?
TMWarren85
member
My DD turned 3 in June, so she will be a few months shy of 4 when this LO is due. She is an only child, the only grandchild on my DH's side of the family, and one of two (within a month of each other) on my side of the family, but the only girl. So she pretty much runs this place. It's probably partially pregnancy hormones but I get really emotional thinking about bringing a little brother/sister into the world and her feeling left out. I really want her to be excited about this new baby (we haven't told her and will probably wait for a bit), but I know there will be lots of adjustments to be made in the house, she'll have to share time with everyone, etc., etc. and I don't want her to resent the new baby. I was thinking of having a 'Big Sister' Luncheon (just a fancy title for lunch with a few small gifts) later in the game, closer to my due date- something to make her feel really special. Am I going over board thinking about this? Has anyone else had a similar thought or experience?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Big brother/sister?
I would say try to help her see what a blessing it is to be getting a baby brother or sister. My kids often complain about how the little ones cramp their style and make life difficult, etc, but we always remind them that siblings are a gift from God and a friend for life (well, ok...dh and I both don't talk to our siblings, but we were raised 180 degrees different including favoritism in both families...we were both the NON-favorites). I would talk about some of the specifics as the time gets closer, like Mommy is going to have to spend a lot of time feeding the baby and holding the baby, but then I also remind my kids that when they were babies, I spent just as much time holding them. Get good at doing things one handed, or sit on the floor with the baby in your lap while you play with your daughter. As long as you're trying to stay involved in their lives, I think the transition can be really smooth. One of my favorite things to do when #2 was a baby was sit on the floor next to #1's little table, and we'd do Play Dough stuff together. He loved it, and he never felt left out. And I didn't feel like I was neglecting either one because #2 would be laying on my lap. You can also have her help out too, grabbing diapers, or burp rags, holding the baby's hand while you change them, picking out books to read to both of them. One thing my 6yo loves it to take pictures of her siblings. Maybe one of those little kid cameras would be a fun way for your daughter to get involved in the baby. We also let them help pick out clothes and blankets and stuff when we go shopping for the baby, and my 6yo goes bonkers if I let her pick out her little sister's outfit for the day.
This is a good thing! Siblings are awesome. Keep that attitude FOR your daughter. She'll be able to tell if you feel like you're short-changing her by having a baby, and she may adopt the same attitude. Keep thinking of it as a gift for her too. And when the inevitable fits do come post baby, let her feel things and emote, then talk about them when she settles down.
The big sister luncheon is super cute! My advice is to completely involve her in the whole process...so she'll be eagerly awaiting baby's arrival.
Honestly, you won't really be able to judge how she reacts until baby is here. You never know, she might just be the best big sister ever!