Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Can we talk catheters?
My experience was painless. They put it in after my spinal, so I didn't even know when they did it. When they took it out it was an odd/slightly uncomfortable feeling, but definitely not painful. It took about 3 seconds and it was done.
This was something I was originally concerned about too, but it really wasn't a big deal.
I was terrified of the catheter. Absolutely petrified. And you know what? The nurse that put mine in was new to the job. She mucked it all up, and it hurt very badly. All I could do was squeeze my husband's hand and have him wipe the tears from my eyes.
But then, thankfully, the anesthesiologist came in, and the very apt decision was made to wait until the epidural. I'm not sure why she didn't wait in the first place.
My experience is probably a worst case scenario, but you can probably ask to have it after the epidural. Easy peasy that way.
This was basically my experience as well.
Same here.
Don't be afraid to ask the nurse about how things happen while you're getting ready. You can confirm that the catheter will be placed after your spinal.
I was really nervous about the catheter too. But, by the time they did it, I was so relieved! I was in labor for a few hrs before getting it and I kept feeling like I had to go to pee so often (DD was causing extra pressure at the time) that they finally decided to do it. I was still a little nervous, but I remember thinking "ahh, that's better", haha. For the first time in SO LONG I didn't feel like I needed to pee! haha.
I don't remember much about them removing it. I was so out of it after my cs that it's all a little foggy. I would think that I'd remember if it was painful though, so it must not have hurt.
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And HOPE does not dissappoint.
Romans 5:3-5
~Matt and Jen~
Married August 26, 2006
TTC since June 2008
Severe MFI
IVF #1 Feb. 2011 = BFN
IVF #2 (Long Lupron) May 2011 = BFP!!!
Our sweet little girl, born January 26, 2012
Time for #2!
IVF #1 (Long Lupron) July 2013 = BFP!!!
Beta #1 (8/1) 203! Beta #2 (8/8) 3,677! 1st u/s scheduled for 8/15!
Going in: never felt it. In the OR after I was numb.
Coming out: stung a little, but it was so quick, that it was seriously no worse than a shot/injection. Stinging, and then it was over.
Same for me.
My catheter was placed before I went down to the OR. The actual insertion didn't hurt, but the cleaning with the antiseptic burned for a little while. It didn't hurt at all when it was removed.
My c-section was at 8:45 a.m. The nurse who inserted the catheter said that it would be removed that evening, once I could walk without assistance. That didn't end up happening because I spent most of the day vomiting from the anesthesia used in the spinal block. Therefore, the catheter was left in until the following morning, so my urine output could be easily monitored/measured.
Hi, I am a nurse. Always ask your nurse to do things like this after your epi/spinal!
Mine was after my epi so I didn't feel it (during labor, it was an unplanned c section). They are there to make things the best than they can for you.
best of luck!
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
thelossblog.blogspot.com
People make such a big deal about the catheter going in AFTER the spinal, but I don't think it's a big deal AT ALL. Maybe it's just me.
I have had the catheter put in BEFORE my spinal all 3 times so far and while it "tickled" (for lack of a better word", it wasn't painful at all. When they took it out it was a little weird since I had gotten used to it, but not painful.
I had a similar experience to cherrycobbler.
I'm going to have my 4th c-section end of next month and the request to have the catheter put in after my spinal isn't even on my radar.
I think I already had the spinal in when they put it in... I don't know. I had an emergency c/s. Once the craziness calmed down and they realized they could do the spinal instead of knocking me out, I remember asking if we could wait for DH to get there and if I could at least go pee first. The anesthetist laughed and said I wouldn't have to worry about peeing. Oh. Yeah.
They took it out around 20 hours later. It was a little uncomfortable, but really quick and NBD.
I often see a lot of comments on here that people were stuck in bed for 24hrs because of the cath and IV. I was up walking around w/in 6 hours - the cath bag and IV on a pole. Don't let the cath keep you from getting up and moving.
ETA: Also, when they took it out I was afraid it would be like opening a flood gate and I would pee all over the place. Don't worry about that - your bladder is empty b/c of the cath!
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
If you have it done before the spinal it's not "supposed" to hurt - maybe be a little comfortable but for the most part they are supposed to be pretty painless. BUT the last 2 times i've had caths - and this last weekend I only did a cath sample for being admitted - they hurt me bad.
With DD2 it was more of an emergency c-section and they gave me the cath before going in the OR during horrible contractions - I screamed out but it was pretty quick. It felt like they were scraping me all the way up inside to place it.
During the samle they took with a cath last weekend - OMG. They said I was so swollen in there they couldn't get to my bladder. They did the cath 5 different times with 3 nurses. One nurse literally held me open with both of her hands while another tried different tubes. My body was shaking from pain and I had tears. Once they finally got the sample they came and checked on me 2 different times. I was bleeding from it all.
My RCS is on Tues and I already told them I refuse to allow them to put it in until after my spinal. Especially still being swollen in there. I had no idea I was swollen at all - they were the ones who told me that. So, if you have a situation like mine, you will definetly want to ask for it after the spinal is placed!
Same here. I had the anesthesia before the catheter and never felt it. The nurse who removed it told me to take a deep breath in and then out as she removed it. Honestly didn't hurt at all.
word-for-word... this
This.
I didn't feel anything. They put in catheter after my spinal. And when they took it out, I didn't feel much either, and it was so fast.
I was really worried about peeing on myself after it was taken out...but I never did, I felt the sensation whenever I had to go to the bathroom. But the first time I did have to get up walk to bathroom, I needed help. I couldn't walk on my own, and for some reason I got very dizzy.
Yes, this exactly. I was really worried about it too but honestly it wasn't bad at all.