Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Rdautenhahn
member
Re: Vent? Advice? I'm at my wits end...
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
My son became a decent sleeper around 10-12 months old. Then he got molars. EVERY 30 MINUTES all night long. he would pass out and wake up screaming bloody murder. Have you checked for any teeth?
you are NOT a bad mom. I had a kid who NEVER slept, literally. He has medical issues and he did not sleep for 8 months and screamed all day and night. Sleep exhaustion is a form of torture. give yourself a break. see if someone can come watch him so you can take a good nap.
Thanks. I just about lost it yesterday. I felt like the only thing I did all day was try to get him to sleep or nap, but instead he just screamed bloody murder. Today is a bit better of a day, but has still spent half his waking hours mad.
If you have anyone that can take him for a few hours (friends, family, kennel), get away from him for a while and sleep.
Waking that often is torture. Literally. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to put him down and take a break when you're about to lose it.
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I know exactly how you feel! I went through that exact stuff with my daughter. It was a miracle after her ear tubes!! 7 months of screaming and late night car rides. We even when to Wal-Mart at 1am to buy a swing because it was the only way to calm her. She slept in the swing for weeks. literally. No you are not a bad or horrible mom!! Its totally normal to feel that way! I remember feeling useless because I could not help her. A few times I left her in her crib to cry so I could go cry. I knew she was safe in her crib and I had the monitor on low. Sometimes mommies need a time out. Even at 2am...
I hope it works for you too!
Good luck!
My son used to get terrible ear infections. I took him to the chiropracter and told them and after visiting the chriopracter a few times he didn't have another one for a year. I urge you to try that out!
It's hard and sounds like you need some support and help. Do you have family that could come over and give you some breaks?
Holy heck, that would bring even the best mother to their knees. You're not a bad mom at all. Lack of sleep and a baby that is hard to console certainly makes for someone having a tough time being cheery and wanting to be with the baby. I know I feel that way at times with fewer problems.
Hugs. No real advice, but hoping things get better once the surgery happens and your baby gets some relief. Try to get breaks when dh gets home and don't feel guilty about it. I would take my LOs for a walk when things got bad. They tended to not cry on walks and I felt a little bit like I was having a break since they were facing forward and forgot I was there.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
Thank yOu so much ladies. This morning I am so tired, I'm nauseated. I'm really hoping things look up soon. And to answer a few questions, I don't really have a support system, I'm a SAHM and the air force moved us to this city. My closest family is 3 hours away. I try to go to play groups and such to meet others, but I guess I'm not that assertive. My husband is a great help when he is home, but it's just during the night. Naps have gotten better during the day because honestly for these past few days I'm just letting him exhaust himself, instead of trying to get him down at the first sign of tired. It's too disheartening to sit and rock, nurse, wear him and nothing works and he just cries.
Thanks for the replies, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.