June 2011 Moms

Evening Temper Tantrums I Know You're Jealous Of

Long story short: my DH was gone for 10 days on business and my DD and I had 10 days just the two of (she will went to DC, but you know what I mean).

Now, DH is back and we've resumed our normal routine, except our DD is not onboard. She is okay in the morning (after 11 hours of sleep) and okay all day at DC, but from the time DH picks her up (4:30 pm) to the time she goes to sleep (8 pm) She. Is. A. Whiney. Sobbing. Awful. Nightmare. 

She is extremly temperamental in the evening - we're going 4 days straight of this. Old standbys - going outside, walks, pacifiers, sippies, snacks, special toys, reading, wresting - do not cure this mood for more than a minute.

She's not teething, she's not sick, she's not hungry/thirsty - and not acting like that all day at DC. She goes from fine to MAJOR TEMPER TANTRUM in 30 seconds flat.

What gives? Is she hating on DH now (she refuses him if i'm around)? How can I make her a happy peaceful baby again? How long can this last?  At a total loss.... HELP!

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Re: Evening Temper Tantrums I Know You're Jealous Of

  • I have no advice since I am in the same boat except DH doesn't get home until almost bed time do he doesn't get to share in the joy. I just keep telling myself it is just a phase.
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  • Is she taking good naps?  If my DS skips his afternoon nap he is a mess in the evenings.
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  • Ash was like this for MH when I went back to work. Ash spent all day with me for 2 months, then he started going to DC and Daddy picks him up and spends a few hours alone with him until I get home. He was whiny and had mood swings like crazy. It took some time (maybe a week and a half or 2) but now Ash seems to love Daddy time. I think it was just a response to the change, and was worse as he got tired and closer to bed time, which happened to coincide with Daddy time.

    He also started ignoring me when I told him no, I think as a punishment for going back to work. So maybe she is expressing her displeasure with his 10 day absence. 

    Sorry I don't have an instant fix, my only answer is to give it time.

  • This is a normal developmental stage when they are transistioning from two naps to one. During the transition period they become total terrors in the evening. Once they fully transition it should go away.
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  • We were going through the same thing last week. Ugh. I am now putting him to bed earlier and it is extending his night sleep. Now he sleeps more overnight, takes less naps during the day and goes to bed earlier. Much better for everyone.
  • I think we are kind of in the same boat.  Stella is a moody little thing in the evening.  Not always immediately after DH picks her up from daycare, but as soon as she sees me, she wants nothing to do with him and will have a fit if she can't get to me right away.  And her overall demeanor for the rest of the evening is a bit on the crabby as hell side.
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  • imagekas80:
    This is a normal developmental stage when they are transistioning from two naps to one. During the transition period they become total terrors in the evening. Once they fully transition it should go away.
    Yup! It's the stage we are in right now.
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  • We were going through the same thing last week. Ugh. I am now putting him to bed earlier and it is extending his night sleep. Now he sleeps more overnight, takes less naps during the day and goes to bed earlier. Much better for everyone.
  • Our tantrum time has nothing to do with DH, just the time of day.  Every day around 5 DD because a mess.  It seems to be a combination of things - she's been awake from her nap for an hour or more and is getting a little bored, she's anticipating dinner time and wants to eat (she'll sign it a million times and has a snack around 4 so I don't think she's truly hungry), and she's just tired.  Also I'm cooking at this time so she gets under my feet or annoyed I'm not paying attention to her.  Once DH comes home at 6 and we eat she seems much happier until bedtime.
  • Read "Kazdin Method".  It's one of the few parenting books based on science.

    The most important thing is to give lots of positive attention when the kid is not tantruming and is behaving in the manner you desire.

     The instant the kid shows any sign of starting a tantrum, turn away and don't say a word.  Ok to walk away and do chores.  You can watch the kid out of the corner of your eye,  better to pretend to ignore the kid that to actually ignore.  The kid will be looking over to see if you are paying attention.

    When the kid shows some self-control specifically praise that self-control.

    Tantrums may get worse for a short period before they get better, but this will work if you keep it up for a week or two.

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