November 2012 Moms

Writing a birth plan

Are any of you having an actual written birth plan? Several of my friends have said they're just discussing their wishes with their partner and dr beforehand but not actually having a written plan.

Well, my OB's office is the type where you rotate through all of the doctors so that whichever one is on call the day you deliver you've at least met before, and that makes me feel like I need to have it in writing because there's no telling who might be the one delivering my baby and it very well be the doc from my 16 week appointment before I even knew what kind of birth I wanted. Granted, I feel comfortable with all of the doctors in my office....I just don't really know how much they pay attention to a written birth plan or if they're just going to ask me on the spot anyways? 

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Re: Writing a birth plan

  • My OB's office is the same.  I hadn't thought about it until you brought it up.  I've been talking about it with DH, but now I feel I should at least make an list of the things we would like.  That way, I can have it there with me, if needed.

     

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  • FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.
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  • I'm not sure how official I am going to put things in writing... maybe just the things I feel the strongest about?

    My OB office is the same as yours, rotating about 4 doctors. 

     

    But I am going to look this over with my husband. The Bump has a great resource for a Fill-in-the-blank birth plan. Lots of things that I wouldn't have considered since I'm a FTM. 

     https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/tool-birth-plan.aspx

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  • imageQuintonsMummah:
    Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    Yes Word.

    1) Make it to the hospital

    2) Let Drs do what they need to

    3) (Hopefully) Get an epi

    4) Deliver whatever way is best for baby & I

     

    Some ladies 'birth plans' make me laugh- so friggin' detailed. Seriously, some of them are pages long... REALLY?!

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  • I am not sure what they mean by birth plan anyway. I just want to whatever we need to so me and the baby are safe. Maybe it;s more for people that want natural birth, or med free, but I am not picky. I am sure my doctor may ask me here at my next appointment, but if anyone can tell me why you do one, I would appreciate it. Thanks
  • Nah. I don't really feel its necessary. My OB office is the same, 10 docs you get whoever is on call. I think their plan and my plan is pretty much the same. Granted I like my practice because its no frill no fuss nothing over the top or out of the box cut and dry.

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  • I wasn't going to do a Birth Plan, even though, let me assure you, I could write the shiiitt out of one Wink... then yesterday, at my 28 wk appt, I was completely thrown back when my MW was like, "Okay, so I think it's time that you get on this website called The Bump Huh? and they have a birth plan template. I want you and [DH] to go through and fill one out. Blah blah blah"

     

    So now I'm just like.... Confused How detailed does she want this to be??? I pretty much have the same philosophy as other PPs: get baby out alive and I'd like to be alive at the end too. However, there are things that I'd prefer to have or not have happen, but I'm not going to be devastated if they don't happen that way. Now having to write a birth plan makes me feel like it may be more likely that I feel let down if something doesn't happen how I wanted.

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  • imageQuintonsMummah:
    FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    I agree for the most part. There's just a few things that I have more stuck in my mind. I had an AWFUL L&D process the last go around so it's more of just avoiding a few of the things that happened last time. I looked at TB template and it just seemed WAY to intense and detailed for me.

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  • imageLovely Lauren:

    imageQuintonsMummah:
    FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    I agree for the most part. There's just a few things that I have more stuck in my mind. I had an AWFUL L&D process the last go around so it's more of just avoiding a few of the things that happened last time. I looked at TB template and it just seemed WAY to intense and detailed for me.

    I'm just curious, what kind of things? Were they things that really didn't need to be done or had other options & were never discussed with you first?

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  • imageLovely Lauren:

    imageQuintonsMummah:
    FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    I agree for the most part. There's just a few things that I have more stuck in my mind. I had an AWFUL L&D process the last go around so it's more of just avoiding a few of the things that happened last time. I looked at TB template and it just seemed WAY to intense and detailed for me.

    I'm just curious, what kind of things? Were they things that really didn't need to be done or had other options & were never discussed with you first?

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  • imagerrcraz7:
    imageLovely Lauren:

    imageQuintonsMummah:
    FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    I agree for the most part. There's just a few things that I have more stuck in my mind. I had an AWFUL L&D process the last go around so it's more of just avoiding a few of the things that happened last time. I looked at TB template and it just seemed WAY to intense and detailed for me.

    I'm just curious, what kind of things? Were they things that really didn't need to be done or had other options & were never discussed with you first?

    I think the majority of it had to do with me being very young and naive to what exactly was going to happen when I had DD1. I was talked into being induced, first of all, when I wasn't even dilated or effaced at all. And I'm sure that's what made my L&D so difficult because my body simply wasn't ready to give birth yet, but when I wasn't progressing at the rate that they wanted to see the doctor decided to manually dilate my cervix with a balloon type device. I swear that was the single most horrifying thing that I've ever gone through. Worst. Pain. Ever. And they didn't even offer me any other choices, when actually there are a lot of other ways to try to help labor progress. And then my epi didn't work on my entire right side so they started pumping me full of IV pain meds which did nothing for the pain but made me extremely loopy and "high" if you want to call it that and I have no desire to feel that way ever again. And then I pushed for two hours before they finally intervened and used the vacuum, totally for a 2 and a half hour push time......things like that just seem unnecessary. Needless to say, there were a lot of things that didn't go well, but 49 and a half hours labor DD and I were alive and healthy and I know that's what matters most, I would just rather avoid a lot of the things that happened last time. 

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  • imageLovely Lauren:
    imagerrcraz7:
    imageLovely Lauren:

    imageQuintonsMummah:
    FI knows what our plan is, so no need for us to write it all down. Get LO out as quickly and safely as possible and me getting an epi. That's about it for us.

    I agree for the most part. There's just a few things that I have more stuck in my mind. I had an AWFUL L&D process the last go around so it's more of just avoiding a few of the things that happened last time. I looked at TB template and it just seemed WAY to intense and detailed for me.

    I'm just curious, what kind of things? Were they things that really didn't need to be done or had other options & were never discussed with you first?

    I think the majority of it had to do with me being very young and naive to what exactly was going to happen when I had DD1. I was talked into being induced, first of all, when I wasn't even dilated or effaced at all. And I'm sure that's what made my L&D so difficult because my body simply wasn't ready to give birth yet, but when I wasn't progressing at the rate that they wanted to see the doctor decided to manually dilate my cervix with a balloon type device. I swear that was the single most horrifying thing that I've ever gone through. Worst. Pain. Ever. And they didn't even offer me any other choices, when actually there are a lot of other ways to try to help labor progress. And then my epi didn't work on my entire right side so they started pumping me full of IV pain meds which did nothing for the pain but made me extremely loopy and "high" if you want to call it that and I have no desire to feel that way ever again. And then I pushed for two hours before they finally intervened and used the vacuum, totally for a 2 and a half hour push time......things like that just seem unnecessary. Needless to say, there were a lot of things that didn't go well, but 49 and a half hours labor DD and I were alive and healthy and I know that's what matters most, I would just rather avoid a lot of the things that happened last time. 

    I'm sorry your experience was so unpleasant. Thank you for answering, I hope this time around is much better for you!

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  • I was initially going to write a birth plan, but I have ended up having such a complicated pregnancy and having interventions that I never imagined....so I feel like now I will just go with the flow, and trust that my doctor's know what they're doing and will listen to me in the moment about any choices that I am able to make, when/if unexpected circumstances arise.
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  • imageLovely Lauren:

    Are any of you having an actual written birth plan? Several of my friends have said they're just discussing their wishes with their partner and dr beforehand but not actually having a written plan.

    Well, my OB's office is the type where you rotate through all of the doctors so that whichever one is on call the day you deliver you've at least met before, and that makes me feel like I need to have it in writing because there's no telling who might be the one delivering my baby and it very well be the doc from my 16 week appointment before I even knew what kind of birth I wanted. Granted, I feel comfortable with all of the doctors in my office....I just don't really know how much they pay attention to a written birth plan or if they're just going to ask me on the spot anyways? 

    What I'm about to say may not be totally popular and I'm prepared for that.  Lauren- I had a complete induction and a fairly traumatic labor as a result.  Like you, I have no desire to repeat that.  I've hired a doula this time because, while I trust my doctor, I don't trust the nursing staff.  They're the ones present for 98% of your labor and who make the most decisions without consulting the doctor.  My doula and I have outlined a plan and I'm pretty specific as to the things I'm looking for.  We've also rated a plethora of interventions and how I feel about them. For example:  I won't budge on delayed cord clamping, but if I need it, I'll get an epidural.  I don't want to use narcotics.  Under no circumstances will I accept cytotek, I have a plan for induction if I carry past 42 weeks.  I don't want to be checked for progression every hour and prefer to be checked only by the delivering physician when making rounds.  I don't want an internal monitor used because it scarred my daughter's head.  Things like that.  I've hired a doula because I don't want to dealing with people while I'm trying to labor; she talks to hubbs and he talks to nurses/doc.  The average labor lasts longer than the average nursing shift.  I think it's a bit naive to expect that doctors and multiple nurses are going to look at your birth plan and actually know what it says.  However, my doula, who will be present during my entire labor, has a written plan and she can refer to it at any time.  I've discussed my concerns with my physician and she has a general idea of what I'm expecting and is aware of the things most important to me.

    During my last delivery, I went in trusting everyone and that they were going to do what's best for me and my baby.  Sadly, I learned the hard way how naive my thinking was.  I encourage you ladies to look at an example of a birth plan and talk to STMs and figure out what you're okay with and what you aren't.  There are more interventions than just types of pain medications and I suggest being aware of them.  I don't mean to scare anyone or to sound pushy, I just want to encourage each of you to be educated in your decisions.



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  • I think writing a birth plan is like writing down your reasons before asking your boss for a raise, or confronting a friend whose pissed you off. It's more for the mom to sit down and think about the options and scenarios, maybe to get a dialogue started with doctor or hubby. But I'm guessing doctors don't refer to them once labor starts, and they don't hold you to it. 

     It's easy to write "I would like a totally natural birth and will be humming "You are My Sunshine" as she begins to crown." But when sh*t gets real, that plan will be thrown out the window.

  • imageshadetree:

    I think writing a birth plan is like writing down your reasons before asking your boss for a raise, or confronting a friend whose pissed you off. It's more for the mom to sit down and think about the options and scenarios, maybe to get a dialogue started with doctor or hubby. But I'm guessing doctors don't refer to them once labor starts, and they don't hold you to it. 

     It's easy to write "I would like a totally natural birth and will be humming "You are My Sunshine" as she begins to crown." But when sh*t gets real, that plan will be thrown out the window.

    Hahahahaha! That just made me literally laugh out loud. Humming you are my sunshine.....classic. Lol 

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  • I won't be writing one, because of my (quite unpopular) outlook on giving birth.

    Yes, my body is designed to have a baby, but I am not an expert in it.  My area of expertise is procurement of lodging for government and healthcare contractors, as well as assessment of real property value.  This is the area where I spend the most time, have trained in, and feel most confident.

    Doctors, midwives, and nurses are experts in labor and delivery.  They have trained, gone to school, and in many cases have been doing this longer than I have been alive.  They spend all of their time helping women have healthy pregnancies and give birth.  Do they make mistakes?  Sometimes.  Do I ever mess up at my job?  Sure do.  But I wouldn't expect them to price a condo for me, so why would I tell them how to do their job?

    A lot of it comes down to that I trust my hospital and I trust my doctors.  I think that trust and understanding goes much further than a birth plan.

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  • I have the rotating doctor group too, they actually gave me a form birth plan to fill out. It's not very detailed but has the basics and then some comfort factor items on it.
    I too figure they went to school for this, they do it day in and day out and know more about delivering a baby than I do. Not to say they are perfect, but to the extent they need to do what they need to do to get my baby out and us both remain healthy in the process, that's what matters most for me. If something doesn't go according to what I write down, it's not the end of the world.
  • imageironmom5:

    I won't be writing one, because of my (quite unpopular) outlook on giving birth.

    Yes, my body is designed to have a baby, but I am not an expert in it.  My area of expertise is procurement of lodging for government and healthcare contractors, as well as assessment of real property value.  This is the area where I spend the most time, have trained in, and feel most confident.

    Doctors, midwives, and nurses are experts in labor and delivery.  They have trained, gone to school, and in many cases have been doing this longer than I have been alive.  They spend all of their time helping women have healthy pregnancies and give birth.  Do they make mistakes?  Sometimes.  Do I ever mess up at my job?  Sure do.  But I wouldn't expect them to price a condo for me, so why would I tell them how to do their job?

    A lot of it comes down to that I trust my hospital and I trust my doctors.  I think that trust and understanding goes much further than a birth plan.

     

    Sadley to some it is just a job and they want to get you in and out as fast as possible. Remember healthcare is also a business. I am writing a birth plan (the hospital gave me a template themselves) because I have preferences. Obviously the main goal is a healthy baby and momma but there are some better ways than others to achieve that. I also don't  want them giving LO formula or pacifiers that cold interfere with latching without my consent. Just like parenting there are many ways to go about caring for you and your LO during labour and what works for you  might not be what first comes to your nurses mind. 

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