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Blended Families
You know what else is annoying?
The way he's always 'the court order says you need to do this and this and this and if you don't you're a terrible mother and I'm telling my lawyer on you!'
Its annoying because he refuses to follow the court order himself OR he misinterprets the holy heck out of it in order to fit his agenda.
Ten more years:;deep breath::ten more years...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: You know what else is annoying?
Why be annoyed? Tell him "if you want to contact your lawyer, be my guest."
He is getting what he wants from you ATTENTION. Stop giving it to him if you want things to change.
That's what is so annoying though. The more I ignore him the worse he gets. I've just had a blissful sumer of not dealing with him and now he's back to being the world's largest thorn in my azz.
He is currently appealing his 2nd lost bid for custody. We've been in court for nearly 2 1/2 years. He actually sent his lawyer a letter (who of course then sent it to mine) whining that I hadn't answered a question that he never even actually asked me.
I do know that he's never going to change and my reaction to him is the only thing I can control. Sometimes my ability to deal with him runs short and I just need to vent.
Sorry, I don't buy it. I think he isn't going to change because he knows that eventually you will cave. He knows with you, he's got to kick it up a notch or two and then you'll cave. Eventually you always cave or react the way he wants you to.
So stop it.
When he gets like this, say in your most bored voice. "Fine. You know my lawyer's number and address. Call him or send him letter. Thank you."
That's all. Repeat it. Repeat it. Repeat it.
And then have your lawyer deal with it. When he inquires about his latest crap, say in your most bored voice, "Oh, I don't know. Has your lawyer talked to my lawyer? I suggest you call your lawyer. Want to talk to your son/daugther? No? Okay, well then I have a roast burning in the oven. Gotta go! Bye."
And then hang up.
That's how you deal with persistent pricks.
There's nothing to buy. After 9 1/2 years of dealing with the same exact sh!t from him the only thing I can do is ignore him. It doesn't stop his behavior but it stops the back & forth. It has been years since I last spoke to him on the phone. I just need to vent after his really long harrassing emails. Stupid people are frustrating.
And if he thought I was going to cave he wouldn't be spending 10s of thousands of dollars in court. The fact that we've been in court since last summer has only made things worse b/c he's trying to get me to screw up so he can bring it to court.
When the judge left custody with me and reduced his visitation he took it out on me, now that he is appealing the decision he is once again baiting me to try and get me to screw up. Not that it would matter for the appeal but he has no idea how that works-though he thinks he knows everything.
The problem with this one is that he isn't just your average run of the mill vindictive a-hole. He has serious mental problems.
The only thing that would have stopped him is if I would have remained single until DS was an adult and done absolutely every single thing the ex mandated. But I had to go and stand my ground and then I made the ultimate mistake of getting married.