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Single Parents
Becoming a Single Parent soon...
Hi everyone,
I've been lurking a bit recently and have decided to introduce myself in order to receive support from women who are going/have gone through similar circumstances.. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my 1st child and filed for divorce last week. My husband whom I have been with since I was 15, and married for 6 years (anniversary ironically this Sunday) has been cheating on me with a coworker of ours (we work together).. I found messages between them for the first time last October, again in March, then found her spending the night at his petsitting job twice in the last month. I desperately wanted to work things out for our family and everything we have together, but he has decided he is in love with her and cannot bear to be with me any longer. I'm so hurt and lost... This isn't the man that I married; it was never an abusive relationship and we've always had so much fun and shared so many amazing times. I'm having the hardest time letting go, but I have a beautiful baby girl joining us in 6 weeks and I need to be strong for her. ANY encouragement or similar stories or anything would be so amazing to hear. I have a lot of support but nobody that I know has ever gone through something so life-shattering. I'm hoping to get to a place where I can move forward, and when/if he finally realizes what a terrible mistake he's made, I can reject him and do what's best for my daughter.
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Re: Becoming a Single Parent soon...
I'm so sorry you're going through this
Its just not fair. My exh of 12yrs ended up cheating on me and it was abusive and the only reason I stayed away was because authorities threatened to take my kids if I stayed. It was a godsend in the end..2 yrs later I met what I thought was the man I'd been looking for. I got pregnant fast and he even put in an offer on a bigger house for all of us (I have 3 kids from my exh, oldest lives with him and I have our 2 youngest) but when I was around 20weeks he started acting funny and low n behold he was cheating 
Aren't there ANY good men left in the world? UGH This new babys father wants nothing to do with us and he even has his new girlfriend of a couple months pregnant now too. Its the hurt of the LIES he fed me knowing what I went through, I don't even miss him but I wanted that family life again. I'm happier now tbh and so excited to have this baby, she will be my 4th and last.
I think you will be okay hun, leaving is never easy. I know it hurts like hell but you working with him will make you stronger as a person. You will learn to deal with emotions, not that you are supposed to hide them away but you will be able to look him in the face and just KNOW you are better than him and you deserve better than him. These men can walk around spreading the seed and then don't want to own up, makes me sick. Do nice things for yourself, go get a mani/pedi or buy a new item of makeup..get a nice haircut after baby comes. You deserve to treat yourself
Things will be hard but you will just get through them and make it out just fine xo
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I basically went through the same thing when my son was 1.5. My ex left me and I found out a few days later that he was seeing his coworker. He lives with her now a year later.
All I can say is it gets easier and life goes on. It will be hard at first but you will get through it and be just fine. You don't need him.
It will be hard but you need to get a lawyer to protect your rights. You need to file for primary custody with him getting visitation. The good news is when your child is under three you have the upper hand because the child needs to bond with one primary caregiver which will be you. You don't even need to give your ex overnights until your child is three or older. Especially if you breastfeed your child cannot be away from you for overnights. I'm not sure what your situation is financially but you will need to file for child support and possibly alimony depending on your circumstances.
You will need your family during this first at least few months. I hope you have parents or other close family that can help you deal with all of this. It was hard enough when my son was 1.5. I can only imagine how hard if it was a newborn.
A good book to get is called Surviving the Loss of Love. It is a great little guide book with poems and simple advice that helps you go through the steps of the healing process. I highly recommend it.
I would try to get the custody and divorce papers filled out with a lawyer and have them ready to go when the baby is born. That way you don't have to deal with all of that plus taking care of a newborn.
Been there, done that. My XH was engaged to the homewrecker a couple of months after the baby was born. It is hard, no doubt. You should consider going to counseling. At some point hopefully you will be able to look in the mirror and say, "I deserve better."
I'm sorry to say this, but you need to file for divorce. Let this loser go, and focus on you and the baby. Your DD needs you to model a healthy realtionship for her, and you sure as hell won't get that by trying to work things out with this cheater.
I feel your pain. I am going through the SAME thing. My ex boyfriend of 5 years got another women pregnant and did not tell me about it untill TWO days after his son was born w/ her. While i stuck around to be there for him things were tough and then i got pregnant in Jan. Now i am 31 weeks and just found out that he married the women he cheated on me and wants full custody of my child. believe me there other women who are going through much worse but at the end of the day all you have to think about is your little one. That is the only person that you should be worried about. Let him take his lost and you be happy with your baby. i know its much easier said then done, but i feel that everything that happends is because God knows what he is doing. We may not see it now but in the long run we will be the better out come!
praying for you!