And another cycle begins

SopranoMama · August 2012

So I'm officially in my 3rd cycle TTCAL. Ugh. I know that some of you ladies have been trying for significantly longer, I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

We conceived on our first cycle trying before the mc, so entering the 3rd cycle is hitting me a little hard. I keep thinking about "where I should have been" and it's really starting to weigh me down. I was ecstatic when AF came for the first time after the mc, really feeling like it was a new beginning... AF#2 wasn't so bad, a little bit of a bummer, but nothing I couldn't handle... AF#3 feels like crap. Yesterday was CD1 and it was pretty much my roughest day in a month.

Now I'm terrified that each subsequent cycle is just going to be harder and harder... I hate that this mc has sucked the joy out of TTC. I'm so glad to have you ladies as a support system (other people just don't seem to 'get it') but I hate that any of us have to be here.

Thanks for letting me vent! Cookies and Wine for anyone who made it through that!

*Edit... I had an awesome photo... and I can't get it to attach. Such is my week*

AudUy · August 2012

I'm sorry that your period returned. I have found that the first day or two of a cycle is the hardest and then I slowly fill with hope again. Some cycles are harder than others.

I also conceived on my first cycle but it eventually lead to a miscarriage. I think some people have a body that can immediately handle another pregnancy but my body needs time to rest and recover. Perhaps your body is the same. You and I will get there yet. Twenty percent chance each cycle. It's just a matter of time.

bananers · August 2012

Sorry, hon. I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but I definitely reached a point around cycle 4 or 5 that it started to get easier in some ways. I'm feeling more hopeless overall, but cd1 is easier to take because I've come to expect it. We too got pg on the first try the first time around so the first few TTCAL cycles' BFNs were the hardest to take. Hopefully you don't have to find out for yourself, though, and this next time is a charm for you! FX

Rachaeleigh · August 2012

So sorry AF showed her ugly face.

anitaflora · August 2012

Sorry CD 1 showed up :. Lots of luck for next time I know how hard it can be ..: give yourself time and permission to be pissed and sad about it whatever you're feeling. But don't give up on hope either. Unfortunately sometimes it just takes time nothing wrong just patience. ugh how I hate having to be patient!. Good luck.

Jenibug05 · August 2012

I'm so sorry you are going through this and AF showed up. We conceived on the second cycle before the m/c and I just started my first AF Saturday so we're officially TTC. I'm worried about how long it will take as well as I know it's pretty lucky to get a BFP within the first few cycles of the first time..

Good luck on this next cycle. My T & P are with you.

SunshinyLees · August 2012

I know exactly how you feel. We are also on our third month ttc afer my mc and I'm also feeling pretty bummed about it. AF arrived two days ago and 4 days earlier than expected which was the shortest cycle I've ever experienced. We were lucky as well to get our bfp on our first try, so I know how hard it bites each cycle that passes. Yesterday I also had the worst day, thankfully the 2 chocolate bars and bottle of wine I guzzled helped and I've woken up today feeling a little more optimistic and excited to try again this next cycle.

I know in my heart that we will get our rainbow babies, we just have to be patient and believe that it will happen when the time is right.

Baby dust to you! I hope you have a better day today! Left Hug

Lees xx

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