I have a question for any kindergarden/early ed teachers

karleegirl · August 2012

ds2 is starting kindergarden next week. He has some learning issues and anxiety issues and I'm not sure how to talk to the teacher about it.

To sum up quickly he has anxiety about learning new things and shuts down and cries when he doesn't pick up things quickly. He has a hard time following multi step instructions as well.

His 4k teacher told me to tell the teachers immediatly that he has issues with multi step directions so they can tell him one thing at a time. She said I should also tell them he has some anxiety issues. My mom who was a kindergarden assistant for 28 years told me to be careful telling them there is something "wrong" with him from the start. She thinks I should let them evaluate him theirselves. She thinks he'll be labeled quickly as well.

I'm so worried about him because he HATES anything learning related. He cried before going to preschool this year almost every morning. As soon as school was over he stopped and enjoyed going to the same place (functions like a summer camp/daycare).

I'm just not sure what to do for him. Any suggestions teachers?

pitterpatter129 · August 2012

I teach 1st grade and unlike your mother, I think you should tell the teachers everything you just said here right off the bat. I'm sure his teacher will notice anxiety issues and issues following steps within a few days anyhow, if not in the first five minutes when he has a meltdown. There are a lot of strategies that can be used the in classroom to help students with these issues and as a teacher, I'd rather know sooner so I can do everything in my power to help that student start the year off on the "right foot". Yes, if the problems persist, your child's teacher may refer him to a team for further ideas on how to help him. We call it "child study team" at my school. Students are not "labeled" immediately with any sort of issue/disorder. The team simply suggests ideas for the teacher to try to help the child that he/she might not have thought of on her own. Then if the issues persist, the team may decide the child needs to be evaluated for special services, tested for a learning issue, or refered for counseling. At that point, the parents would obviously be heavily involved in all decisions made about their child. The earlier a child recieves help from a teacher in the classroom (or outside services if needed) the more likely they are to be successful in school, which is what I would hope every parent and teacher would want for a child.

MNgirl326 · August 2012

pitterpatter129:

I teach 1st grade and unlike your mother, I think you should tell the teachers everything you just said here right off the bat. I'm sure his teacher will notice anxiety issues and issues following steps within a few days anyhow, if not in the first five minutes when he has a meltdown. There are a lot of strategies that can be used the in classroom to help students with these issues and as a teacher, I'd rather know sooner so I can do everything in my power to help that student start the year off on the "right foot". Yes, if the problems persist, your child's teacher may refer him to a team for further ideas on how to help him. We call it "child study team" at my school. Students are not "labeled" immediately with any sort of issue/disorder. The team simply suggests ideas for the teacher to try to help the child that he/she might not have thought of on her own. Then if the issues persist, the team may decide the child needs to be evaluated for special services, tested for a learning issue, or refered for counseling. At that point, the parents would obviously be heavily involved in all decisions made about their child. The earlier a child recieves help from a teacher in the classroom (or outside services if needed) the more likely they are to be successful in school, which is what I would hope every parent and teacher would want for a child.

all of this. You are your child's advocate, and you want your child to have the best experience possible. I hate it when there is something I don't know and as a teacher I have to guess what is going on. I wish more parents would just be up front with me.

THe more the lines of communication are with you and the teacher, the better experience you all will have.

Good luck!

MammaBear81 · August 2012

I agree with the others that you should say something. Did they miss this at his kindergarten screening? My older boys have had services when they were younger and I'm very up front with their teachers about what the issues are and what works for them. Unfortunately not all teachers are the best, DS1 had a wonderful kindergarten teacher and he thrived well with her, but his 1st grade teacher "labeled" him and wrote him off, I spent the entire year fighting with her that my child wasn't stupid. Even with that experience, I am still going to have a discussion with his 2nd grade teacher and hopefully it will go better than last year! Sorry to give the negative perspective, I've just seen both sides of the fence!

stdldb29 · August 2012

Tell the teacher, ask to meet with her the first week or so--not at meet the teacher or open house. Just tell her your concerns!

shaw · August 2012

Hmmmmmm? I would have to disagree. As a teacher with quite a bit of experience.....you get bombarded with parents at the beginning of the year. Most teachers want to get your child into a structured learning environment, get them into established routines, and evaluate them before getting an overload of information. I would wait maybe two weeks, then set up an appointment to meet with the teacher privately. The teacher is a professional so aske for her / his perspective. I am specialized in anxiety, add/ADHD, and ld.....and really the best thing you can do isnget them into a structured routine and bui,d confidence. Keep an open line of communication with the teacher but please give the teacher time to make a professional assessment.

GibsonGirl620 · August 2012

shaw:
Hmmmmmm? nbsp;I would have to disagree. nbsp;As a teacher with quite a bit of experience.....you get bombarded with parents at the beginning of the year. nbsp;Most teachers want to get your child into a structured learning environment, get them into established routines, and evaluate them before getting an overload of information. nbsp;I would wait maybe two weeks, then set up an appointment to meet with the teacher privately. nbsp;The teacher is a professional so aske for her / his perspective. nbsp;I am specialized in anxiety, add/ADHD, and ld.....and really the best thing you can do isnget them into a structured routine and bui,d confidence. nbsp;Keep an open line of communication with the teacher but please give the teacher time to make a professional assessment.

This. :

karleegirl · August 2012

Thanks ladies, interesting feedback. For the record I just want him helped. Dh and I know there is something wrong and don't know how to help him. His pediatrician said to wait till school started.
I know there are lots of great teachers but I've had some experiences with bad ones as well. My oldest is going to be a senior. He was treated badly at times because I was a single teen mom and for his add issues. When he was in Elementary school I didn't know how to advocate for him. I don't want to make the same mistakes with ds2.

karleegirl · August 2012

Quoting isn't working well on this dang mobile site. mamabear they didn't have a screening. I found that odd. I tried to get him into the public 4k last year and he was screened for that. It's need based in SC. He didn't qualify.

MammaBear81 · August 2012

karleegirl:
Quoting isn't working well on this dang mobile site. mamabear they didn't have a screening. I found that odd. I tried to get him into the public 4k last year and he was screened for that. It's need based in SC. He didn't qualify.

Wow, hopefully they have some sort of screening set up in the first few weeks of school then. Maybe you could call the school to find out? At the screening I was able to tell the school what services my kids have received, and what has worked well for them so far, but in the end a lot depends on the teacher (IME).

To the teachers above that said she shouldn't say something, if a child with special needs comes in your class you don't want to know about it ahead of time? Maybe I'm reading this wrong?

MNgirl326 · August 2012

shaw:
Hmmmmmm? I would have to disagree. As a teacher with quite a bit of experience.....you get bombarded with parents at the beginning of the year. Most teachers want to get your child into a structured learning environment, get them into established routines, and evaluate them before getting an overload of information. I would wait maybe two weeks, then set up an appointment to meet with the teacher privately. The teacher is a professional so aske for her / his perspective. I am specialized in anxiety, add/ADHD, and ld.....and really the best thing you can do isnget them into a structured routine and bui,d confidence. Keep an open line of communication with the teacher but please give the teacher time to make a professional assessment.

I think there is a big difference between coming in and bombarting the teacher with info and demands....and just saying heres a heads up on a couple things, they may go away now that he is in more formal school- but if it doesn't I just wanted to let you know i want to work together with you.

I think it is all in the approach and timing.

karleegirl · August 2012

We go to open house tonight. I may just try to gauge things and mention I may like to speak with her later.

I need help as well because I don't know how to deal with this anxiety from ds. I can't even try to teach him how to tie his shoe. I'll admit I thought he was just being a brat at first. I didn't handle it correctly. Big ol fat mama fail.

jgoetz1 · August 2012

I am a teacher and I think that open house isn't the right time to address it. I would give the teacher a heads up though and say that you'll be sending them an email to set up a time to address some concerns you have with regard to your child. This way you can have one on one time to discuss your concerns. In the first two weeks of school we usually just spend time establishing routines and getting to know our class. We don't start the academics right away, so this gives you some time to talk to her and for her to use it before making any groupings with the kids. Good luck and as a parent you will always be your child's best advocate! I hope he gets a wonderful, patient teacher this year who helps him to do his best in school.

kmz885 · August 2012

I would do what you're thinking of doing. Go to the open house and explain you have some concerns about your son that you would like to discuss at a more convenient time with his teacher.

I work with three year olds in a preschool environment so it's not as stressful as the public school environment (in my opinion) but even we appreciate being alerted when you notice something about your child. Not being able to follow multi step directions is a big deal because there is 1 teacher to 26-28 other children, so if s/he knows ahead of time that your son needs some extra attention that will make the first day that much easier for everyone. The good teachers out there know not to immediately label their students and to work with the student to help them achieve success.

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