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Adoption
greenteabee
member
Picking a couple....
greenteabee
member
in Adoption
Birthmoms here, when did you know that your child's parents were the couple? I kind of have this gut feeling about this one couple whose book I took home, but I don't know if I'm rushing into this or not. I'd really like to talk to them and get to know them, but I'm not sure if it's too soon.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Picking a couple....
I was certain the first time I spoke to the Amom on the phone. I didn't tell her right then (I mean, I hadn't even met the dad!), but it just felt right. But, by the time I met them, I was certain I was placing LO.
I think it would be really amazing of you to meet them, but don't tell them they're the one unless you're certain. They've waited a long time (probably) to have a child, and they'll most likely get invested emotionally quickly!
What I mean is that I think it has less to do with how far along you are in your pregnancy and more to do with how far you are towards making your decision to place. But your agency may have extra rules or something.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Srm said it perfectly. I choose DD's parents when I was about 2-3 months along. I knew the moment we met that they would be the parents to my child.
That's awesome news. I would say you should talk to them and if possible to meet them before deciding. Our BM told us during our first conversation that she wanted us to parent and we were so taken aback, since we didn't even know she was sent our profile. She just called us before our attorney had a chance to tell us. She did want to meet with us and we flew out to meet her a few weeks later. As I have stated before our BM doesn't really talk to much, but meeting her in person and the BF and BGrandma certainly made us more comfortable. Just curious what about this couple is really standing out for you?
Best of luck.
I don't really know, I was just drawn towards the couple of books I took home, and when I read them, they seemed most like me, and they just seemed cool.
Isn't it funny, the little thing that does it? What I liked best about LO's parents was that they're both musical, and I and Bdad were in a band together. They're also sensitive people, and Bdad is a sensitive guy that wasn't raised by a man who honored that characteristic in him. It was important to me that LO's parents not crush LO if he was sensitive.
So I suppose I also picked people who were kind of like me, but a whole lot more able to be parents!
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Sometimes the GUT is the best way to go.
I narrowed it down to two profiles and took those profiles home. Both couples looked like wonderful parents to their children that they were already parenting. After looking through both profiles many times, I went with the couple that just seemed to be most like my family. Even their home reminded me of my childhood home. Just as PP said, this is a time you go with your gut.
I met my birthson's parents when I was 5 months pregnant. I liked them right away. They were just as nervous as we were during that first meeting and although the conversations were a little awkward at first, we still felt comfortable with them. The more I got to know them, the more we liked them and the more comfortable I felt with doing an adoption plan.
IMO meeting them is not rushing into anything. You're not promising anything by meeting. You do not have to be absolutely certain about anything. No one can expect you to be at this point. As long as you are up front and honest about what you're thinking and where you are at, I don't see any problems. And the earlier you meet, the longer time you have to get to know each other. If that is what you want.