Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
marym94
member
Re: pros and cons of c-section
Pros: no risk of shoulder dystocia which can happen with large babies. Get to know the day you're meeting your baby. Avoid labor.
Cons: Ultrasounds can be inaccurate (even high tech ones can be off by 2lbs) and you could really be carrying a 7.5lb baby that you could have easily delivered naturally. You generally will recover from a vaginal delivery quicker and there are less risks to mom/baby involved. Can't hold your baby/breastfeed right way and you are separated while they finish your surgery/you have to be in recovery unlike a vaginal birth.
Hope that helps with your decision. GL!
There were several women on my BMB who had 10lb+ babies and had minimal tearing.
Pros: Your in and out (surgery wise--not hospital wise). Don't have to deal with all the craziness of labor (I was in labor for 16 hours and THEN had a csection).
Cons: Scar. Might not get to hold/see baby right away. Your on medicines so you'll feel...off. I really don't remember much of the day LO was born. Your recovery time could be longer and your more limited.
GL with whatever you choose to do.
Pros: less anxiety ( at least for me). I knew what day the c/s was scheduled and didn't have to worry about false labor, going in to soon, going in to late etc. It was all set out right there and I could prepare myself for what was going to happen
More time at hospital ( again this was a pro for me). I liked having more time to have the nurses help me and the baby and not worry about silly stuff like making sure our toilet was clean enough for guests to come over.
Cons: longer recovery time
scarring from incision
I suppose not being able to hold and breastfeed the baby, but we are taking a difference between no waiting and waiting 45 mintues.
This is a good post to read: https://birthsen.tmdhosting930.com/?p=1531
One of the most interesting studies she cites is one that shows that c/s is more likely if your provider suspects macrosomia than if they don't: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7485323
The biggest cons: Surgery comes with more risk than vaginal birth, you will be a VBAC candidate for any subsequent pregnancies (if you choose that route), the due date could be off (so you give birth to a younger baby than expected), and the weight estimate could be off, too.
You could have a traumatic vaginal birth, but that is less likely, statistically, than complications stemming from a c/s. And not to freak you out more, but a new study just came out showing 1 in 10 women get infections from c-sections (which is higher than previously thought): https://www.medicaldaily.com/news/20120801/11217/cesareans-infections-birth-pregnancy.htm#mDfMD1aVQDH5qKLK.99
I had a 10lb, 10 oz baby vaginally and my only complication was a second-degree tear. It was a faster recovery than my c-section (my big baby was a VBAC), though I still had to recover from it.
The best plan for suspected macrosomia is to go into labor on your own, and stay upright and active in labor as long as you can.
Good luck!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Good luck with your decision. Just remember that as scary as it all is now, chances are that either route will lead to a happy, healthy baby & mom in the end.
I had a breech baby and was told my LO was 10 lbs at a 37 week ultrasound. 2 weeks later, baby was born at just over 8 lbs. My c-section experience was pretty ideal and I recovered very quickly with no pain. In fact, I'm pretty sure my recovery was easier than most women I know who had vaginal deliveries. However, I still wouldn't choose a c-section because as FTM I really hate that I never experienced labor. I feel cheated, even though a healthy baby is the most important thing. Also, it took me forever to get out of the recovery because my pulse and BP went a little nuts from the anesthesia. While I was able to see my baby when she was born, I wasn't able to hold her or feed her for more than 3 hours despite begging the nurses to let me out of recovery earlier. My DH, while well-meaning, let all the grandparents hold her before me. I'm still incredibly upset about that, even though it didn't interfere with our bonding or feeding.
I'm not upset I had a c-section because it was safest for my LO, but if I have another I will do everything in my power to VBAC, as long as it's safe.
It's a tough decision. I had a c/s because DD was breech, and it was much easier than I anticipated.
I also had a 3rd degree tear with delayed healing after delivering DS, who was 7.5 lbs. He elbowed me on the way out--it had nothing to do with his size.