Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
tdmklm
member
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
My kid dislocated her elbow
She seemed fine right after it happend (last night around bedtime) but woke up about 5:30 A and refused to move her arms and was hysterical when anyone touched her arm. I took her in, they relocated it but she still seemed very tender. Xrays came back clean but they put a splint on and I have to follow up with ortho next Tuesday morning. ER pedi seems to think she may have jsut sprained it some as well and they would rather be cautious. I feel like a great big mommy fail. Oh and of course since it happened on my watch Ann is being a jerk about it.
ATP: the girls are doing a zillion times better than they were when they first came to us. I'm actually starting to like them : They start school in a couple of weeks, which we're all looking forward to!
Our surrogate had her first ultrasound last Friday! There was one gestational sac, a yolk sac and a tiny little fetal pole!!! We are heading down to OK in a little over a week for the next ultrasound. She has been quite sick over the last week, so I'm hoping that means everything is still progressing well. Her first beta was 256 but the second was only 346 so I'm still a tiny but nervous, although everything looked great at the ultrasound. Praying to see a strong heartbeat on the 27th!
IUI #2 (100 mg clomid and HCG trigger) - BFN
IUI #3 (Gonal-f and HCG trigger) - BFN
IVF #1 - 21 retrieved, 20 mature, 15 fertilized (ICSI), 2 d5 blasts transferred, 8 frozen - c/p
FET #1 - BFFN
FET #2 - BFN? c/p? Either way no baby
FET #3 - No shock...BFN
FET #4 - BFN :-(
Surgery and TTC cancelled - pursuing surrogacy
7/31/12 Surrogate got a +HPT!!!!
Not sure which category this Pregopotomus fits into, but THANK YOU for those definitions. I've wondered in the past.
At my last prenatal (first prenatal) with my Midwife, he offered to order an ultrasound to help ease my anxiety a little bit, especially since he couldn't find the HB on doppler (no surprise, I was only 8 weeks). I told him I was doing okay, but might take him up on it later. Yesterday I did. Scheduled for tomorrow at 4:30.
I'm not TOO concerned, but definitely enough. I mostly want to get it over with and see the little squirmy Sticky Bun and go back to breathing normally.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
So these babies are doing really well! We should have our NT results today so I will update once I know those. My m/s seems to be easing (still get some waves of nausea but it goes fairly quickly) and my kidney pain is gone. We have an appointment with my OB on Monday to confirm my cervix did ok this week. I am finally gaining weight every appointment now so that makes the OB and me very happy!
Oh and the greatest thing right now... I love food again!!!!
06/12 - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 15dpo - 256
Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
EDD 02/21/13
09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks.
I'm so sorry. I understand the guilt. JB had to get her first stitches because of a fall she took while she and I were on the playground. It was awful and I still feel bad. I hope Ann can see that the guilt you impose on yourself is probably worse than the actually injury and will leave you alone about it.
Oh, no! Poor Ky. Sending healing thoughts her way! And tell Ann to stop being a jerk. If you don't want to tell her, I can. *Humph*
2MommiesinOH - I am sorry about Ky's elbow. Nursemaids elbow is so common and can happen so easily. And boo to A for not being kind about it. Sigh.
ATP - everything is good in our land. Grayson woke up crying this morning at 3am saying his mouth hurt and he was going to throw up. He didn't - but slept with us (fitfully) all night and woke up this morning completely fine. Odd. I think he woke because I told 2moms2twins that my kids rarely wake during the night and when they do, L falls back to sleep in .2 seconds - and true to form she did last night.
But in general everyone is behaving well and enjoying the last week and a half left of camp. I can't believe the summer is almost over. Where did it go?
Thanks everyone. I read up on it at work (because what else do i do here lol) and felt a bit better at how common it is. I think A is just mad that she missed my call at 5:30 that I was taking her in...not my fault. She will get over it and Ky will probably realize mama is a big softy while she is all bandaged up. As a side note she is going back to the same ortho that diagnosed/corrected her hip dysplasia that we have not seen in a year!
2mommiesinOH: Sorry to hear about Ky's elbow...I hope she recovers quickly. And I hope Ann stops being such an a$$hat soon.
ATP: E lost her other top front tooth over the weekend and is so dang adorable. I need to get a picture of it...keep forgetting. I've had friends with older kids warn me about the "sense of entitlement" stage that hits around this age. I don't think I'm seeing it from her yet but then I think that once she goes to the big school in a few weeks she'll learn all sorts of things that will take my innocent little girl away...sigh.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I'm sorry things are hard right now. Sending you positive thoughts.
Iz has been doing so much better, she is more focused we still think she has ADD and has been much more kind toward me.
Owl is making lots of noises and is mimicking words every now and then. We started mental health therapy this week and it's helping her to be more comfortable/feel safe.
discovered she caYELLhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
Lots of love to everyone - those having a hard time and those looking forward tot he next step.
Here's a little quote from the Desiderata (which I LOVE) for a little peace for us all!
"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
TTC:- This month was going to be the month where I start Femara, and I am meant to start on Saturday. We'll see how that goes though. My boss just asked if I'd go on a client visit to the Netherlands and provide some training to our sales team while I'm in that part of the world. We'll see how it goes. If I have to go, it won't be the worst thing ever, I've really missed home lately, so a week in London wouldn't be all bad.
Owl is teething and has a cold, boo. She is on the verge of walking and has discovered that she can YELL EVERYTHING.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
gee - where have i been? Little Bear is tall and growing more independent each day - but I'm also lucky that he is still my cuddle bug! We're having hits and misses with potty training - on/off kind of event for us. He's speaking and signing more - but he loves his technology toys (leappad) and trains/transportations. Oh - one super special event from this past week - rode his first horse!
as for ttc - it might be completely suspended or not - still up in the air. However, I wont try after November - we might just be one and done. However, I do hope dp does keep an open mind regarding adoption if necessary.
hello everyone! with my mac back in my hands i can finally participate
TTC: my 1 year old celebrated her first birthday about a week ago, and i simultaneously had my first at home insemination - this being my first insemination attempt as my wife (D) carried the first time around. it worked in one shot last time so fingers crossed!
ATP: i worry that P will be resisting the sippy cup forever, and as if that daily fight isn't enough, i'm convinced that whenever i mention it to family or the pediatrician in hopes of getting some sage advice i instead get...judged. the reign of her single night bottle may just end this week
happy wednesday
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Hope Ky feels better soon and that all those in the 2WW and next steps TTC get lucky :-)
Little K is finally down for a nap (it was a 10 outfit day... several for me as well). *sigh* He's doing well, sleeping, eating, pooping. Today he spit up a lot and often so I'm going to try feeding upright and interrupting nursing to burp. Other than that he coos, smiles, laughs (kind of), today he played on his mat for the first time batting things around. Each day is a new thing so it's super exciting and I'm tired...
Feeling for Ky and Kershnic!
PCP: Getting through kidney stones is the main goal. As of today, I haven't passed it, starting a new med and have a follow-up scan and surg consult in two weeks. Once that's over it's just maintaining status quo. It's been a year since my big weight loss and the last 3-4 cycles have been regular again (28/29 day cycles!). I'd like to lose 10-ish lbs before ttc, but it's not as major concern of a PCP goal as it was 30 lbs ago.
TTC timeline not until early 2013, but hopefully before my big three-oh in Feb.
Thinking of you and hoping that you find some peace in the midst of all of this.
IUI #2 (100 mg clomid and HCG trigger) - BFN
IUI #3 (Gonal-f and HCG trigger) - BFN
IVF #1 - 21 retrieved, 20 mature, 15 fertilized (ICSI), 2 d5 blasts transferred, 8 frozen - c/p
FET #1 - BFFN
FET #2 - BFN? c/p? Either way no baby
FET #3 - No shock...BFN
FET #4 - BFN :-(
Surgery and TTC cancelled - pursuing surrogacy
7/31/12 Surrogate got a +HPT!!!!
Fingers crossed for you!!
IUI #2 (100 mg clomid and HCG trigger) - BFN
IUI #3 (Gonal-f and HCG trigger) - BFN
IVF #1 - 21 retrieved, 20 mature, 15 fertilized (ICSI), 2 d5 blasts transferred, 8 frozen - c/p
FET #1 - BFFN
FET #2 - BFN? c/p? Either way no baby
FET #3 - No shock...BFN
FET #4 - BFN :-(
Surgery and TTC cancelled - pursuing surrogacy
7/31/12 Surrogate got a +HPT!!!!
Thanks!
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*