Do I really want 3 kids?

ldoo · August 2012

I have a 4yo and 2yo and work full-time. I LOVE LOVE being pregnant. I can't explain it. I just do. So I'm dying to get pregnant. But I'm not so sure on the having three kids part. Ha! It sounds logistically difficult, especially for a working mom who already misses her two girls so much during the week.

Anyone out there have three young kids? Pros and cons?

(And really - I know in all honesty that you could give me 100 kids, and I'd love them all. Just a bit concerned about the reality of that many children.)

BarefootContess · August 2012

I have four, five and under, and am pregnant with a fifth. I do not work, however. I do not see how I could keep things going if both my husband and I worked. The best part about multiple kids and seeing their interactions.

kes77 · August 2012

I can totally relate to how you are feeling!!! I am currently pregnant with #3 and due in 9 weeks. My husband and I have a two girls, a 4 and 2 year old. We went back and forth for awhile about whether or not we'd want one more child. My husband works full-time and I work part-time which helps but we were worried about one more being too much, and would we be over-extending ourselves emotionally, mentally & financially. We could totally see ourselves as a family of 4 BUT when it came down to it, we both felt our family wasn't complete yet and that we'd regret not having another in years to come. I worry how we will make it all "work" but I feel (and hope!) as if things will fall into place. ??I love watching my two girls interact and can't wait to see what this little one's personality will be like and see them all grow together.

mama2many · August 2012

I kept teaching until I had #4 - The logistics of 4 & the cost for daycare (even part time) just got to be not worth it any longer.

CONS: It was difficult when I had three. There was no longer a hand for each kid, or a parent for each kid. and, the worst part, for me, was that there was always an "odd man out". Two would be getting along well, and the other one would throw the balance into utter chaos and someone would end up crying.

There is quite a bit more to do with each age - several sports teams, dance practices, etc. And although housing expenses don't go up, and you can hand down clothes, toys, etc. Food definitely increases. It's also harder & more expensive to find a sitter after you go past two.

but, honestly, I think the cons are really time-specific and mostly logistical. I think of the benefits as FAR outweighing and as more life-long.

PROS: It doesn't get worse than with three - by the time you have 3 or 4, your older ones are getting big enough to be more independent and often are very sweet in service to their siblings. I don't have to "entertain" them anywhere near as much as I had to when I only had one or two- they have playmates, and I can have authentic interactions with them.

I adore having a number of children. With 3 or more, you can really see the differences in the individuals - and I get excited to see where their gifts & talents lie and watch how they develop to be exactly who God wired each of them to be. I also get to delay the empty nest & increase my chances for lots of grandchildren AND the chance is better at least one or two of them will live near me when they are older (unlike myself & my cousin - both onlys who moved a thousand miles away from home as soon as we left HS).

My kids can be so sweet to each other and I love watching their relationships with each other develop. My younger ones love their oldest brother so deeply - it's like he's a super-hero to them. They guide each other, and I feel like having a bigger family will provide them with a built-in support system through many stages in life. My kids will go and comfort one another when one is sad or scared, sometimes before I know, or without me knowing.

Clearly, since I'm having "twice three" in Dec, I don't see it as too hard to go from 2 up.

tcfreedom · August 2012

I had my first four girls in six years. I'm now pg with #6 and DH and I are self employeed.

I love being a working mom. I get the best of both worlds - and true, we are C-R-A-Z-Y busy with activities, work commitments, house maintenance, pets etc. but mostly it's just taught us all to be organized, to compromise, and to be flexible. My kids are so self motivated and independent, and I think it's because we all have to work together.

There are bennefits to being a small family too, I'm sure. I just know that for us we wouldn't have it any other way. True, my house is never perfectly clean, with more than two you can give up that dream! But each new child brings more fun, more challenges, and a little more love to go around.

ldoo · August 2012

Thanks, ladies! I really appreciate your input.

owlprof · August 2012

a never been pregnant lurker butting in....so, take my comments for what they are worth.

If you really love being pregnant but don't want the kids that are the product of the pregnancy, you could always consider being a surrogate.

ldoo · August 2012

owlprof:
a never been pregnant lurker butting in....so, take my comments for what they are worth.

If you really love being pregnant but don't want the kids that are the product of the pregnancy, you could always consider being a surrogate.

Oh don't get me wrong, I WANT the kids. I'm just struggling with whether it's a good idea to have three and was curious what others who have been there thought.

Thanks!

gundy21 · August 2012

My brother has three - currently 15, 13, and 11. Their scheudles are crazy - only made worse since they are in different school buildings this year (high school, jr. high, and middle school) and the oldest won't get her license until the end of the school year. I don't know how they do it between dance and music classes, sports, church, and honors classes. We are just having 1 - and I think that will keep us more than busy!

MJMommy410 · August 2012

I am pregnant with number 3...mt first two are 6 and 8 and are from my first marriage. Just got married again and DH has no kids. I really thought I ewas done but decided to have one with him. The idea of the third is scary at times...my son now has to share a room which he never had to do...I've gotten so used to only having two. But I feel like we all just figure it out and learn how to handle it. I remember my ex-SIL, who had 3, saying that the hardest adjustment was going from no kids to 1 kid. After two, she said it was basically no change.

021anne · August 2012

mine are growing up but 3 is great as the older 2 have someone to take care of and it is a sort of formation for them - very good socially // don't know for sure how it will be because of temperaments/personalities; it is great, too, for us as we get older - more to help out // plus, we downsized housing twice so I could stay home - wonderful + we got into homeschool and so enjoy them { we actually have more than 3}

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