Attachment Parenting

need help with bedtime

I'm having a real struggle with bedtime for DD, who is 6 months. She displays tired signs around 7-7:30pm, so I try nursing to sleep in our bed (we bedshare) at that time. She usually goes down without too much trouble, but ALWAYS wakes up within an hour. The only way to get her back to sleep is to quickly nurse again. She will usually wake up again one more time before 10pm (bedtime for DH and I).

I know the problem is that she comes out of her sleep cycle and I'm not there, and it wakes her up. She takes all her naps in the Ergo and sleeps with me overnight. I don't mind the naps or the overnight, but I honestly need a couple hours in the evening to not have a baby attached to me, and to spend time with DH. Am I just doomed to wait it out??

FWIW, we've tried everything to keep her asleep. Later bedtime, earlier bedtime, skipping her last nap of the day, solids before bed, routine, dark room, white noise, no noise. All of these things either don't work, or result in a very cranky baby. She also cannot stand DH at bedtime for some reason, so it's all on me. Advice?

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: need help with bedtime

  • Two things I would try...

    Most important - turn bedtime over to DH.  I'm convinced that one of the best things we ever did as far as sleep was to trade off who was putting the kids to sleep.  Right now, Eleanor actually goes to sleep much faster for DH these days!  Yes, she will be angry.  But she will also be with a loving daddy so that's ok!  They need to find their own rhythm on how she can go to sleep with him - wearing always worked for my DH.  I'd nurse her and then let daddy take it from there.

    The other thing to try is to get in there before she wakes so you can try to pat her back to sleep before she wakes.  Even better if DH can do this so the milk temptation isn't there.  I'm all about still night nursing at this age but also understandable that you'd like her to go more than an hour ;-)

     

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  • I had to hand over bedtime to my husband & things are much better now. The first night was rough, but it's awfully cute to hear my husband singing "buy you a mockingbird" on repeat through the monitor. :) Hang in there. We hit a good sleeping spot around 6.5 months but having my husband be more involved was key. I also had to step back & let them create their own way of doing bedtime. I was telling him to do this and do that but it wasn't working until I let him lead. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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