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I fell off the wagon last night... (intro and minor vent)

ariellabeariellabe
in Special Needs

it's been 39 days since I had to tell someone STFU!  sigh... I'm really trying to work on my potty mouth.

Some background: I'm expecting DC #2, DS is 10 and has Asperger's. 

What made me flip?  My SIL asked me how soon can my baby be tested? OMG, really?!  Then the lecture started that I should find out as soon as possible.  She also thought that DH and I somehow caused out son's ASD.

Keep in mind, that I don't want to put my head in the sand.  I'm planning to diligently observe the developmental stuff and go for testing when the baby is 1 or so.  I just wish I could enjoy my pg w/o someone putting their dark cloud over me. 

It hurts that I can't talk to her like a normal person. 


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Re: I fell off the wagon last night... (intro and minor vent)

  • ariellabeariellabe
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    Yeah, you really gotta work on that potty talk. With a kid with Aspergers you're either going to reprimanded by a rule boy or end up with him adopting the same language for himself. It would be the latter here, though he's developed excellent code switching skills for the most part.

    So people just need to be told to STFU. You probably did the rest of us a service. IME, the most hypervigilent parents are those with one child already on spectrum. You might be able to find a research program interested in your baby (I think these are mostly for full genetic sibs) which would offer a top notch evaluation as early as possible. I think CHOP in Philly was doing this recently; IAN would be another resource for studies in which you could participate.

    I kind of don't know why you're still talking to someone stupid enough to believe you and your DH somehow caused this, though it is a refreshing change from Jenny McCarthy. Who died and made her Bruno Bettelheim?

    LOL, I have a rule boy and he employs code switching skills! (I'm in huge trouble) 

    Thank you so much for providing me with the research info.  I thought I had to wait longer.

    As for my SIL, I've managed to remain civil for the most part. I think she's more like Tony Humphreys cos she blames everything on general bumbling, neglect and abuse.   My ILs tried to blame me for my son's ASD too.  So I figured that was the general consensus. She has been mostly supportive over the years but she's become very negative since she found out I was pg. Now I'm going to contact her less.  Maybe I'll wait until the baby is born before I reach out again. It's just sad.

    I realized over the years that it is very hard to change someone's initial impressions of ASD.  I know so many otherwise sane people who still blame ASDs on vax, eating meat and/or non-organic food, while hunting for refrigerator mums. 


     

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