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When did you feel connected?

Ktbug613Ktbug613 member
in 1st Trimester

I hear people talk about how they loved their baby as soon as they knew they were pregnant. I am super excited to be pregnant and Ive always wanted to be a mom but I don't feel any connection to the baby. I didn't really think much of it until our recent bleeding scare brought out how emotionally attached DH is already. Sort of made me feel like something is wrong with me that I don't really feel much yet.

S/N Im 7 weeks but we have already had two ultrasounds. so I have seen the baby and the heartbeat and everything twice

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Re: When did you feel connected?

  • dande2129dande2129 member

    I enjoyed being pregnant with my first, and I was excited for everything. But I felt weird saying that I "loved" my fetus. I wanted him, and I had dreams for his life and our time together, but I didn't "love" him. I wanted to protect him from the inside, and I wanted to nurture that environment until I could on the outside. So, therein lay the connection for me. When he was born, I loved him. I could say that I absolutely loved him.

    Just because you aren't gushing over how much you love your fetus doesn't mean that you aren't connected. IMO, you'd have to be at least partially emotionally invested in order to continue to take prenatals, go to doctor appts, eat right, don't smoke/drink/go on crazy rollercoasters/everything else that we are restricted to as pregnant women. 

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  • LulalalaLulalala member
    Nothing wrong with you at all!

    You are still quite early... And women are the ones who have to adjust to the reality of what our body is about to go through!  Couple that with hormones plus concerns about your bleeding...

    I am the same as you though... Very excited but does not seem real yet.  I'm saying the words, but no real emotion behind it yet (other than excited).

    Hopefully everything is okay with your bleeding scare!
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  • jennrustjennrust

    Don't feel bad. I wanted to feel more connected to my baby to, but for me it happened slowly over time. When he moved, when I started to show and it reminded me everyday that he was in there. When I finally met him I felt a lot of love for him but even now that he is almost two I find that I love him more now than ever. When he says "mama" or gives me kisses or does something new I've never seen before. I love him more everyday than the day before and I don't think that's a bad thing. It just didn't happen all at once for me.

     Now that I'm pregnant with a second I can't imagine loving another person as much as I love my son, but I'm not worried because I know it'll be the same with this baby. My love for them will grow and grow as they do. It's kinda awesome in a way. 

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  • rakle99rakle99 member
    While I've been excited this entire time, I didn't start feeling 'connected' to the LO until I regularly felt movements.
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  • Ktbug613Ktbug613 member
    imageLulalala:
    Nothing wrong with you at all!

    You are still quite early... And women are the ones who have to adjust to the reality of what our body is about to go through!  Couple that with hormones plus concerns about your bleeding...

    I am the same as you though... Very excited but does not seem real yet.  I'm saying the words, but no real emotion behind it yet (other than excited).

    Hopefully everything is okay with your bleeding scare!
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  • Ktbug613Ktbug613 member
    imageLulalala:
    Nothing wrong with you at all!

    You are still quite early... And women are the ones who have to adjust to the reality of what our body is about to go through!  Couple that with hormones plus concerns about your bleeding...

    I am the same as you though... Very excited but does not seem real yet.  I'm saying the words, but no real emotion behind it yet (other than excited).

    Hopefully everything is okay with your bleeding scare!

     

    Thank you. Everything is fine with the bleeding. I forget the technical term for it, but the ultrasound today showed a tiny bleed spot, but it wasn't in any of the baby space just some tissue outside. Its apparently common and no harm to baby :)

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  • KristyVitKristyVit
    Exact same with me. I never felt much of anything but then had a total meltdown when I started to bleed a little about 3 weeks ago. I can't say I have felt connected though. I too have had 2 ultrasounds, have seen the HB, etc... but the baby didn't really look like a baby. I think once it looks a little more humanlike and less peanutish, I start showing and I can feel movement is when you really start to feel it but this is my first so I have no idea!
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  • synchrosallysynchrosally member
    Every milestone made me more connected to DS. The first ultrasound, the first kick, but I wouldn't say I was really connected until I had him in my arms. At the minute the pregnancy is still not quite real to me, but as time passes I'm sure I'll feel more connected.
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  • Sarai28Sarai28
    Feeling the baby move helps with being connected.  I also felt more connected when we found out the gender and picked out a name.  It just seemed like I could identify with the baby more.  I don't think I truly "loved" the baby until he was born.
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  • cgator14cgator14 member
    Feeling movement is very cool and exciting, but the best moment of amazing bonding and connection is immediately after LO is born! It's the BEST MOMENT EVER!!!
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  • steph620steph620
    I'm in the same boat as you...I felt like something was wrong with me too! I thought after my U/S I would feel more connected but I felt the same. I think as our bodies change it will feel more real. But I agree with PP, even though I haven't birthed a baby yet, that first moment you see them with be the best :)
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  • MoreThanABrideMoreThanABride member
    I felt excited and connected to my DD before she was born, but I don't think I loved her until after. Even then it wasn't an instant thing, it grew over time.

    BFP 11/09 - DD 7/10 - BFP 8/11 - M/C 9/11 - BFP 6/12 - DD - 2/13

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  • xtina&izxtina&iz
    I feel the same way as well. I am freaking out about all the things that I could do wrong once the baby gets here so I must have some attachment to it. But it seems so unreal at times, other than the crappy sickness I have and I seem to be loosing weight, thank god I am over weight so my doctor isn't worried yet. 
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