Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Birth Plan for scheduled C-Section
Probably because it wasn't a birth plan for a scheduled c-section.
I would ask for delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin in the OR, delayed newborn procedures, newborn procedures done in mom's arms, DH to stay with LO if LO has to be removed to NICU, no formula or sugar water w/o permission, no bath, delayed weighing (some argue their weight is artificially high after a c/s because of the fluids and that their weight 24 hours after is more accurate - this is important if you're bf'ing because they don't like to see them lose 10% of their body weight). That's all I can think of off the top of my head.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Thanks for the advise...
There are a few thing that I would like done this time around and I guess I should just start writing them down as I think of them...
I am in St. Louis and have been told that the hospital I am delivering at will do Bedside Admit where baby will stay with mommy in recovery and they will go to the room together. That would be awesome!
My birth plan is simple. I told my doctor I wanted drugs, all that they would give me, I want my husband to be with me at all times, and I would like family to visit afterwards. I trust my doctor will do what is best for me and my baby. Oh, my hospital's policy is that my baby stays in the room with me at all times unless there is complications which suits me just fine.
Nope. If I end up with a RCS I won't have one. They already did everything in my emergency c/s that I would want. I wasn't strapped down, they waited to clamp the cord. I held my son as soon as he was cleaned off. I was still being stiched up. I have zero complaints on how it was handled the first time around to care.
If I get the VBAC I want I will have a small list of "things I hope to happen" but not even a plan really.
I think the desire for a plan comes when the first time sucked. Like how I didn't see DD for three hours for no reason and they did all the procedures without my consent-actually against my explicit non-consent-including a bath which I'd wanted to do.
So for me:
DH and LO do not leave my side at all.
Immediate skin to skin and BFing in the OR.
Delay all of the NB procedures until after we are both out of recovery and I can discuss and participate in everything.
Some other options that might be up for consideration:
Lowering the drape to see LO emerge-some parents want this and others are uncomfortable, so it is worth having on a plan.
Potential for delayed cord clamping.
What do you want done with the placenta?
Arms tied down or not?
I'm sure there are others that could come up which are open for discussion but not necessarily part of typical hospital policy. It has nothing to do with trusting the doctors. It has to do with feeling good about the birth and that is important.
I am in St. Louis too. What hospital are you delivering at?
@ reece0099 - I am delivering at Mercy in St. Louis.
I had a great experience before when I had my son.
Here's mine. Turns out, everything I requested was standard, except for the skin to skin in the OR. It's too cold in there for baby to hang out naked. It wasn't a big deal though. DH took baby to recovery while they finished stitching me up and I was with them in about 10 minutes. It was great bonding time for DH and baby.
I also taped my birthplan to a box of cookies and handed it to the OR nurse. She read over it in my presence and everything happened like I asked.
I also took little gifts for all of our nurses and they truly appreciated it. We had a great experience all around.
Before Surgery:
? I would like to meet the OR staff (anesthesiologist and nursing staff) if possible.
? I would like a full explanation of the procedure and the medications to be used.
In the OR/During Delivery:
? Please place the catheter in after the epidural/spinal block is placed.
? Please allow my husband in the OR for the procedure.
? I would like my husband to take photos if allowed by OB/anesthesiologist.
? Please give us the option of lowering the screen as the baby is being born.
? My husband does not wish to cut the umbilical cord.
? We would like a family photo taken of the three of us after birth, and please feel free to take the camera from my husband and take any pictures you feel we?d like.
? In the eventuality the baby needs medical care outside the OR, I would like my mom to stay with me while my husband stays with the baby.
? If possible, I would like at least one arm to remain free to touch/hold the baby after birth.
? I would like to have the baby placed skin to skin on my chest as soon as possible while still in the OR and if not, as soon as we get to recovery.
? Please do not give the baby formula, sugar water or a pacifier unless medically necessary.
Post Partum:
? Please do not allow guests in the room while I?m breastfeeding.
? Please allow me to take stool softener as necessary.
? Please order an abdominal binder for me after surgery if suggested by OB.
? I would like to try to walk, eat, use the restroom and shower as soon as possible.
Circumcision:
? We would like the baby to be circumcised at the hospital.