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Single Parents
pregnant after one-night stand. New here
Hello
I am 38 going to be a single mother at the end of November, after a drunken one-night stand with an ex-boss (who is 10 years older)
The company I work for went out for drinks back in February and he was there. After talking and a few drinks, we went outside for fresh air. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex in the alleyway. I am now 23-24 weeks pregnant with his baby.
When I found out, I told him. He said a number of things, including that he didn't want anything to do with me. He also said it couldn't be his, as he had a vasectomy. I know this is a lie, as I am friends with his ex wife. He told me that his days of being a new father are over (he has 2 already in their 20's). He accused me of not using protection, but neither did he.
So I am facing up to being a single Mum. What I do know is that this baby s going to be loved by my family and friends. I have no idea where I would be without their support.
The father also said the only way I'l hear from him is through his lawyer, as he wants a DNA test to prove it is his and also to get access. I agreed to the DNA test, but after the way he has treated me - saying he's not the father and other things, he is going to have to fight for access.
Sorry for the long post. I hope to meet nice people on here and to share my journey with you.
Natalie
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Re: pregnant after one-night stand. New here
I already got you on our BMB, but I'd like to add a few things:
1. You really shouldn't fight access of your child. It's unfair to limit your child's access to his other parent. And depending on where you live and the circumstances, you might not have any choice on the matter.
2. Don't dwell on the bad things. It seems like a lot, to forgive someone who said those things to you and abandoned you/your child when you needed them most, but really, what's gained by holding a grudge? You'l be happier if you focus on yourself and your baby, just being happy.
Hope all goes well.
I don't understand these effing men. They just constantly LIE. My baby's father left me and my kids after 9 months and me being 21wks pregnant with his baby. He had been seeing a girl a couple weeks before he left..I just found out SHE is pregnant. What a winner eh? Anyhoo, its maddening how they can bang them out for their own selfishness and then totally deny the product.
If I were in your shoes I would be mature about it and let him panic about a paternity test and give him his visits. However you need to come up with some boundaries, for instance my baby's father loves his weed and his vodka rockstars so I will be requesting he has drug tests before he picks her up and he refrain from drinking while hes got my daughter. I'm also asking for supervised visits in the beginning because he has 2 pitbulls, though I love them to pieces, they're 2 females and they turn on each other daily..my baby doesn't need to be in the middle of that.
Just make sure that you stand your ground! Don't let him bully you into anything. Take notes of circumstances, bring them to court with you. Ultimately if hes freaking out about how he wants visits with the baby then obviously he's lied about getting fixed. Just do your best and remember that honey works better than vinegar sometimes, don't give him a reason to be unrealistic. The courts will see right past the silliness so keep ur chin up!
First of all congrats on being a new mom.
Second, I'm sorry about the BD...what a jerk. He doesn't deserve to be apart of your child's life right now.
Third, if you want him out of your life forever he can always sign over your rights.
... Anyways hun I wish you the best. We are all here to support you. GL!
I am sorry that he treated you that way. But you need to stop thinking of you and start thinking of your baby. Your baby who is a separate person deserves a dad. The court will not care how he treated you while you were pregnant. That isn't a good enough reason to keep him from his kid. And not only that but it looks bad on you as a mother to the court.
This is not true. Parental rights cannot be terminated just because a parent is a jerk, or you don't like him, or whatever. There has to be a good solid reason, like the father is deemed unfit by a court and the court seeks to terminate rights, or the CP is remarried and the step parent is trying to adopt the child. That said, a child support order does not mean the father has visitation rights if you are unmarried. He must set up visitation through the courts, if he wishes to do so.
Im not sure you ever planned on having children or not , but at 38 you have to see it as a blessing. esp being a o.n.s. So many woman have issues getting pregnant.
Enjoy this journey. Pregnancy goes by fast do take it all in. If he comes around great , if not you will be ok. His loss !!!