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August 2012 Moms
Daniellekrista
member
Open Letter Tuesday
Daniellekrista
member
Dear bladder-
Please make up your mind. When I feel like I have to pee, nothing comes out. When I feel fine, I pee myself. Get it together.
-Tired of changing my underwear
Dear Uterus-
Get it together.
-Owner
Dear LO-
Please come out before my scheduled induction.
-Really wanting to labor at home
I make cute babies.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Open Letter Tuesday
Haha love it!!
Mind if I chime in?
Dear LO -
I'm trying really hard to keep you cooking for at least another week and a half. Please stop headbutting my cervix... even if it is fun. You're making your mama nervous.
- The one who has been growing you for the last 37 plus weeks...
Dear UPS-
You have my package. I want my package. It 'arrived' at your facilities that are only an hour and a half away 5 hours ago. Please process faster, I want my package before the absolute end of the day tomorrow. Early morning would be best.
-Bed rest mama who wants her new toy.
Dear Stomach -
I hear you. I'm hungry too. But you must share your space with LO so bare with me. I'm tired of trying to please both of you and ended up with heartburn.
- The mom
P.S. I know you still really want those cheese fries. So don't I... so don't I...
EDIT: Double post.
Dear Mouse-
Stop being a failure and double clicking when I'm not double clicking. How hard is your job... seriously?!
-The grumpy gills who bought you.
Dear LO,
Stop using my bowels as a trampoline. I don't mind getting up at 2am to MAYBE pee, but the false bowel movement alarms are not fun.
Mommy
Dear University grad office,
Please stop messing up my financial aid / reimbursements. If you don't have to wait 3 months for your paycheck, neither should I. We both signed a contract. Keep up your end of the bargain. I'm due in 2 weeks and don't have the time or energy right now to continue fighting you on this. If you can't do your job, you don't get vacation.
The student you keep screwing out of thousands of dollars until it suits you to pay me
Dear DH,
I'm SO very glad you're excited to get baby girl out of me. However, I'm not due for another 2 weeks and need those 2 weeks to get some work done! Patience, grasshopper
It is adorable that you're excited about packing your hospital bag. Will you pack mine while you're at it? Oh, and thank you for getting the nursery set up!
Your wife
LOL. I love this one!
Dear Baby,
Please quit digging your heels in (and I do mean literally digging your heels in, that hurts my ribs!) and get out here already. You're due in two days and if you could start working on moving your way down, that'd be great!
Love,
Mommy
Dear husband,
I'm sorry for snapping at you this morning. Blame the achy vag on that one. This is half your fault. xoxo
Love,
Your adoring, very pregnant wife
Dear Neighbors and Family Friends,
Please quit "just stopping by!" unannounced to check in. I am past my due date, swollen, cranky and not in the mood for company. And please stop saying "I can't believe you haven't had the baby yet!"
Signed,
Tired of putting on a happy face.
Dear family and friends,
Please stop being "upset" when you come to see my babies and they are asleep. A text message before you come does not guarantee they will still be awakw when you arrive either. They are one week old so they don't have very much awake time. Also, please stop asking about my house, when the power gets turned on you will know because we will be there. And don't act surprised when I say I am not returning to work until October. I know that school starts next week but I am on maternity leave, I still have to do lesson plans and grading but I don't have to go to school because my body needs time to heal and my babies deserve time to bond.
Thanks,
Tired, frustrated and losing patience for all adults
Dear LO,
Thank you so much for turning around and getting out of that breach position! One more thing, I certainly don't want to rush you, but feel free to come a day or two before next weeks scheduled RCS... Mama wants a VBAC!
Love your happy mama, no matter your exit route.
Dear sister,
This is not your baby, and it would please me if you would stop referring to him as such, and stop calling him by the name YOU have chosen for him, just because I won't share his name with you. Also, don't worry about making it to the hospital too early in the day I deliver, I fully intend on having several hours of bonding time with just myself, my husband and OUR baby before he is introduced to you or any other overbearing members of our family.
Sincerly your sister, who's not afraid to use the L&D nurses as bouncers if necessary.
Make a pregnancy ticker