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One of those dumb comments

krismott25krismott25 member
in Multiples
This happened a couple weeks ago but I've been a little busy. I almost died when it happened though..... So one of my good friends came to see the girls in the NICU. We were just chatting and she goes... You don't know how hard it is to have just one. At least yours will entertain eachother.  I have no time, I mean I cook dinner every night and it's so hard. All I could think was Really...you're going to say this now... while my TWO kids are in the NICU.... Really? The doc was giving her a serious side eye. And she also had all kinds of advice on how I should breast feed, unsolicited of course. Finally the nurse told her there was nothing similar feeding premie twins and a full term singleton. Go nurse! I think people just want to make you feel better, but complaining how hard they have it isn't the best tactic. Another one I hated while in the NICU was "At least you can catch up on your sleep and get ready." Now that I'm home I know this is complete rubish. Anyway... enough of my fatigued stream of consciousness. Hope you all are doing well! I've been MIA for a bit.
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Re: One of those dumb comments

  • Switzerland87Switzerland87 member

    I wish people would think before speaking! 

    Sorry about all the rude and unthinking comments. I hope your girls get well soon and get to come home with you fast!  

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  • lovemygslovemygs member
    Wow. I was such a wreck when the boys were in SCN....I may have slapped her!
    MFI and (now) AMA
    IVF 1 April 2011 - Cancelled
    IVF 1.5 July 2011 - MC
    IVF 2 October 2011 - BFP!
    *Identical Twin Boys born June 2012*
    Here we go again...IVF 3 is underway!
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    So dumb! I once had a table full of singleton parents at a banquet try to tell me how much easier I had it having twins b/c apparently singletons actually want their parents' attention and you actually have to do stuff with them, and of course twins don't ... ;) The boys were 10m old at the time. They do entertain each other a little bit sometimes (more now that they're 3) but it in NO way comes remotely close for making up for the doubled amount of work and the endless refereeing necessary with my two!
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Darcie EliciaDarcie Elicia member

    At least the nurse set her straight so you didn't have to! Sometimes the best response is no response. ;)

    I'm so sorry though. If she's around you and the babies for any length of time she'll quickly see that she was wrong.  

    Birthday
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  • LottaLattesLottaLattes member

    This almost verges on so ignorant it is cute. My singletons were a lot of work and my full-term twins are way more intense work! And that's without any nicu stress, good grief. And breastfeeding a singleton is nothing at all like twins, I couldn't manage it after a really successful time in the past. Ah well.

     

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  • MrsLntMrsLnt member

    What? Your twins don't change each other's diapers? I trained mine to give each other their bottles and burp each other while I sat back and watched.

    Seriously, some people just have to win the pain olympics. Just smile, nod and know that while there are so many hard things about having multiples that they're never going to get, there are so many awesome things that they don't get either. It's a hard road but it's so rewarding once you get out of the newborn days.  

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  • Venus04dVenus04d member
    Oh, people are just so dumb.

    This is my siggy. Love it.

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  • angelynn8411angelynn8411
    I have learned people don't always know what to say during awkward/tense times, and they say stupid things. My guess is that she was trying to say something positive and optimistic and it came out all wrong. I hope?
    Mom to 2 beautiful girls, 3 yrs and 22 months old. My 2nd was born at 32 weeks due to Rhogam failure/severe complications from Rh disease and is our miracle. She has bilateral auditory neuropathy and a cochlear implant, activated 4/5/2012 at 19 months. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • tma1685tma1685 member
    I'm so glad I mostly get supportive comments right now. It might only be because I've had a really rough pregnancy, but hey I'll take it. I'm very curious to see if it changes after my boys get here. 
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  • chels38026chels38026
    So glad that nurse was there, but still sorry you had to listen to that rubbish.

    P.S. I love your siggy picture!
    After 5 TI Clomid cycles, 5 IUIs, and 2 IVFs we finally got our BFP!
    Beta#1 (12dp3dt)= 353, Beta#2 (15dp3dt)= 1466, Beta#3 (22dp3dt)= 14,139, First u/s: TWINS!!
    After 10 weeks of bedrest, our two little ladies joined us at 28w6d
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • bearfootzbearfootz member

    Isn't it amazing how our ability to produce more than one human being at a time makes our friends feel so intimidated that they rattle off the stupidest things that come to their minds in an effort to defend their mothering? 

    It's not like we really think our friends that have singletons are less of a mom because they don't have twins, right?

    *Siggy Warning*

    About me  2007: Started TTC. 2008: OB prescribed clomid, went to RE and was Dx with PCOS. 2009: IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = BFP. B/G Twins born at 33 weeks. 2012: TTC #3, Round 2 of Letrozole w/TI = BFP, missed m/c at 8 1/2 wks. Currently on the bench as we make plans for a new home. Anxious to start TTC #3 within the next year!

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